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Monday, June 10, 2013

THE STARTING 11: Ways Toronto FC players spent their weekend off

""Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts."

It was renowned 20th Century poet, lyricist and Loverboy Michael J. Reno who penned "Everybody's goin' off the deep end. Everybody needs a second chance." Indeed, for Toronto FC members, their days of preparation are actually "work for the weekend" - how successful they are is another article. Sometimes though - the weekend isn't about work for those nutty Reds and the squad gets an MLS "bye-week" such as this past weekend. So what do your Eff Cees get up to with sudden free time on their hands... er... feet?
11. RYAN NELSEN: Returned to the UK to begin quest to find the next big John Bostock
10. STEFAN FREI: Spent nights spray-painting "JOE BENDIK SUX" in alleyways
9. JIM BRENNAN: Had a relaxing Sunday drinking out of his new "World's Best Reserve League Interim Manager" mug. Which he himself bought. On the way home from the reserve league match. Draw.
8. DANNY CALIFF: Endured an agonizing few hours with a tattoo artist changing his "I LOVE TORONTO" tattoo to instead read "I LEAVE TORONTO"
7. MATIAS LABA: Secretly continuing his construction of a raft capable of enduring a journey from Ontario Place to Buenos Aires
6. TERRY DUNFIELD: Meticulously ironing his sock tassels in preparation for his return from injury
5. LOGAN EMORY: Desperately trying to conceal the fact that he has been living in one of BMO Field's souvenir stands for the last 11 months
4. DAREL RUSSELL: Hunting high and low for his missing letters "R" and "L"
3. JEREMY BROCKIE: Getting increasingly frustrated with Canadians who think that his name is "Geermee"
2. KEVIN PAYNE: Going to Subway and trying to get a $5 Foot Long sub "on loan"
1. BITCHY THE HAWK: Getting high with the BMO Field cat
And... since the next fixture is on the horizon... let's get working...

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