Bonjour Le 4 Goals?

In a few hours, TFC will attempt to do the near impossible and score four unanswered goals at Saputo Stadium (Le Stade Provolone en francais) in order to steal the Canadian Championship away from Vancouver. For a team whose main striker (Le Barrette Chad en francais) has scored all of two goals this season, its an uphill battle to say the least.

Due to the unlikelihood of TFC having a hot foursome, many of the nation's major media outlets will sadly ignore this match. Now, regular readers of this site know we like to prod the media into better footy coverage. So, in a gesture of media goodwill, The Yorkies will provide our nation's news editors with tomorrow's headlines based on both outcomes, a Toronto success and a Toronto elimination. Start the presses!

In the event of Toronto FC becoming champions:
"MIRACLE AT MORTADELLA"
"TFC SCORE FOUR IN THRILLER - BARRETT HELD SCORELESS"
"L'IMPACT L'OSE!"
"LEAFS 4 - HABS 0: MADE YOU LOOK! - IT'S SOCCER SUCKAH!"
"OPP OVERWHELMED AS TFC FANS LOOT THE 401!"

In the event of Toronto FC being eliminated:
"TFC CUT THE CHEESE AT SAPUTO"
"JOHNSTON: 'WE HAVE A 5 YEAR PLAN TO WIN THE CUP'"
"OU EST LE BIBLIOTEHQUE?" (For the Quebecois media.)
"IMPACT WIN - QUEBEC ANNOUNCES REFERENDUM"
"VANCOUVER & MONTREAL: 2 CLUBS - 1 CUP"