THE MATCHUP: Smells Like SIXual Healing

That's the last time Nick Soolsma picks our photos...

SEATTLE VS. TORONTO
　
CENTURYLINK FIELD - SATURDAY 10:30PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE---- RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Even though this official season opener may seem slightly anti-cliamctic after Wednesday's massive win in Los Angeles, this is where 2012 starts for realsies. SIXual Healing is under way as TFC opens its sixth MLS season away to Sounders. It's an intriguing opening match for both clubs as they will be equally fatigued after midweek CCL battles but with very different outcomes. Will Seattle bounce back from their Mexican humiliation? Will The Reds be grounded after their high against Galaxy? Aron Winter needs to balance emotions and stamina as he tries to get his squad off to a good start in a stadium where they have rarely looked anything but grungy.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "A Tale of Two CCL's"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
SEATTLE: Alvaro Fernandez, Fredy Montero, Mauro Rosales
TORONTO: Torsten Frings, Ryan Johnson, Danny Koevermans
　
THE ODDS:
- Recently retired ex-Sounders keeper Kasey Keller sitting in rocking chair at field level handing out Werther's Originals: 3-1
- 4 out of 5 opticians not recommending Seattle's third kit: 5-1
- "Spoonman" protesting TFC's release of Geovanny "The Spoon" Caicedo outside of the stadium: 20-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
The Pacific Northwest metropolis of Seattle is still home to more than 500 people who can trace their bloodline to the city's founding fathers. First settled in the early 1970's by the Henderson family - a travelling group of Sasquatch psychiatrists - the early village was name "Seeya Tootly" which is a local native term for "forest ape drinking expensive coffee". Since those humble beginnings, the area has blossomed into a thriving city with leading industries that manufacture some of America's finest lumberjack shirts, angst-filled lyrics, seahawks, tossed salad and scrambled eggs.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "WE'VE BEEN PATIENT, AND VIVACIOUS... SEASON SIX NOW - ENTERTAIN US!"
　
And while it's not quite Marvin Gaye, please enjoy Seattle's own with the next best soul star we could afford....