Good friggin lord it was warm. Granted, I am the one person who prefers colder weather. I blame the scottish blood.Tonight, Toronto FC are the Mighty Pinks. Apparently, the shirt is for breast cancer awareness and a whopping 10% of all pink kits go towards breast cancer. That's sweet. MLSE is all about doing good first and making money secondly (rolls eyes). It was mentioned what the kits would look like when we're supporting prostate cancer. [DESCRIPTION DELETED DUE TO EXTREME POOR TASTE]
To be honest, only Bret Hart can make pink look tough. And we're not Bret Hart. Hell, we're not even Jim Neidhart.
New York Extreme Beverage are still crap with the same crap lineup and the same crap coach. Can backstop Cepero be the difference and inspire his boys one notch above mediocrity? Doubtful. Juan Pablo Angel show up? Probably not.
Toronto playing the odd mid-week game after having the weekend off due to the odd number of clubs in the league. Fresh off the whuppin of New York at the same pitch and the improbable 6-1 victory over Montreal 'B' to win the NutCan, you can't help but think things are looking good for the boys in red... erm, pink.
On to the match!
1 - It takes a whole minute for the stupid smoke/confetti effect to clear so we can see the pitch. This is about the only real bush league thing TFC does in its game day presentation. Please lose it.
7 - Guevara slides the ball just wide right of the post. I have a good feeling about this.
Temporary nicknames for TFC tonight:
- the pigs
- the pinks
- the commies
- the flamingos
- the cotton candy machine
- the pink torpedos
- and for Chad Barrett, the pink slip (Ali's gonna take your job...)
25 - NYEB's Nick "Shitty Ronaldo" Zimmerman tried to undo a defender with the foot flick-step over trickery and ends up embarassing himself. On my squad, that's a hair dryer treatment and likely a benching for next game. Idiot.
28 GOAL - Vitti coyly heads the ball over a caught-out-of-position Cepero to score his first goal in 5 years*. Pretty goal and hopefully that'll give him the confidence to crack open the floodgates with the attempts at goal.
* LIKELY INCLUDES RESERVES TOO
One of the other writers dubs the rediculous defensive formation "Torontonaccio" (see last game's report for further explanation).
34 - DeRo cross, Guevara header, Cepero's hands.
34 - DeRo cross, Guevara bobbles then leaps desparately only to end up in Cepero's hands again.
36 - Barrett marauds downthe left side, taps to DeRo for a cute backheel into the net, only to be called null due to the ball going out of bounds.
38 - Attakora gets a giant wide ball out, one touches and fired a ball just a few yards from the right. I want to see Nana do this once a game. He gets the space which he creates, he deserves at least an attempt a game to scare the crap out of defenders.
Don't know where this nickname came from, but it's amusing:
- the pink Uruguay
43 - Vitti is possessed and shoots right at the NY keeper, but Cepero doesn't get full control and the ball just trickles wide of the right post. Vitti smells hat trick. I don't question this method. He could smell rainbows as long as the ball ends up in the back of the net.
45 - DeRo attempts to undress the whole NYEB defense with crazy turns and cutbacks, launching a shot past everyone except the last defender who ran behind the keeper to knock it away.
Half-time mood : damn son...
47 - "Shitty Ronaldo" Zimmerman lets a roket fly from 30 yards out calling for Frei to push it over the bar.
51 - DeRo cuts a beautiful ball to "The Chad", who slots it past the keeper, only to be (rightly) called offside. I call for a 'pity goal' as he was very much on target.
58 GOAL - DeRo headed the ball over the diminutive Cepero. Wikipedia states Cepero is 6'2" but you'd swear he was 5'8" tonight. Amazing finish and composure from the legend.
Yes, he's a legend. I love you Dichio, but folks, DeRo wins leagues. Remember that at the 24th minute when you belt out Danny's name knowing in three seasons he's never bagged a hat trick. And he's a midfielder.
61 - Guevara to Cronin to DeRo and over the bar. Pink is the new awesome.
65 SUB - Barrett for Dichio. Barrett, as much as we hate on him, is becoming an integral part of the build up and counter attack. His finish is still weak, but his control has greatly improved since the first game of the season and his heart and pace has never been questioned. Good game sir.
73 - Ricketts has apparently signed for Red Patch Boys, as he's spotted in mid 112 getting a song. Only in Toronto would a guy get a song who doesn't play for them any more. We changed his popular in stadium chant to "Rohan Rickets, burns his bridges..."
77 - Serioux goes down with a knock, ball goes out of play and a mini donnybrook breaks out. Someone gets a yellow... no idea who.
80 - Guevera and Dichio have a cute game of one touch with each other only to lay the ball off for Cronin who fires a rocket forcing Cepero to make a leaping save to push it over the bar.
84 - DeRo flies down the wing to let another long range shot go, forcing another leaping Cepero save. I'm still thinking Cepero is almost Man of the Match again, because a mediocre keeper *cough*Sala*cough* would've seen a much larger scoreline.
87 SUB - De Rosario for Velez. DeRo ran his ass off. Gets an ovation short of what he deserved.
>run 5MinuteCollapseWarning.exe
Extracting panic libraries...
Extracting 8-2-0 formation...
Extracting loss of strategy and basic skills...
** Welcome to Toronto FC's Game Day Panic program. Press ANY KEY to Continue **
88 - 11 pinkies are behind the ball and not a single one of them is more than 20 yards in front of goal. I don't understand this 'batten down the hatches' mentality, especially since New York Extreme Beverage hasn't created so much as a threatening STARE all night.
3 minutes of extra time and New York packed it in at the 90.
FINAL : Toronto FC 2 : New York Extreme Beverage 0
Man of the Match : As much as Cepero was outstanding and I wouldn't be able to pick him anyways, DeRosario was a BEAST tonight. He's on a level beyond this league right now. May he never leave and never come down!
Goat : Nobody. Everyone stepped their game and aside from the occasional gaffes and stale play, Toronto looked great.
Ref : 4/5 red thumbs up. Allowed a lot of play, didn't fall for a lot of weak fouls, linesmen got every offside correctly. Hope this crew comes back. I asked if they were local due to neutrality... great stuff.
Forever Red was quoted as saying "I'm tickled pink" from the result.
He was thoroughly slapped for that one and is recovering nicely.
The South Stand Report is written by The Yorkies' man in the South End Supporters' section at BMO Field to bring you a feel of the match as seen, and heard, from the stands.
Posts
Being closed season here in the UK and Wimbeldon coverage on every single TV station we are pleased to see that there are still a few honest blokes in the world kicking a ball about for fun.
ReplyDeleteYes I know it's strange but even in the remotest parts of the UK we know of TFC and of course the world famous chip buttie (makes me want to cry with pride). We follow with interest the coverage of the mighty reds or for one night only pastle pinks?
I have to say I was confused by the formation of 8-4-0 as last time I saw numbers like that at a match I was trying to complete a Sudoko puzzle in the match programme.
Despite all that what about that guy DeRosario, I look forwrd to him being sold off to another team in the near future, is that not what happens next?
Anyway looking forward to more honest footie soon.
Regards
Keith - Earl of Mendlesham (Thats a small village near Ipswich, Suffolk - Home of Tractors)