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Monday, December 3, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Lesser-known impacts of David Beckham's time in Major League Soccer

Long Live Love David Beckham!

In 2007, a monumental arrival impacted Major League Soccer in ways previously thought impossible. It happened though... an expansion team who wouldn't make the playoffs for six years and counting. Also... David Beckham went to Los Angeles. Yes, FIFA's leading hairstyle innovator (1995-2007) indeed joined Galaxy from Real Madrid in a faux-messianic quest to "bring the soccer to the America". Only the petty out there will deny that Beckham's six seasons in MLS had a positive effect on the footballing landscape of North America but not everything he accomplished was caught on film...
11. Single-handedly caused "The Great Californian Tattoo Ink Crisis" of 2007
10. "Nasal Cockney" now a recognized second-language in many suburban Los Angeles high schools
9. Well coiffured presence in the line-up made Landon Donovan look downright macho
8. Created a 15% spike in Southern California newborns named "Home Depot"
7. His arrival opened a floodgate of other high-profile European footballers like... um... Teemu Tainio?
6. MLS Cup will forever give off a subtle dose of "Homme by David Beckham" cologne every time it is lifted
5. Thankfully persuaded Don Garber to give up on his dreams of a faux-hawk
4. Personally organized the loan of Chad Barrett to Norwegian league - to improve LA Galaxy's goalscoring
3. Helped wean middle-aged women off of "Twilight" and "50 Shades of Grey" for 90 minutes at a time
2. Todd Dunivant totally into super skinny jeans now
1. Coined the pop culture term "Brucearenasexual"

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