16 points from 16 matches

The Swiss totally "Roned" Spain

(Do you see the bear in the mountain? Just blew your mind)

With Toronto FC on a three week break, and doing little apart from trading hard-working assets for allocation money which will turn into Eastern European cast-offs, we're at a loss of what to do. Oh well, I guess we can keep watching this big soccer tournament everyone's talking about. What is it? The Global Soccer Championship or something? Africa right? Well each "soccering franchise" has played one game and here's what we've noticed so far...
　
- "Vuvuzela" is a Zulu word which translates to "wasp shoved in ear canal"
- France has more team infighting and backstabbing than a whole season of "Survivor"
- Greece may never win another trophy again
- Cristiano Ronaldo may have wet himself a little when surrounded by five angry Cote D'Ivoirians after one of his infamous dives
- The Slovaks are wondering if the Czechs want to "get the band back together" before their next match
- The USA are still celebrating their 1-1 win over England
- Serbia is regretting hiring Ultimate Fighters as their defensive coaches
- Australian newspapers had to fight the temptation to use the word "Blitzkrieg" after the Aussie's 4-0 loss to Germany
- Diego Maradona's beard actually makes him look less like a fat 59-year old housewife
- Brazil's navy on high-alert as North Korea claims their sovereignty was threatened by the 2-1 loss to the South Americans
- Denmark has officially protested to FIFA over Netherlands’ unfair tactic of "not sharing the ball more"
- The last line of 1980's sitcom "Family Ties" theme song and name of South Africa's goal-scoring hero are the same word: "Tshabalala"
- New Zealand indeed "Like to Rock the Party"
- England keeper Robert Green has made inquiries into emigrating to Canada
- Spanish officials have banned Gouda, Laughing Cow spreadable cheese and Toblerone from the team's hotel
- There is no way to disguise CBC's online stream of matches as an Excel spreadsheet when watching games on office computer

"Tshabalala!"