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Monday, June 21, 2010

THE STARTING 11: North Korean World Cup bonuses

------------- It rewinds and... wait for it... fast forwards!

One of the quirkiest oddities of World Cups is the added bonuses that players are promised if successful. Yes there is prize money for the winners but it was always fun when the Royal Family of a Middle Eastern nation would promise any player who scored a goal a new Rolls-Royce or gold plated pyjamas. No official word but MLSE apparently owes Chad Barrett five Chip Buttys. The biggest bonus surprises at this year's World Cup would have to be from the ultra-secretive North Korea (or DPR Korea to its friends). Just what luxuries could be in store for the plucky communists?
11. Ten minute head start at next attempted defection
10. Free "Axis of Evil - 2010" t-shirts
9. Get to become pitchmen for popular North Korean sports drink "Democratic Peoples' Thirst Elimination Liquid"
8. Players and their families get two-night stay at "Sandals Pyongyang Resort Camp"
7. Kim Jong Il-style khaki jumpsuits for the whole team
6. Two month supply of spicy pickled cabbage upon return
5. Cameo appearance on North Korea's #1 sitcom "Everybody Loves Kim... Or Else"
4. Get face on stamp instead of stamped on face
3. Brand new Sanyo BetaMax VCR for every goal-scorer
2. Get to fire opening missile at World War III
1. Shoes!!!

Sweet jumpsuit


  1. This is the best one yet.

    -Run DMc

  2. 5 just makes me laugh like cccrrrrazzzi