Match Report - LA Galaxy @ TFC

It was sunny when I left the hammer. I thought I was prepared for the elements, but here I sit on the bus heading back and i'm soaked through three layers. Mother nature is a bitch. There, i said it.

In the crowd today were the fools who overpaid for a game without golden bollocks himself, David Beckham. And the Galaxy missed him badly. Don't hate on us, blame Fabio Capello (who?). Doesn't matter. Fresh off a heartbreaker of a game against DC blowing two leads and a soft cushion to land on in the form of Montreal Impact in V-Cup action (newsflash : your other trophy name is stupid) winning 1-0.

So the Galaxy runs head first into the red sea known as the B' and are up against the hottest home team in the WORLD! Yes, the world. Aww, to hell with flowery prose to set this up... the report is 4 days late as is... check the info, yo...

Landycakes was on the bench as he musta saw what U-Sector did to poor Reyna and Nike was looking to protect their stars.

Predictions were all pro-TFC 1-0, 2-0, 2-1, and i went for 7-0. It should'Ve been 7 nil...

This match is brought to by the letters F and K and by the number 4...

1 - Ricketts hooks the ball in while Cunningham JUST misses.

8 - free kick by Ricketts, Velez gets two cracks blocked by LA defense.

9 - There's only twoooooooo Toronto goailies...

17 - SUB - Teliby off for Julius James. Teliby must be hurt.

18 - ominous clouds roll in...

22 - Edu gets the ball nicely laid off to Cunningham who is offside (this is literary device known as 'foreshadowing')

27 - Harmse smokes the ball 25 yards out at an unsuspecting carlsburg umbrella. The umbrella was unharmed.

28 - LA is rocking an insane offside trap. Cunningham and Jeereed Smeeth will spring it... Somehow.

31 - "Shank It Like" Gordon shanks it nowhere near net.

35 - Wynne takes a scoring opportunity away from LA as if he was reaching for a salt shakers : effortlessly.

38 - ex-TFC Edson Buddle magically fluffs the ball. Turns out he can't score in this ground no matter what shirt he wears.

39 - Cunningham puts a low shot right into the arms of Cronin

40 - Edu gets booked for a flaky challenge at best.

43 - in the crowds best impression of a fire drill, the stands empty out due to rain. Yes, I said rain. Toronto, Glasgow you're not...

45 - Jeereed Smeeth runs instead of shooting. Opportunity blown.

Halftime emotion : anemic.

46 - Dunnivant corner leads to a rising shot from Jeereed Smeeth that just goes over the bar.

48 - GOAL - Ricketts free kick ends on the head of new boy Julius James and sends it to the low left corner. Welcome to the 'B'. And all those suckers cowering from the rain missed it. Ha ha ha...

51 - Harmse gets booked for being the league bad-ass (no, we don't know why)

53 - Smeeth in another attempt of not shooting rolls the ball across the face of goal without a red shirt to convert.

55 - we've turned the boring 'TFC ole' into a chant for potato chips, as in 'Frito-Lay'

63 - GOAL - Cunningham bags his 98th career goal (not sure) and apparently i didn't have the brains to remember how.

65 - Cunningham has figured out how bad the Galaxy trap is and was one foot to the left off of his second goal in as many minutes.

71 - Ricketts rifles one off the woodwork.

74 - Jeereed Smeeth on a break just misses to the left of the net.

77 - Cunningham is ripped off by getting a judo toss to the ground (which totally would've been ippon) and no booking, no free kick

86 - SUB - Attanygora in for Jeereed Smeeth, though not willing enough to shoot, has had a solid game.

89 - Cunningham was offside. Again. Awful linesman. It should've been 7-0

90+1 - Galaxy have a free kick that's rifled off the wall. They really miss Golden Bollocks and Landycakes.

90+3 - Cunningham tries to chip the keeper but it goes just over the bar.

Man of the match : Cunningham. Easily.

Goat : Smeeth, SHOOOOOT!!!! (if i gotta pick something/someone)

Thumbs Up : we're functional without Dichio (hurt) Guevera and Robinson (international duty). Williams had to do just about nothing.

Thumbs Down : That system Gullit calls a trap.