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Monday, August 6, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Memorable Toronto FC Simcoe Days

"You're welcome Upper Canada"

Ah, the long weekend. The holiday Monday is known across Canada by a flurry of different names such as Heritage Day, Saskatchewan Day and possibly Yukonpalooza but of course the only real name is Ontario's Simcoe Day. Today is the day that Upper Canada honours John Graves Simcoe who drove the snakes out of Pickering sometime in the mid-1970's. History! Of course, since Toronto FC was formed in 2007, the holiday Monday has also marked some memorable moments for the club, its players and its supporters...
11. TTC holiday service on the Dufferin 29 bus route robbed Andrea Lombardo of a starting spot vs. Colorado Rapids
10. Bitchy the Hawk and the infamous BMO Field Squirrel went on their single ill-fated blind date (RIP BMO Field Squirrel 2008 - 2010)
9. Just another Canadian holiday where the favoured Vancouver Whitecaps failed to beat Toronto FC in a cup match
8. In 2010, Mista broke the Major League Soccer record for longest consecutive nap
7. Suarez Soolsma evaded neutering for the fifth straight year
6. Collin Samuel founded his annual* hot dog eating competition for charity** (* "Annual" denotes Mondays) (** "Charity" denotes Collin Samuel's lunch)
5. Carlos Ruiz completed Week 2 of his 5 Week journey to Toronto
4. Last year, Paul Mariner barely avoided an international incident when Toronto airport customs official tells him "he is not welcome into this country until he puts some damn pants on"
3. Every year on this date, a groundhog pops up from under BMO Field's grass, sees its shadow, then proclaims that there will be "no playoffs for another season"
2. Jacob Peterson bought full page ads in all Toronto newspapers declaring that there was no proof that Canada was "actually a thing" and that "The War of 1812 was a draw"
1. It's the 2nd Anniversary of our 3rd 5-Year Plan!


  1. It's not a holiday...

    Although a work holiday is given to employees of the federal and many municipal governments, the provincial government has not defined this day as a statutory holiday and it is not mentioned in either Ontario's Employment Standards Act or Retail Business Holidays Act.

    1. Me and Paul Mariner are not wearing trousers. Holiday!

  2. You guys are just brilliant. Thanks for the laughs as usual