THE SOUTH COUCH REPORT : Los Angeles v Toronto... or is THIS a streak?

I've been away on vacation but I've kept up with the trials and games of the Toronto "Football" "Club" (good thing the stadium is where it is).  That Portland thing sounded crazy.  And I did watch the Houston match at 2:00am in London (mostly because I snore really loud and the wife hadn't slept yet so I got up so she could sleep... where was I going with this...).  I was spoiled with some exciting footy and the English Championship is still more exciting than MLS.  My London ECL (English Championship League), Brentford, was awesome, even in a loss.  Great fun.  Recommend a visit to Ealing before the demo Griffin Park.  And visit the 4 pubs at each corner of the ground!

This is a streak isn't it?  I mean, it isn't the most ideal streak, but they've earned 7 from a possible 9 points over the last three games.  Doom, gloom, blah blah blah... I know.  It's played out.  Toronto is only a few bad results away from maintaining the status quo.  I think they can make the playoffs!  Who's with me?  Guys?... guys...

Whatever, Defoe is healthy and will cause a headache for the Los Angeles back four...

ICYMI - The Starting XI: Bendik, Creavalle, Caldwell, Hagglund, Morrow, Osorio, Bekker, Bradley, Lovitz, Moore, Oduro. #TFCLive
— Toronto FC (@torontofc) October 5, 2014

Ummm... OK.  That was anti-climactic with the whole superstar drama.  Certainly he'd be good for the bench?

Anyways, Los Angeles is crushing everything.  Their last loss was a month and a half ago.  So Toronto needs everyone to keep their shit together for 90+ minutes.  That's plausible enough but is it likely? I have $2 that's telling me 'oh yeah it is'.  We'll see.

On to the match...

12' - Juninho has a go from 20 yards out that loops over everyone and catches Bendik out a little too far, but the crossbar bails him out.

22' - GOAL - Zardes sends it on to Robbie Keane who slips it past a lunging Bendik.  Tragic.
BECKHAMS 1, ROBINS 0

25' - GOAL - Donovan to De La Garza to Keane who volleys this and holy crap it's gonna be like that tonight, isn't it?
BECKHAMS 2, ROBINS 0 

36' - American feed suggested that the conversation between Toledo and Bendik could be time wasting. THEY'RE DOWN BY TWO?  WHO WASTES TIME WHEN YOU'RE LOSING?  Stupid hacks. 

54' - If they gave goals for effort, Toronto would be down by 4.

59' - SUB - Lovitz off for Defoe.  I here he likes dealing in blood or something.  It's been a while, no.

66' - YELLOW - Osorio got booked.  So did Zardes, but I barely care for the bookings Toronto get.  Whatever.

68' - Did Oduro just play right back to deny Zardes?  Did Oduro ask for directions to go play that far back?  Well done sir!

74' - SUB - Moore makes way for DeRo


76' - No hat trick for Keane, as Bendik swatted it out of the air as the Irishman goes for the chip.  Well, no hat trick... yet.

79' - SUB - Bekker comes out for Warner

3 minutes of extra time

90+3' - GOAL - Alan Gordon gets the ball, takes two touches and launches from 20 yards out.  It's a bit of a screamer.  That's about right.
BECKHAMS 3, ROBINS 0 

Full Time : LOS ANGELES 3, TORONTO 0

Man of the Match : Nobody really.

Goat of the Game : Nobody really.

Ref Rating : 5 out of 5.  I know.  But nothing really happened.  Screw it, 3 out of 5 just for the PTSD he's caused.

In Case You PVR'd it : Fast forward to the 20th minute, watch until the end of the half then skip to injury time and you're good.

It's times like this, I feel that Gilberto won't be back.  I'm sure he'll be amazing in DC when he'll kill us repeatedly next season... Also, thanks MLS Live for the privilege to watch the paid for stream via a VPN.  Glad the decision to give you money was a poor one... When Morrow came off, the first instinct was to check the game stats feed to find out when he was substituted on, but the line-up tweet staggered me to find out he'd been playing all along... this Wild Beer company Indigo Child stout I bought in Bath is really sour and nasty.  If you see this and you're curious, just get anything else.  If you're really curious, get something you might like then add a shot of vinegar to it... It was such a strong PRO-LINE ticket. Man City won, Liverpool won.  How could Toronto losing go so wrong *eye roll*... That Vocal Minority Podcast has been decent the last few weeks.  I feel there's going to be rating spike next week as the principle writer of these match reports will be returning... The biggest difference noticed between the three matches I took in on my vacation and every TFC match was that the crowd was watching the match from start to finish and  nobody was straggling late getting 2 overpriced beers or filling their instagram accounts. Will miss that the most.

Player Ratings : Bendik 6, Creavalle 6, Caldwell 6.5, Hagglund 6, Morrow 5.5 [DeRo N/A], Osorio 6, Bekker 6 [Warner N/A], Bradley 6.5, Lovitz 6 [Defoe N/A], Moore 6.5, Oduro 7 (just for playing defense)

@ignirtoq is well rested from his vacation. He tried many ciders, and some were super "earthy" and gross. The only stout he had easy access to in pubs was Guinness and he's OK with that.

THE MATCHUP: #ThanksLandon

LOS ANGELES VS. TORONTO

STUBHUB CENTER - SATURDAY 10:30PM ET

TV: TSN 4

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:

"The Tonight Show in Bloody Carson"

Listen, every match is a "must-win" for TFC in October but no matter what happens on Saturday night/Sunday morning, The Reds will still be in the playoff chase on Monday. With that, we stop worrying about this potentially ugly fixture and instead thank the retiring LA Galaxy superstar Landon Donovan. No, not for the years of great service to MLS - but for this - our very favourite picture of any North American soccer star. God speed Landon... keep erotically sipping for the stars.

#ThanksLando

THE LONELY GARBER - An Away Day Guide to: Los Angeles Galaxy

The Artist Formerly Known as Home Depot Center 

 

As regular readers have come to know, The Yorkies is nothing if not a den of trusted, sober, hard-hitting journalistic integrity doubling as a destination where ground-breaking scholastic knowledge is shared amongst fellow intellectuals. Also: Gags about Collin Samuel's lunch.

 

Today we proudly bring you, the discerning Away Day supporter, the first in our off-season series "The Lonely Garber" - a highly factual-ish travel guide to some of Major League Soccer's most fabled destinations. Also: Columbus. Join us this off-season as we take you - the voyager that thirsts for new horizons, bold adventure and witnessing Toronto FC lose 3-0 away - across this rotund continent. The world is our oyster, let us shuck each other silly.

"The world is a book, those who do not travel read only one page." – St. Augustine

"Any place to get a nice bit of sausage sandwich 'round here?"

- The Yorkies

 

THE OPPONENT:

LOS ANGELES GALAXY

STUBHUB CENTRE - Carson, California

 

THE TOWN:

Nestled south of sprawling Metro Los Angeles lays the tranquil, fern-laden suburban expanse of Carson, California. This precocious burg was founded in 1978 and named after its inadvertent founding father, television personality Johnny Carson. Although Carson only visited the town once (accidentally passing through en route to Rancho Cucamonga) it was originally settled by guests who were bumped from "The Tonight Show" due to time constraints. Through disappointment over floundering careers and a car-service missing the back-flap of its L.A. road map, these pioneers/entertainment industry pariahs assembled to establish the mediocre town.

 

Modern-day Carson is a bustling satellite community with frequent transportation links to Los Angeles via limousines that are headed to work in Hollywood, the hitchhiker-sharing service ZipperCar and joy-riding dudes on fake "CHiPs" motorcycles. Local industry has grown incrementally but Carson is now a major hub for cue card technology, the laugh track sciences and Botox syringe disposal. The vain yet friendly local population is made up of an eclectic mixture of confused stuntmen, celebrity chimpanzees and hookers with hearts of gold.

Carson boasts many fine cultural and entertainment destinations to indulge in, both pre and post-match. Sites on every itinerary should include the grand seat of local government The Arsenio City Hall; the lush natural oasis of The Whitaker Forest - made up entirely of artificial houseplants from former talk show sets; the haunting museum dedicated to Quantum Leap Sciences - The Hall of Bakulas; and, of course, no visit to this mostly acceptable town is complete without sampling the fine musical stylings of The Doc Severinsen Philharmonic Orchestra now housed in local gymnasium - The Bruce Arena.
 

The Original Carson

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Los Angeles... or Aaaaaaah, finally no dome, no turf

I know, this needs to be updated.  Hopefully they'll sign someone equally rediculous to make it easier on me.

Springtime in Toronto.  Is it here?  To be fair, it's not important as long as it FEELS like spring by kick-off and maintains its springness until the final whistle.  If mother nature wants to do a heel-turn and make a blizzard by 4:30, so be it.

The circus-free Galaxy have gone 2-0-1 early in the season with Mike "Who" Magee leading the league in goals with 4.  It feels cheap for me to review the stats and standings after 3 matches.  Only by match 10 will we know how grim things truly are.

After the whuppin' by Montreal (and lets be fair, aside from a 30 minute display where they looked great, there was not much to celebrate), the respite gives them more time to tweak and tinker. Plenty to be optimistic about.

Starting XI

Bendik

Russell - O'Dea - Califf - Eckersley

Bostock - Dunfield - Hall - Lambe

Ephraim - Earnshaw

16' - GOAL - A very pretty pass carving the back four finds Magee who taps one past Bendik for his fifth of the campaign.
ROBINS 0 - BECKHAMS 1

21' - Magee is already sniffing for a second as he gets his head on a well floated cross, but Bendik makes a fantastic save from no more than 3 yards out.

29' - GOAL - Los Angeles completely mishandles a pass to one of their defenders allowing Earnshaw to poke at it.  Cudicini charges out to race for the ball, but Robbie gets to it first, pushes it past the keeper and then floats one in from 20 yards out.  Spectacular!
ROBINS 1 - BECKHAMS 1

36' - Bostock cross pitch to Lambe who gets into the penalty area and has a go only to bury it into the side netting.  Close...

Quote of the match:

Do these guys even practice?

~ my brother at his first TFC game
regarding the home side's midfield

Half-Time Mood : Still optimistic.  At this point, we've realized that every goal scored this season has been the direct (or indirect) result of a counter attack.  Indirect due to the penalties.  So we're like a mediocre Manchester United. Editor's note: Don't forget to have a go at him in the comments, you know you want to.

52' - YELLOW - Califf goes into the box for looking a little bit too much like the lead singer from Reel Big Fish. (sue me, I love ska...)

55' - Lambe delivered a cross which found Bostock's head and popped it back into the path of Earnshaw but Cudicini caught it.  Fun stuff.

62' - Landon Donovan first touch from a through ball and his shot is right at Bendik.

64' - SUB - Dunfield comes off for Osorio.  This substitution would've taken place closer to the 80th minute, if this were year 3.

69' - O'Dea misses an opportunity at becoming a league wide legend by NOT pummelling Donovan after a two-handed shove. Because Landycakes is the teacher's league's pet, no card.

72' - SUB - Ephraim comes off for Silva

78' - GOAL - a floated pass towards Earnshaw has him one-foot donkey kick it to Silva who then stepovers and stepovers and then lays off to Osorio who slots a slow ball into the far netting catching Cudicini way off his line.  Brilliant!
ROBINS 2 - BECKHAMS 1

89' - Looks like Agbossoumonde is about to come on but play continues until...

3 minutes of extra time

90+1' - GOAL - SONOVABITCH!  Russell collects a cross the Toronto penalty area and heads it back into the middle where Villareal scissor kicks it past a helpless Bendik from 8 yards out.
ROBINS 2 - BECKHAMS 2

90+3' - Bostock successfully battles his way into a corner kick scenario.  Ensuing kick is headed away and there goes the whistle...

Full Time : Toronto 2, Los Angeles 2

Man of the Match : It's tough as Earnshaw was a terror, and O'Dea was very good, but Bendik was the difference between a draw and a blow out.

Goat of the Game : Though Dunfield's presence was minimal and ineffective, Hall's presence was greater and even more ineffective.

Ref Rating : 3 out of 5.  There weren't many blown calls, but blown opportunities to show cards.

I'm Not The Gaffer But... : Russell looked more like a stopgap defender than someone who plays there naturally.  If he's a winger, I move him to his natural wing side (which appears to be the right), Ecks on his regular right side, I move Bostock to central attacking midfield and let him play the diagonals much like DeRo does, and leave Dunfield as a centre mid, 4-3-1-2 style.

Hall doesn't impress me, but at least Nelsen was willing to make changes earlier by swapping Dunfield.  If there's a winning combination of central mids, keep tinkering, but Hall/Dunfield should not be the default.  Hopefully Osorio made a strong case for himself.

Lambe definitely stepped up his game.  He was taking chances, playing aggressively but was far from perfect, but certainly improved.  Perhaps he sees the writing on the wall but if that's what gets him to play better, find bigger walls to write on as it worked.  I thought I was crazy but @kzknowles saw it too so either we're both batshit insane or correct.

The top of section 117 is a joy.  Our new home is quiet, Tribal Rhythm Nation notwithstanding.  We could barely hear the antiquated Dichio chants.  To our friends in 113, stay strong and migrate when you can.

Player ratings : Bendik 7.5, Russell 6, O'Dea 7, Califf 6.5, Eckersley 6, Bostock 6, Dunfield 5.5 [Osorio 7], Hall 5.5, Lambe 6.5, Ephraim 6 [Silva N/A], Earnshaw 7

@ignirtoq was once a manager in an adult money league. The side was terrible and the money man of the side insisted that his THIRTEEN YEAR OLD pudgy son was the LONE STRIKER.  Needless to say we didn't score too many goals.  Otherwise, he's not half bad at FIFA13

THE MATCHUP: The stage is set

It's mostly cardboard



TORONTO VS. LOS ANGELES

BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 2PM
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Three weeks after playing at the "Dome where ankles fear to tread", TFC finally hosts its true home opener on the grounds of MGM Presents: Exhibition Place & Casino" (Pending). With MLS now adopting the earlier start schedule, this may be our "new normal" but it will be good to be back at "our house" rather than living out of a football-suitcase.
　
What better way to christen BMO Field for 2013 than with MLS Cup Winners LA Galaxy. It is the official soccer stadium of "Hollywood North" anyways right? Despite the departure of international man-knicker peddler David Beckham, Galaxy are still a very strong side and will likely have a host of new DP's lined up very soon. The crowd may still be littered with screaming ladies who don't realize Becks is en Francais now but hey - they weren't going to come to see the set of Toronto-shot blockbuster Johnny Mnemonic were they?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Hollywood Norther"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Robert Earnshaw, Stefan Frei, Luis Silva
LOS ANGELES: Carlo Cudicini, Omar Gonzalez, Robbie Keane
　
THE ODDS:
The following sequels to Toronto-shot films being made:
- "Booty Call 2: Agbootymonde": 10-1
- "American Psycho III: Jacob Peterson's Business Card": 100-1
- "Harold & Kumar Go To the Playoffs": 1000-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Toronto is one of the busiest film and television production locales outside of Los Angeles and boasts the largest studio space apart from Hollywood. This fact wasn't lost on new TFC head coach Ryan Nelsen whose secret reason for rushing into management at Toronto is his desire to break into local film. The New Zealander has been working on a script for years now and it is a sequel to a film originally shot in Toronto. Nelsen's "Police Academy 8: Kiwis On Patrol" sees Mahoney, Jones, Hightower and the gang head to New Zealand to put a stop to an international sheep trafficking ring that is plaguing their city. Hilarity ensues.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE:
"NELSEN'S CADETS BUMBLE"

THE STARTING 11: Lesser-known impacts of David Beckham's time in Major League Soccer

Long Live Love David Beckham!



In 2007, a monumental arrival impacted Major League Soccer in ways previously thought impossible. It happened though... an expansion team who wouldn't make the playoffs for six years and counting. Also... David Beckham went to Los Angeles. Yes, FIFA's leading hairstyle innovator (1995-2007) indeed joined Galaxy from Real Madrid in a faux-messianic quest to "bring the soccer to the America". Only the petty out there will deny that Beckham's six seasons in MLS had a positive effect on the footballing landscape of North America but not everything he accomplished was caught on film...
　
11. Single-handedly caused "The Great Californian Tattoo Ink Crisis" of 2007
　
10. "Nasal Cockney" now a recognized second-language in many suburban Los Angeles high schools
　
9. Well coiffured presence in the line-up made Landon Donovan look downright macho
　
8. Created a 15% spike in Southern California newborns named "Home Depot"
　
7. His arrival opened a floodgate of other high-profile European footballers like... um... Teemu Tainio?
　
6. MLS Cup will forever give off a subtle dose of "Homme by David Beckham" cologne every time it is lifted
　
5. Thankfully persuaded Don Garber to give up on his dreams of a faux-hawk
　
4. Personally organized the loan of Chad Barrett to Norwegian league - to improve LA Galaxy's goalscoring
　
3. Helped wean middle-aged women off of "Twilight" and "50 Shades of Grey" for 90 minutes at a time
　
2. Todd Dunivant totally into super skinny jeans now
　
1. Coined the pop culture term "Brucearenasexual"

AFTER 90: Hollywood Walk of Shame

"How many 'E's in Wiedeman?"



LOS ANGELES VS. TORONTO

FIRST HALF:

1' - Biggest news as the match gets under way is that Mr. Non-Olympia David Beckham will miss the match with a torn boxer-brief/ Royal Garden Party to attend

3' - Ashtone Morgan is apparently a midfielder now. So there's that.

7' - Robbie Keane an early pest to TFC's backline

9' - Freddy Hall with a fingertip save to force a corner. Stretchy.

11' - GOAL: Los Angeles - Juninho curls a free kick over a very out of position Freddy Hall.

LOS ANGELES 1 - TORONTO 0

20'- Darren O'Dea and Robbie Keane are duelling. This is what it sounds like, when doves cry... in Dublin.

24' - Galaxy's Swedish newcomer Christian Wilhelmsson is all kinds of good. Like IKEA meatball dinner good.

33' - GOAL: Los Angeles - TFC doesn't come close to shutting down Juninho who blasts a screamer from long distance.

LOS ANGELES 2 - TORONTO 0

36' - GOAL: Los Angeles - One professional team vs. a bunch of strangers as Robbie Keane playground chips a goal over Freddy Hall. Ridiculous.

LOS ANGELES 3 - TORONTO 0

38' - GOAL: Toronto - Bizzarro World as Terry Dunfield heads one home via a Galaxy defensive deflection. Shocking if this is the last goal of the evening.

LOS ANGELES 3 - TORONTO 1

44' - Even Eastern European gamblers have turned this one off.

HALFTIME: LOS ANGELES 3 - TORONTO 1

SECOND HALF:

45' - SUB: Quincy Amarikwa on for Richard Eckersley

49' - It's night time in the Netherlands and Aron Winter is snuggled under his big orange duvet and giggling in his sleep. We're here.

52' - Freddy Hall with a great fingertip save. He's capable... when he isn't woefully out of position or allowing big gooey loose rebounds.

60' - SUB: Eric Avila on for Andrew Wiedeman

61' - So the rumours were not true. Eric Avila wasn't in Witness Relocation

64' - This scoreline changes nothing - Bruce Arena still looks like Huckleberry Hound and Droopy's love child.

69' - SUB: Reggie Lambe on for Logan Emory

70'- A night of wacky position-switching subs. Position-posmition... Participaction Medals all round boys!

76' - Freddy Hall a very busy hand-flapping Bermudian as Galaxy attack in waves

80' - David Beckham's giant silver underwear statue of himself at the Eaton Centre could have had an effective game against this TFC midfield

84' - YELLOW CARD: Ashtone Morgan

85' - GOAL: Toronto - Luis Silva with a wacky floater from some hard work. Makes for a terribly flattering scoreline.

LOS ANGELES 3 - TORONTO 2

90'+ - GOAL: Los Angeles - Well that makes it look a bit more fair as Robbie Keane plays through Ashtone Morgan and finishes beautifully. That goal was his boyhood dream for those keeping score of Robbie's boyhood faves.

FULL TIME: LOS ANGELES 4 - TORONTO 2

PLAYER RATINGS: Freddy Hall 5 / Jeremy Hall 4.5 / Richard Eckersley 5 (Quincy Amarikwa 4) / Darren O'Dea 5.5 / Logan Emory 5 (Reggie Lambe 4.5) / Andrew Wiedeman 4.5 (Eric Avila 4) / Aaron Maund 5 / Terry Dunfield 6 / Ashtone Morgan 4 / Luis Silva 6.5 / Ryan Johnson 5

THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Luis Silva

THE BATH:

It sounds blasphemous in a way but it was almost a relief when Robbie Keane scored the fourth goal. Somehow TFC managed to find two goals in them despite playing incredibly poorly from start to finish. The two goals were both completely against the run of play yet at 3-2 there was the fear that some perverse apologists inside the club would gloss over the performance and say "see, not so far away! Promise!" Wrong.

As the 2012 season mercifully winds down, it is more than obvious, even to the most optimistic of TFC supporters, that they are not "close". Nowhere near in fact. Aside from Darren O'Dea and Luis Silva - there are few pieces that you would want to build around and that kind of overhaul is a major re-build - not a tinkering. No matter how things are spun. Promise.



THE MATCHUP: A Galaxy so long ago

"IT'S A TRAP!!!"



LOS ANGELES VS. TORONTO
　
HOME DEPOT CENTER - SATURDAY 10:30PM ET
TV: TSN ----RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Oh Admiral Ackbar, our AquoSapien pal, you couldn't have exclaimed it better. Who knew back in March, when LA Galaxy visited SkyDome, that our "New Hope" for 2012 was nothing but "A TRAP!" to our emotions? Many Reds' supporters had great optimism for the year ahead on that exciting night. However, as the season peters out and we face LA once again, that hopeful night seems light years away.
　
After the scrappy and rebellious Reds blew up Galaxy's plans to rule the CONCACAF universe back in spring, it seemed like the two clubs were going in different directions. But, as we now know things have all gone very Empire Strikes Back for Los Angeles - currently 3rd in the West; while it has been all Attack of the Clones for TFC: a long, disappointing affair which has alienated the most devoted of fans.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Admiral Ackbar Testimonial"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
LOS ANGELES: David Beckham, Landon Donovan, Robbie Keane
TORONTO: Reggie Lambe, Darren O'Dea, Luis Silva
　
THE ODDS:
- TFC signing a new DP... who loses his hand to a laser injury: 2-1
- Paul Mariner spinning around in his chair and dramatically yelling "PLAY THE TRAP!": 5-1
- The Reds offence referred to as a "Phantom Menace": 10-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
It's late season silliness but if you don't see the comparisons between TFC and Star Wars then "stay on target" with these Porkins...
BMO FIELD = THE UNINHABITED FROZEN PLANET OF HOTH
TOM ANSELMI = THE EMPEROR
DEFENSIVE LINE = INJURED EWOKS
CLUB ESCOBAR = THE MOS EISLEY CANTINA
SIX SEASONS = THE FIRST THREE WERE FUN, THE LAST THREE WERE JUST PLAIN AWFUL
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "AND I THOUGHT TFC SMELLED BAD............................................................................................................................................................................................................ ON THE OUTSIDE"
　
And... Since it's Friday and our TFC Family is as dysfunctional as any family, here's a show to help us through it. Hosted by your favourite Mon Calamari!

AFTER 90: A Hollywood ending

You can't spell Hollywood without "Soolsma"



THE BUZZ:
A tiny Home Depot Center crowd, an apparently "fatigued" Galaxy playing their first team... again, and a Toronto FC squad who have pulled off the odd cup miracle. Could the Hollywood stars have aligned for The Reds tonight? Not so fast... Los Angeles are still the cream of the MLS crop and TFC needs a top-notch performance to head to the semi-finals where Santos Laguna awaits tonight’s winner.
　
FIRST HALF:
20' - YELLOW CARD: Richard Eckersley
33' - GOAL: Toronto - Ryan Johnson
LOS ANGELES 0 - TORONTO 1
　
FIRST HALF HIGHLIGHT: The absolute smash-and-grab goal
FIRST HALF LOWLIGHT: Watching TFC's very high line tested
　
HALFTIME: LOS ANGELES 0 - TORONTO 1
　
SECOND HALF:
45' - SUB: Terry Dunfield on for Joao Plata
55' - GOAL: Los Angeles - Ty Harden (OG)
LOS ANGELES 1 - TORONTO 1
62' - YELLOW CARD: Miguel Aceval
63' - SUB: Luis Silva on for Julian de Guzman
66' - GOAL: Toronto - Nick Soolsma
LOS ANGELES 1 - TORONTO 2
69' - SUB: Aaron Maund on for Danny Koevermans
90'+ - YELLOW CARD: Torsten Frings
　
SECOND HALF HIGHLIGHT: Nick Soolsma thrilling his cat and TFC supporters alike
SECOND HALF LOWLIGHT: Ty Harden as the catalyst of turtling
　
FULL TIME: LOS ANGELES 1 - TORONTO 2
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Milos Kocic 8 / Richard Eckersley 6.5 / Miguel Aceval 6 / Ty Harden 5 / Ashtone Morgan 6.5 / Torsten Frings 6.5 / Nick Soolsma 7 / Julian de Guzman 5.5 (Luis Silva 6 ) / Joao Plata 6 (Terry Dunfield 5.5 ) / Danny Koevermans 5 (Aaron Maund 6 ) / Ryan Johnson 8
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Milos Kocic
　
THE MOOD:
Is "holy crap I'm gonna throw up" a mood? Against all of North America's odds, MLS' perennial underdog, Toronto FC, knocked the league's glamour club out of the Champions League. Workmanlike, unexpected and in the end, gutsy can describe TFC's performance tonight as they ground down a ropey Galaxy with two smash-and-grab goals. They didn't make it easy on themselves, falling into lapses of over-turtling at times and making some curious substitutions, but in hindsight, Aron Winter will look like he tactically outwitted Bruce Arena. Fabulous performances from Milos Kocic, Ryan Johnson and feline-friend Nick Soolsma propel Toronto FC forward as the only MLS club remaining in the Champions League - and making a little Canadian football history to boot. Could have only happened in Hollywood.

THE MATCHUP: Toronto FC tools up for Home Depot decider

90% of the Galaxy crowd arrive for the match

LOS ANGELES VS. TORONTO
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGE QUARTERFINAL - 2ND LEG
(AGGREGATE 2-2)
　
HOME DEPOT CENTER - WEDNESDAY 10:30PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
The atmosphere in the stands will be night and day from the 1st Leg of this CCL Quarterfinal but the competition on the pitch may very well surpass last week's tilt between Galaxy and TFC. Due to pre-existing restrictions by the neighbouring university campus, the attendance at the Home Depot Center is restricted to 7,500 maximum, taking away some of the advantage for Bruce Arena's team. With the fine weather, great pitch and quiet crowd, this is as close to a neutral site match as Toronto FC could have hoped for. Unfortunately the similarities likely end there.
　
Galaxy has committed themselves to winning the CONCACAF Champions League this year and there is little reason to believe they will rest on their laurels on Wednesday evening. The only technical advantage The Reds have over the talented Galaxy is rest. LA looked spent by the end of their Saturday league match against RSL which saw Bruce Arena play most of the same starting eleven he used last Wednesday. TFC meanwhile come in on seven days rest but regardless, have to play a better game than they did last week in a match where nothing less than a 3-3 draw sees them continue in this competition. There will be no room for more defensive miscues and the offence will likely need to be firing on all cylinders.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"Biggest Game Ever II: The Biggering"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
LOS ANGELES: David Beckham, Edson Buddle, Landon Donovan
TORONTO: Julian de Guzman, Torsten Frings, Ryan Johnson
　
THE ODDS:
- Plot to avenge the Beckham beer can incident failing as LA supporters forced to save distilled water bottle to help wash down prawn sandwiches: 2-1
- Galaxy managing to sign 4 new DP's before match: 8-1
- CONCACAF referees stopping play to get David Beckham's autograph: 10-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
As mentioned above, the tiny match crowd will be due to an agreement to cap attendance on school nights at the neighbouring campus of California State University - Dominguez Hills. (Go Toros!) While it may seem like an archaic policy for a pro club to have to deal with, it's not the first time Galaxy and the university have butted heads. CSU-DG put an end to Mike Magee's 2010 campaign to become Class Treasurer; refused to give accreditation for Landon Donovan's Learning Annex class "Intermediate Pouting and Whinging 101"; as well as banning "Chad Barrett's Charity Panty Raid for Kids Who Don't Read So Good" in spring of last year.
　POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "REDS WITHSTAND HAMMERING AT HOME DEPOT - DONOVAN STILL A TOOL"

THE STARTING 11: Things Los Angeles fans will throw at Toronto FC players

Would have been a more appropriate brand Toronto

Despite last Wednesday night's crowd at SkyDome creating a banner night for North American football, only one annoying aspect of the evening caught the world media's eye. Instead of 47,000 attending a CONCACAF Champions League match being the story, a foolishly tossed can of beer landing in the general vicinity of the world's most famous footballer grabbed headlines. Pictures of David Beckham giving Alexander Keith's some free advertising beamed around the world the next day and no doubt grabbed the attention of Los Angeles supporters. If the capped attendance at Home Depot Center does try to exact some tossed revenge against our Reds - what can we expect to shower upon The Reds on corners?

　
11. Ruthless fashion critiques
　
10. Their agent's number
　
9. Chad Barrett
　
8. Rolled up Victoria Beckham skinny jeans
　
7. Salmon sashimi... but not good salmon sashimi
　
6. A fully recyclable can of fair trade, carbon-neutral, microbrewed, 100-Mile certified, reforested-barrel-aged, Napa Valley vintage ale
　
5. Bizarre taunts about stealing Rick Moranis from us
　
4. Hurtful giggles about our lack of tan
　
3. A half-eaten Fois Gras Butty
　
2. 100% cashmere streamers
　
1. The deafening roar of 5,000 apathetic Californians

Honey, I Shrunk the Crowd

The 200 Level Report - Toronto FC v Los Angeles... or OMGCONCACAFWTF?!

Its a beautiful night here.  Not a cloud in the sky.

Seriously.

Its been 4 months since my last heartbreak... And a week after that when I fell in love all over again (Dallas 0, Toronto 3).  Then we waited. Good news flooded in. Plata is staying, Ecks signed, Suarez got his litter box changed.  Its been a slow burn, but now we're at the cusp of an inferno (Thanks to @philbot101 for his woven tapestry of language).

Toronto sent the kids in against the Vancouver starting XI and held them to a 1-0 loss in the final of the Mickey Mouse Cup, but things are certainly looking up.  Everything's gonna be alright! (Naughty By Nature was onto something...)

Onto the match!

3 - Frei makes a good save from a shot 20 yds out.  Beckham woos the ladies with a cross that does nothing *swoon*

7 - Johnson with a cute back heel to Ecks who makes a run.  Nothing there but an Ecks run is nice

12 - GOAL - corner from Frings, pinball, Ryan Johnson takes a half volley, buries it.  Eat it Landon.

TORONTO 1 - LOS ANGELES 0

18 - GOAL - Frings loops a soft ball into the box and its headed by newboy Luis Silva.  45,000 people proceed to lose. Their. Shit.

TORONTO 2 - LOS ANGELES 0

29 - GOAL - cross over top of Frei ends up at the foot of the unmarked McGee and he pots it.  Damn.

TORONTO 2 - LOS ANGELES 1

32 - The dome holds its breath for the outcome of a Becks free kick 25 yds dead centre.  Mass exhalation as its stopped by Frei.

45 - Becks goes for a 50 yd chip over Frei... Goes very well wide.

Half time mood - cautiously optimistic.

Got to meet @WakingtheRed of Waking The Red fame and @kzknowles of West Stand Girl notoriety.  Both lovely and received the amazing Yorkies Card Set (is it shilling if we aren't actually selling the cards? But I have some to give away...).  @theyorkies1812 wanted to come along but I ditched him without telling him. My bad.

56 - YELLOW - Saunders catches the ball and steps clearly over the line, no call.  Koevermans has a problem and tries to solve it.  Gets a yellow for it.

57 - SUB - Plata off for Lambe, tactical surely.

62 - this match has gone from entertaining to an aeronautics display as a paper airplane contest has broken out.  One landed on the edge of the box.

64 - Koevermans repeats the Beckham move.  Misses by feet instead of sections.

68 - OMFG... Johnson cross, Silva deflection, Koevermans can't control it to get a shot off as the keeper was out of position.  Heartbreaking.

70 - Frei bails out the pinball madness in front of him with sure hands.

71 - Convinced the 500 level thinks they're at a Jays game.  In addition to the paper planes, they're trying to start a wave.  I know it's a little boring but try and pay attention, will ya's. 

Quote of the Match

I built a boomerang!

~ Two rows down with a paper airplane fail that once released would loop and return to him

77 - Johnson with a nice low cross and Koevermans gets there too early and slides his wide of the net.

80 - YELLOW - Frei gets a booking for apparently being angry and not playing for the LA Beckhams.

** Crowd announced at 47,658.  Well done to TFC fans and to women who want to scream like an 11 yr old at Beckham **

88 - SUB - Barrett comes on.  Sometimes, just sometimes, we miss the hustle...

89 - GOAL - Donovan wins the pinball game in the box.  There goes the atmosphere... There goes the tie.

TORONTO 2 - LOS ANGELES 2

90 - SUB - Maund comes in, Silva off.  Good debut for Silva.

The fourth official indicates there will be 4 extra minutes of added time to help LA get more away goals

90 +1 - SUB - Dunfield off for Stinson... 30 mins too late

Full Time : Toronto FC 2, LA Beckhams 2

Man of the Match : Frings was first class tonight.

Goat of the Game : Ty Harden was in coach most of the match, possibly even where the baggage is stored or on a different plane altogether.

Ref Rating :  1 out of 5.  Seriously, how much can a ref be in a team's back pocket?  It was brutal watching LA players push Toronto guys around and not so much as a twitchy eye from the officials.  Too many people were star-gazing over Beckham, in fact 3 idiots in green too many.  This discount ref school that produces such jokes must be by correspondence... I would like a proper explanation as to why Frei was booked?

It was a trip to be at a meaningful match with that many people there.  Sure, there were dead spots but impressive.  If the acoustics were better, LA would've been taken out of the match.

Toronto operated with a careful tone, however with a modicum of pressure, results happened.  Two of them to be precise.  Once they were up, they took the foot off the gas as if that would be enough with a team of $13 million of talent (estimated) in DPs plus a dearth of talent that can ruin a perfectly good match.  And they were deservedly punished for that.  Once Toronto settled being up 2-0, LA took the discarded reigns and controlled the pace of the match to their liking.  Certainly Toronto's counter-attack will be a lovely added touch to a blossoming arsenal of weapons, but no matter how you try to spin it, LA is still the defending champions and they are not to be taken lightly.  Ever.

Though the call for the tie being 'wrapped up' due to the 2 away goals, there are a few iotas of hope. (1) LA will have a raucous crowd of 6000 due to exams at the university where the Home Depot Center is (never forget that the words Major League in Major League Soccer is merely a name, not a designation). (2) Toronto has a history of doing the rediculously unlikely away from home when there's something on the line (ask Dallas and Montreal about a comeback).

Johnson showed off his killer instinct and a goal from newcomer Silva leaves supporters to believe that Toronto's offensive woes may finally be coming to a close.

And I feel a small amount of guilt calling Kosic the new number 1.  Though he is good enough to be starting on any side in the league and be very good, Frei has proven to me that he is a bucket of awesome with a side of freshly made amazing.  Milan will certainly get his time, but it's all Frei now.

Player Ratings : Frei 7; Eckersley 7, Aceval 6.5, Harden 5.5, Morgan 7; Frings 7.5, Dunfield 6 [Stinson N/A], Silva 7 [Maund N/A]; Johnson 7, Koevermans 6.5, Plata 6 [Lambe 6]

THE MATCHUP: Raise the roof!

We built a house on Bremner Boulevard...



TORONTO VS. LOS ANGELES
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE QUARTERFINAL - 1ST LEG
　
SKYDOME - WEDNESDAY 8PM
TV: SPORTSNET (ALL REGIONS)
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Biggest. Match... oh you know the rest. It's the match that got us through winter. Arguably one of the biggest club football matches in Canadian history. Yes, it's "Davy Knickers and The Boyz" against our beloved Reds in front of approximately 45,000 people in The Artist Formerly Known as SkyDome.
　
The CONCACAF Quarterfinal marks only the second time a Canadian club has progressed this far in the continental competition. Playing what many would consider the most star-laden club in North America since The Cosmos of the 70's, makes it that much bigger. Most of North America, including Galaxy themselves, seems to have written off TFC before the first whistle but perhaps thousands of devoted fans, Astroturf and the phallic power of the CN Tower can produce an upset that would make MLS' promotions department weep.
　
What does TFC have to do? Play hard from the first minute - not take 20 minutes to warm-up. It would be surprising if Galaxy don't try to strike early to take out the crowd so The Reds need to be on their toes immediately. Aron Winter's squad need to channel that crowd energy and fight off the nerves as well as take the game to Galaxy. Bruce Arena's team has too much firepower to sit back and try to weather the storm. They need to be brave, not hide Torsten Frings into oblivion as Ty Harden's babysitter and take their game to LA... win, lose or draw.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "Biggest 1st Leg Ever"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Stefan Frei, Torsten Frings, Danny Koevermans
LOS ANGELES: David Beckham, Landon Donovan, Robbie Keane
　
THE ODDS:
- Every, single Galaxy tactic aimed directly at Ty Harden: EVENS
- Chad Barrett cramping on Galaxy bench: 3-1
- Joe Carter scoring winning PK for TFC in extra time: 50-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
The star-filled Galaxy is easily MLS' most talented club on paper. While their ability to constantly sign stars above and beyond their DP limit is curious to some, many justify it with good financial management and the appeal of California. Vociferous defenders will yell "ALLOCATION!" and "WAIT FOR THE UNION SALARY LIST" in response while painting those who question it as bitter conspiracy theorists. Of course league documents could never be questioned could they? In response to the questioning, Galaxy has laid out their next few signings in a transparent way:
 - ALESSANDRO DEL PIERO: $40,000 and all-you-can-eat coupon to all Southern California Olive Garden restaurants 
 - RONALDINHO: $37,000 and an orthodontist
 - FRANK LAMPARD: Get Andre Villas Boas fired then $43,000 and a meat pie goal bonus
　
TOMORROW'S HEADLINE: "CHAD BARRETT TAKES SHOT ON GOAL - DOZENS INJURED ON 500 LEVEL"

LETTERS FROM CAMP: "My God, they're full of stars!"

"You are just on loan Dave..."



A SALARY CAP FAR, FAR AWAY?
In the most uneventful (in a good way) pre-season of Toronto FC's history, we can't help but gaze into the distance at our next meaningful opponent, LA Galaxy. In one of the shrewdest moves in MLS governance, Galaxy persuaded the league to allow them to use Mexican Pesos as their salary cap currency. This has to be the explanation for a club that already boasted David Beckham, Landon Donovan and Robbie Keane but has remarkably added Edson Buddle, Sao Paulo defender Leonardo and extended the loan of midfielder Juninho in the last fortnight. If the peso-policy isn't real, then you'd almost have to believe that MLS wants LA to be a "superclub" and face fellow giant Seattle in the CCL Semi Final on their march to the FIFA Club World Cup. But that thinking would be crazy right? Yes. Crazy. After all... there's "proof" out there!
　
Sadly for LA Galaxy's accountants, their fans can't join in on the excitement yet. The club had to cap attendance at the CCL QF 2nd Leg against TFC at 7500. In their defence, the average mid-March temperature in Los Angeles is a chilly 19 degrees Celsius. Brrr. That is far too cold to enjoy a prawn sandwich.
　
CUP RUNNETH IS OVER
While the details of who is available for TFC in the CCL QF seem to be ever-changing, CONCACAF has made it clear that Eric Avila and Jeremy Hall cannot be selected. Both players were included in other CCL squads in the current Champions League season which leaves them cup-tied. There is an appeal process for TFC to lobby CONCACAF but those two players seem to be no-go's. Avila's absence will be felt the most but does give rookie Luis Silva a shot at early SkyDome stardom.
　
HIT DUN-FIELD RUNNING
Terry Dunfield reveals that he had successful surgery on a nagging hernia problem this off-season. The Canadian international claims to be nearing 100% after the December operation in Germany and is raring to go in 2012. The groin tear was suffered while still with Vancouver last season which could explain why Dunfield's TFC appearances could be described as "sparing" at best. Even if fully fit, it may be hard for the affable Canuck to crack the Starting 11 regularly with a lot of competition this year in the middle of the pitch.

LETTERS FROM CAMP: "You complete me"

"I have a squad thiiiiiiis big"



FILLING HOLES, FEELING WHOLE
Isn't it refreshing to hear Aron Winter and his troops talk about how the club is "almost complete"? Barely a week in to training camp and the club's depth charts are nearly full. With the most recent acquisition completed, Chilean defender Miguel Aceval, the biggest hole of the off-season - the defence - has pretty much been taken care of. There are a few tweaks to tinker with but for the first time in TFC history, fans have an idea of the club's make-up by February 1st. It wasn't too long ago that the only thing Groundhog Day brought to TFC was an influx of washed up trialists, the likes of Kiki Musampa, Ibrahim Said and Brian Kerr.
　
ONLY 4 SPOTS LEFT - ACT NOW!
Word through Kurt Larson's excellent TFC coverage today that both First Round SuperDraft picks, Luis Silva and Aaron Maund, are officially under contract to the club now. With their official inclusion, the club's first team squad boasts 26 players leaving 4 spots left to contest before the season. With reports that Luis Silva is learning the ropes quickly at TFC, the crop of youngsters is currently quite bright and the remaining spots will also likely be taken by youth projects with Stefan Vukovic, Efrain Burgos Jr. and Mike Mazzullo making early impressions.
　
ANOTHER BUDDLE OF TICKETS
With demand being steady for the CCL QF at SkyDome, TFC was set to release a further 1,000 seats for public sale. With the match still more than a month away, more than 40K in attendance seems likely. Unfortunately, one player that the throng will be welcoming back is brief ex-Red Edson Buddle who is reportedly returning to LA Galaxy today. When last seen in MLS, Buddle was lighting it up before taking a sojourn in the German second division. When asked how this affects Galaxy's salary cap - giggling was heard at MLS Head Office.
　
In other giggling/ticket news... our "friends" on the eastern end of the 401 aren't having as much luck selling seats. Montreal Impact owner/provolone magnate Joey Saputo was bemoaning the club's inability to sell more than 7,000 season tickets so far. This is really going nowhere... just more of a laugh for Reds' supporters. And a chance to write "provolone".

THE STARTING 11: Extra reasons why SkyDome makes a good CCL venue

The halftime show will be spectacular!



"50,000 fans". This was the mantra repeated ad nauseam during TFC's Dutch Breakfast Extravaganza on Friday regarding the CCL Quarterfinal at SkyDome. There is a great expectation from the club's owners as well as many supporters that the fixture versus LA Galaxy will equal, if not eclipse, Montreal's memorable CCL Big O filler of a few years back. With reasonable pricing and the possibility of midfield lothario/snug boxerbrief aficionado David Beckham appearing, there are many reasons already to buy your tickets by the bushel. However, if you need some last-minute coaxing before ordering your ducats - would you really want to miss memorable SkyDomesque moments like these?
　
11. A cramped Chad Barrett being removed from the field in the back of the Monster Truck "Grave Digger"
　
10. Argos fans milling about downtown failing to see the irony of Toronto FC playing in their stadium
　
9. Tom Henke subbed in for The Reds in the 80th minute to help close off the match
　
8. If Galaxy gets an early lead - the roof "accidentally" opening to the harsh winter elements during halftime
　
7. Ty Harden constantly getting distracted when dribbling the ball over the actual place where Ultimate Warrior beat Hulk Hogan for the Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania VI
　
6. Expensive chip buttys being made from 100% public funding
　
5. Soccer moms holding silent prayer vigil circle that David Beckham's kit is "retractable"
　
4. World records shattered as streamers reach field from 500 Level
　
3. Bitchy the Hawk hunting - then removing googly eyes - of SkyDome mascot Domer the Turtle
　
2. Joe Carter winning the match with 90th minute penalty kick
　
1. Mo Johnston being spotted nude in SkyDome Hotel window

THE STARTING 11: Other Beckham effects

Jeez, get a room



There are still a few negative types out there in North American football who claim that David Beckham's five-year affair with Major League Soccer was a failure. Long before he raised the MLS Cup last night - this simply wasn't the case. Did he play his best football with LA Galaxy, far from it. But, is the league a markedly stronger one as his star fades from Carson, California? Definitely. While Goldenballs brought many very visible positives to MLS' image, not everything about his time on our continent made headlines...
　
11. Sexy silhouette of Bruce Arena added to his tattoo collection
　
10. Helped heal broken Los Angeles sports fan's hearts after the departure of Luc Robitaille
　
9. Resisted temptation to name baby girl "Homedepotcenter"
　
8. Turned down opportunity to buy MLS club New England after name change to "David Beckham's Revolution Pour Homme" was rejected
　
7. Galaxy's training gear long replaced by exotic matching sarongs
　
6. Whenever Man United visits the USA, Sir Alex Ferguson invited to drop by and throw hairdryer at Landon Donovan
　
5. Victoria always allowed to spray her fragrance over Columbus before away matches to Crew
　
4. Got Chad Barrett to believe in himself as "The Wayne Rooney of the southern Los Angeles suburban regions"
　
3. Successfully blocked California adult film producers from releasing XXX video "Boned It Like Beckham"
　
2. L.A. street gangs have replaced coloured bandanas with thin, European headbands
　
1. Totally got Don Garber into skinny jeans

Galaxy not far, far away

Keane: Will appear pending wife's approval



While the Los Angeles Galaxy will have their sights set squarely on the MLS Cup Final in a couple of weeks, TFC are more concerned with their following fixture. This afternoon, somewhere in the lilywhite, corruption-free bowels of CONCACAF's New York headquarters, the draw for the Champions League Quarterfinals was made and The Reds will indeed face their MLS counterparts Galaxy.
　
There are a few ways at looking at the draw from a Toronto perspective. On the negative side, LA doesn't offer that "special" continental attraction of a team from outside our league. Besides familiarity, there is also the argument that LA could be considered MLS' strongest side right now - if they don't win the MLS Cup, it will be an upset.
　
On the other side of the peso, Galaxy are on a relatively fair playing field with TFC and do not come with the overall skill level that Santos Laguna and/or Monterrey may have offered. Also, early March (when the fixtures take place) will be during the MLS pre-season and Galaxy, along with TFC, will not be in mid-season form while likely bleeding in new faces. The advantage may go to the club who does a better job of preparing themselves during the off-season.
　
Whether Galaxy provides the "big name" opponent that MLSE may have hoped for if they choose SkyDome over BMO Field is another question. While LA will still boast the likes of Robbie Keane, Landon Donovan and cough, cough, Chad Barrett - they will probably be without David Beckham who looks most likely to join Paris St. Germain or Tottenham Hotspur in January. Not likely a draw that will put 50K into SkyDome unless MLSE drops ticket prices to $10 (we hear you laughing) but much more importantly, a draw that gives TFC a fighting chance to progress to the semifinals against the Seattle v Santos Laguna winner. We'll take an away leg to Carson, California over Mexico any day.

Dasan Robinson - The new Rick Titus

That means you Ty Harden



The seemingly never-ending transfer/ roster freeze/ trade/ beaver pelt barter system that is MLS player transactions finally came to a close today... we think. Either way, it gave Toronto FC a chance to do one last little piece of business - a seemingly straightforward defender-for-defender swap which sees Dasan Robinson, who was apparently a member of TFC, go to Los Angeles Galaxy for Kyle Davies.
　
22-year old Davies was a hot prospect in the US youth ranks who started his professional football life toiling in Southampton's reserve set-up. After failing to crack the line-up for the English Championship side, Davies joined MLS and has bounced from Real Salt Lake to FC Dallas (where he made his only 14 MLS appearances) and then on to Galaxy. The former captain of the USA U-20 team, Davies is still young and raw enough that The Reds may believe he can be groomed to help their decrepit defensive corps. Not corpse, smartass.
　
As for Dasan Robinson... we hardly knew ya! The player whose TFC claim to fame will always be as the man who allowed Dan Gargan be traded instead of waived, only ran onto the pitch once in anger for The Reds. Apparently dogged by injury and/or not a good fit with Aron Winter, the reportedly affable and team-oriented Illinois native will be an odd footnote on the 2011 highlight DVD. As it will only be a four-an-a-half minute DVD - you may need to pause it to catch him.

AFTER 90: Shock Hollywood ending

"Heeeere's Alan!"



IN THE TUNNEL:
Could a rag-tag Toronto FC line-up shock LA Galaxy in the same way that Panama had just shocked USA at the Gold Cup? Or, would they be as impotent as Canada was against 10-man Guadeloupe? Seriously, it's not even a country! 1st versus nearly worst in Hollywood...
　
ON THE PITCH:
1' - Shock of shocks, a beautiful sunny night in the LA suburbs as Galaxy takes to the pitch with the likes of Angel and Beckham. We have Dan Gargan. This one could get fugly. Kick-off..
Note: For anyone who missed the pre-match rendition of the Canadian national anthem tonight - do whatever you have to do and find it online. Wow.
2' - GOAL: Remember when I said fugly? Chris Birchall left alone and eats the mish-mash TFC defence alive.
LOS ANGELES 1 - TORONTO FC 0
10' - Galaxy MF Miguel Lopez beats Stefan Frei but not the post.
15' - Despite Galaxy looking like they can score at will. Reds don't look awful going forward - just no finishers... for the last 5 years.
16' - YELLOW CARD: Danleigh Borman for a sloppy tackle/ shirt-pull combo #5
22' - Galaxy are in shooting gallery mode
29' - David Beckham does a very un-metrosexual thing and puts an ugly tackle on Tony Tchani who goes down and stays down for a long time. Tchani tries to run it off but can't continue... SUB: Joao Plata in for the injured Cameroonian
38' - (Same old) Chad Barrett (still not scoring) drives his mongo elbow into Joao Plata's face busting the wee man's cheek. Child abuse
42' - SUB: The Reds continue to drop like flies as Jacob Peterson re-aggravates his hamstring. Alan "Yankee Dichio" Gordon his replacement
44' - Silly puns aside - Beckham's touches are still silly good
　
HALFTIME: LOS ANGELES 1 - TORONTO 0
　
48' - Gordon is setting an aggressive early tone crashing heavily with Galaxy keeper Josh Saunders
52' - It is announced that Galaxy have just broken their all-time shutout minutes streak. In Hollywood that's called foreshadowing
56' - Academy grad Doneil Henry's marking duties switch between Juan Pablo Angel and Beckham. Welcome to 1st Team football
59' - TFC dominating play with numerous chances - the best a sharp volley from Mikael Yourassowsky which forces a save
65' - Galaxy's offence completely being carried by the ageless Angel
67' - GOAL: "Yankee Dichio" Alan Gordon puts his shaggy head on a phenomenal long aerial pass off the foot of Danleigh Borman
LOS ANGELES 1 - TORONTO 1
68' - Chad Barrett's stupid haircut crashes hard into Stefan Frei giving The Goalblerone a gashed ankle. As if The Chad wasn't useless enough to TFC
69' - End to end stuff as Maicon Santos clangs a long range effort off the crossbar
72' - Beckham apparently gets 5 pre-warnings before next Yellow Card
80' - YELLOW CARD: Alan Gordon going for The Dichio Special
84' - Angel with a 20 yard blast that forces Frei to make a big stop
87' - Nathan Sturgis has been bombing quality free kicks into Galaxy's area all-night. Cough... de Guzman... cough
90' - GOAL: Perennial TFC killer Juan Pablo Angel tops off a great night with a vicious blast that Frei had no chance on
LOS ANGELES 2 - TORONTO 1
90'+ SUB: Javier Martina goes Double-Dutch for Nick Soolsma
90'+ GOAL: In Hollywood comeback script style, ex-Galaxy forward Alan Gordon cracks a great first-time volley past Saunders in the dying seconds of extra-time. Magical stuff
LOS ANGELES 2 - TORONTO 2
　
FULL TIME: LOS ANGELES 2 - TORONTO 2
　
IN THE BATHS:
Who knew that journeyman forward Alan Gordon, picked up for Nick LaBrocca in pre-season, would become the closest thing TFC has had to a Danny Dichio-type presence since the "legend" retired? Gordon who has been off on an extended injury absence changed the shape and style of TFC going forward and dragged the club to a draw tonight in his old stomping grounds. In addition, positive play from Yourassowsky and Eckersley helped The Reds actually look very competent and creative going forward - quite a surprise considering the threadbare line-up. Mounting injuries will be a concern this week but for tonight, a rare moral victory for Toronto against a team whose DP's showed why they get the big bucks.
　
Oh, and Chad Barrett still can't score anywhere near a TFC kit.
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Stefan Frei 7 / Richard Eckersley 7 / Doneil Henry 6.5 / Ty Harden 6 / Danleigh Borman 7 / Jacob Peterson INJ (Alan Gordon 8) / Nathan Sturgis 6.5 / Tony Tchani INJ (Joao Plata 6) / Mikael Yourassowsky 7 / Maicon Santos 6.5 / Nick Soolsma 6 (Javier Martina -)
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Alan Gordon
TALKING POINT: TFC always needs a rambunctious giant. Discuss