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Monday, September 10, 2012

THE STARTING 11: New TFC 2013 Season Ticket renewal taglines

TFC Ticket Centre - "Operators are standing nearby"

Things have been conspicuously quiet so far on the TFC Season Ticket renewal front. In fairness, the job of TFC ticket rep is currently ranking in career satisfaction alongside "Part-Time Hobo Foot Carer" and "Assistant Crack Dealer". Perhaps the club is waiting for TFC fans to forget Joey Saputo's awesomely dropped Impact price reduction boast or maybe they are waiting for TFC to go on a 5-game winning streak to get supporters' spirits up. Keep waiting. Either way, the club has to embark on its hard sell soon enough and have a few taglines at the ready for a media blitz. Check your emails soon for these doozys...
11. "There's a pretty good shot you'll get to play!"
10. "Yeah, last time we checked, Toronto didn't have a team in the English Premier League... so you can go suck an egg"
9. "Either you come back - or Mo Johnston does. Your choice."
8. "Paul Mariner + Shorts + March = Hilarious!"
7. "# 1 in your hearts - # 10 in the Eastern Conference"
6. "New Club President Jimmy Brennan invites you back..."
5. "First 1000 renewals receive this year's annual management apology in a luxurious faux-brass frame!"
4. "Now with 75% more random cats than a Raptors game!"
3. "Get in on the ground level of the new 5 Year Plan"
2. "PRICE REDUCTION!*... (*on second order of BMO Field tacos)
1. "Next year is totes for realzies guys!"


  1. I already got this email from TFC Front Office. Now everytime I thnik of TFC I think of the song "hooker with a Penis" and these Lyrics:

    "All you read and
    Wear or see and
    Hear on TV
    Is a product
    Begging for your
    Fatass dirty

    So...Shut up and

    Buy my new record
    Send more money
    Fuck you, buddy."

    TFC Email:
    "In the next few weeks we will be communicating the 2013 renewal process; in advance of that BMO would like to give all Toronto FC Season Seat Holders a very special offer.

    By signing up for the BMO Toronto FC MasterCard and using the card to renew your Season Seat account, BMO will give you the brand new 2013 Toronto FC Home Jersey for free . Be the first to have the new jersey by signing up for this great offer.

    Receive the newly designed 2013 Toronto FC jersey (an approximate value of $120) when you renew your season tickets for the 2013 season using your BMO® Toronto FC MasterCard®*!1

    If you don't already have a BMO Toronto FC MasterCard you can apply today at Once approved, you should receive your MasterCard within 10-15 business days.

    Paul Beirne
    Senior Director Business Operations
    Toronto FC

    Small Print:
    1. In order to receive a certificate redeemable at Real Sports Apparel for an official 2013 Toronto FC jersey, you must renew your Toronto FC Season Ticket Account prior to Final Renewal Deadline using your BMO Toronto FC MasterCard. There is a limit of one 2013 Toronto FC jersey for each season ticket account holder renewing their season tickets."

    1. Mmm - the corporate predictability of it all is so luxurious. I must say though - I am surprised by their generosity. Totally expected a $2 off your next kit coupon.

      I'm holding out for the faux-brass frame.

  2. haha I'd prefer the new interim Club president Jimmy B to send me my person invite.