11. All contracts decided after players spin giant wheel with different possible wages on it.
10. Team comes out on to the pitch for pre-game warm-up in a 2009 Winnebago!
9. When a Sounders player is subbed out, PA announcer yells out a spectator's name and tells them to "Come on down!"
8. If the match ends in a draw, the two opposing managers face-off in a Showcase Showdown!
7. Escalators to QWest Field upper deck replaced by yodeling mountain climber.
6. Neon green home kits adorned with giant yellow nametags.
5. Passing game made redundant after pitch replaced by giant Plinko board.
4. Freddie Ljungberg only signed with Seattle after clause in contract promised him a role as a future "Barker's Beauty".
3. No one leaves empty handed - all losing teams leave Seattle with a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni.
2. Team is motivated by Bob Barker's pre-game threats to have poor performers "spayed or neutered".
1. Player's decision: The MLS Cup... or a Brand New Buick LeSabre!
10. Team comes out on to the pitch for pre-game warm-up in a 2009 Winnebago!
9. When a Sounders player is subbed out, PA announcer yells out a spectator's name and tells them to "Come on down!"
8. If the match ends in a draw, the two opposing managers face-off in a Showcase Showdown!
7. Escalators to QWest Field upper deck replaced by yodeling mountain climber.
6. Neon green home kits adorned with giant yellow nametags.
5. Passing game made redundant after pitch replaced by giant Plinko board.
4. Freddie Ljungberg only signed with Seattle after clause in contract promised him a role as a future "Barker's Beauty".
3. No one leaves empty handed - all losing teams leave Seattle with a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni.
2. Team is motivated by Bob Barker's pre-game threats to have poor performers "spayed or neutered".
1. Player's decision: The MLS Cup... or a Brand New Buick LeSabre!
Posts
Even as a fervent Sounders supporter, I laughed out loud at this - nice job! We (all 32,000+ of us) are looking forward to a great match on Saturday and are stocking up on the rice-a-roni to send your boys home with! :-)
ReplyDeleteEmerald City stand up!
ReplyDeleteAs the lad who writes the match reports, we have no animosity towards Seattle. I've nearly purchased the Sounders home kit a few times due to its glaring awesomeness.
We're missing a few players. I'd say have the rice-a-roni shipped to Toronto now. Save someone the difficulty of packing it on the bus (or getting our depleted bench to do it).
ECS member here. i rightfully laughed at this entry. good stuff!
ReplyDeletehere's to a good match tomorrow. :)