The South Stand Report - Toronto v. River Plate... or... The Battle Of Who Could Care Less

I initially thought "Awesome self, I'm not going to write a report for this one..." but I reneged because I had a damn good reason to be excited.

Gerba and O'Brien.

Oh sure, one looks like Jesus and Superman wrapped up in a Canada kit and the other one is the wonderkid that we wondered if we'd ever see.

The Carlsburg Cup is a bullsh** marketing ploy to make a sponsor happy a much anticipated fixture on the TFC calendar.

Onto the match:

12th minute - Boca Supporters show up in 113.

14 - As if it were chemistry class, we discover how to co-exist with their fervent rhythms and our played out songs. To this, the old idiom rings true...

The enemy of my enemy is my friend

Then we have the quote of the match when trying to determine who and where Gomez came from.

Ro: Who's the guy we got from San Jose?
Me: Oh, the defender with the generic Spanish name.
Ro: Yeah... Lopez.
Me: Just because it's Spanish and generic, doesn't mean you get to guess which generic Spanish name it is.
(a few seconds elapse)
Both: ¡Garcia!

28 - Gerba does this crazy leaping trailing foot in an attempt to score the goal of the century off of a DeRo cross and just misses it.

37 - Ro tells me to look up Getafe's new kit

Oh. My. Lord.

41 - Vitti beats and fights his way through to get a cross in. Robinson heads down and the River keeper makes an incredible diving glove save.

42 - YELLOW - Gala with a deserved booking on a mistimed challenge.

44 - Gerba with a great shot. Keeper with an even greater save.

HALF-TIME : Just fearless.

46 - SUB - (follow along here) Dichio, White, Attakora, Barrett and Garcia on for DeRo, Gerba, Brennan, Wynne and someone else.

That was the least confusing one.

53 - Barrett takes a free kick and gets it on target. Felt the need to mention that.

54 - Cross, Dichio header, Robinson just misses with his own header and a dangerous boot to his skull

58 - Velez with a beautiful cross has Gala putting the ball just over the bar.

61 - SUB - Brennan, DeRo on, Robinson, Guevara off. This isn't a typo, I swear it happened.

76 - SUB - Wynne for Brennan, Vitti for DeRo. It's just that stupid.

81 - SUB - Gerba for Attakora.

84 - Vitti turned TWO defenders inside out with ONE TOUCH. So pretty.

90 - Gerba chips one defender, chips a second but that lands in the hands of the keeper.

To the other MLS clubs (you too Philly so pay attention, I don't care if you're new): You are all on notice. We have Gerba and we're not afraid to use him.

So in the Useless Cup V (Villa, Benefica, Independiente and Pachuca before this), after 90 mins we go to penalties.

So here's the chart:

RP - GOAL
TFC - GOAL (Gerba)
RP - GOAL
TFC - MISS (Dichio)
RP - MISS
TFC - MISS (Vitti)
RP - MISS
TFC - GOAL (The Chad)
RP - GOAL
TFC - GOAL (Lopez... erm, Garcia)
RP - GOAL
TFC - MISS (Velez)

And TFC lose on penalties 3-2. Toronto were the better side.

Man of the Match : Vitti

Goat : To say Gomez wouldn't be fair as he had a few rough misses early, but recouped well. So nobody was outstandingly bad.

Ref rating : 4 out of 5. Few missed calls, but didn't screw up any calls that he did make. Good job.

Notes : Dear Mr. Cummins,

We are not relatives of Gabriel Gala, nor do we have a vested interest in him other than supporters.

This kid needs a few more appearances off the bench. He has heart, determination and with better service, I'm sure he could produce.

He is my favourite kind of apple. He should be yours too.

Warmest regards,

The Yorkies.