It's a bittersweet day for Yorkies everywhere. Our adopted "World Cup Minnow", the All Whites of New Zealand, were heroically eliminated from the competition earlier today. The Kiwis performed far above any pundit's expectation with a hat-trick of draws against Slovakia, Italy and Paraguay. The big three points they gained from those draws was enough to seal third place in Group F, finishing above abysmal reigning World Champions Italy and only just missing the knockout stages.
Of course the All Whites were helped massively from the now famous "Yorkies’ Bump" - the amazing boost teams get from our pre-tournament adoption. Opposite of the Sports Illustrated cover curse, teams will no doubt be lining up for our prestigious endorsement in the future. With Euro 2012 on the horizon we expect a call from Kazakhstan soon.
It's been a great showing for Canada too. See, New Zealand is really Bizarro Canada. On the other side of the world, generally nice people with a small population, a Commonwealth cousin, a loud and annoying neighbour who kind of speaks the same language and one plucky football club in that other country's league. So, in effect Canada almost made it to the knockout stages of the World Cup! Who needs the CSA?
It's been quite a ride for our plucky little friends but now it's time to set them free. Like a sheep that’s off to University of Wellington with the hope of becoming New Zealand's Prime Minister, we must let go. Well done boys... and you're welcome.
The All Whites are dead.
The Paraguayan passes,
Eliminated their asses.
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