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Monday, April 4, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC perks in the De Rosario contract offer

Scarborough Town Centre: Not just a food court... a home

If Dwayne De Rosario's tenure with Toronto FC can be described as dramatic, his departure to New York Red Bulls is a full-blown soap opera. In the three days since the deal went down there has been a back-and-forth war of words between the player and his former club Toronto FC. His claims that he didn't ask for a trade were publically refuted by Aron Winter with every twist played out in the media. In Dutch-English - "a clashik he shaid, she shaid". Winter has insisted that the club offered DeRo a very good deal which was turned down but we wonder what kind of "perks" TFC was willing to throw in to keep the former captain in town...

11. Promised to never let Nick LaBrocca anywhere near his hair again
10. Willing to buy Scarborough Town Centre's food court and turn it into a luxury home for the De Rosario family
9. Jim Brennan would get him his morning coffee (DONE)
8. Club would compete with New York Red Bulls by re-branding team Toronto Tab Cola
7. Team would market a "Tickle Me Elmo"-like children's plush toy called "Cheque Me DeRo"
6. TFC Academy players would throw rose petals in front of him when dribbling the ball
5. Profit sharing on new BMO Field snack "Corn-Rows on the Cob"
4. Allow him to play online poker during any break in play
3. Joao Plata forced to wear white tuxedo and point out team airplane to DeRo
2. Would be allowed to go on trial in Scotland... but only at Kilmarnock
1. Formally petition Mayor Rob Ford to rename Malvern - "Scarborosario"


  1. Hahaha, love 7 &5

  2. #3 is probably the best thing you've ever come up with. The plane, Boss, the plane! Love it.