FRIENDLY VIDEO: Highlights of Rome

Yeah, we're sucking on it going on 7 years friendo.

 

We know that many of you, like us, have decided not to attend tonight's friendly at BMO Field. If you visit our corner of the TFC universe regularly then you are aware of our thoughts on mid-season friendlies and are as sick of hearing them as we are sick of the club continuing down this greedy path.

Your own reasons for staying home and not donating to the "MLSE Make Our Wish Foundation" may be as simple as not wanting to stand in the rain to watch meaningless spectacle. Or, you may be put off by seeing your hometown club reduced to bush-league sparring partner while fawning over the "big club" from Europe like a Tiger Beat pin-up. Whatever your reason, welcome friendly friends.

With that out of the way, we do believe that you - loyal TFC supporter - still deserve to be a part of the Rome extravaganza. So, as a service to kindred spirits, here are Rome video highlights far more important and thoroughly more entertaining than anything on offer down at "TottiPalooza".

On to the video stream...
 


See you on Saturday silent minority... for a real match.

"That's a spicy friendly!" TFC fare quello che sanno fare meglio

TFC executives do good work



The worst-kept secret on College Street was announced today as Toronto FC bathed themselves in Italo-Canadian colours to announce the inevitable. Yes, AS Roma will visit BMO Field on August 7th to face ASS Toronto which will be met (apart from Roma supporters) with a big "... okay then".

We have made our feelings more than clear here... and here... so we won't bleat on about it anymore. You are either frustrated by the club's seemingly endless addiction to sideshows or you just see this as "another friendly" and meet it with a shrug. That is of course entirely up to you.

The announcement at Toronto's Italian media mecca, the CHIN Building, was obviously necessary because AS Roma plays in Rome. Rome is in Italy. Italians like the soccer. TFC sells the soccer. TFC loves Italians. Here is some video just in off the satellite feed of TFC management addressing their suddenly cherished multicultural life-partners:



TFC understands that all of the Italian community in Toronto won't support AS Roma just because they are from Italy right? Have they heard of Chivas USA? Oh why do we bother? Apparently we are just a minority of Twitter nogoodniks, right Mr. Payne?

Anyhoo, this is the last we will be talking of this match (except of course for the "INSERT STAR PLAYER'S NAME HERE" who picks up a season-ending injury during the match). If you go - enjoy and we hope you don't pay too much. If you decide not to... don't worry, you'll have another chance this time next year.

Circus Maximus

Suck it TFC supporters



We made our feelings very clear about Toronto FC and their addiction to annual clown shows here. Nothing has changed.
　
According to news sources in this country (including Sportsnet here) and in Italy, The Reds are set to make a pandering announcement in Little Italy on Wednesday to announce AS Roma will be this year's dogs and ponies. Our feelings have nothing to do with AS Roma, they are a famous club from a wonderful footballing nation - we wouldn't care if it was a team of Pele/Maradona Cyborgs sent from the future to destroy us (actually we'd like that) - the point is, this just stinks.
　
It stinks that the date being thrown around is in the middle of two fixtures against Seattle and New England which will force TFC to play 3 matches in 7 days. It stinks that a very thin TFC squad will be forced to play a good core of their starting squad and risk injury. It stinks that TFC don't understand that the only thing true TFC supporters want is for our club to be the good one... not the punching bag for "a real team form Europe".
　
All power to long-time Roma supporters who want to attend this match. We can't blame you; it's a rare opportunity to see a club you support from afar in the flesh. For the rest of us... why? The argument given that "we deserve to see some quality football after watching TFC all year" doesn't fly. You are still watching TFC, except this time they are being outclassed by a bunch of dudes on vacation. How prestigious!
　
Another excuse often trotted out in apology is that it "will give a chance for the bench players to get a run out" and/or "it is great experience" for these players to play against a "big club". Neither of these holds much weight. TFC has little depth, there is no way they can field a team of B-Squad players nor will that be expected from those who will have to mortgage their house for tickets for this "competition". As far as a great learning experience? Yes, the goal against Real Madrid put Gabe Gala on a rocket ship to stardom.
　
Beyond the indignity of the inevitable price (why do we even hold hope that TFC will do the right thing and give suffering season ticket holders a freebie?) the most discouraging thing is that the club just doesn't get it. Seven very long years and they still think we are hockey-lovin' rubes who will be dazzled by some European "sakker guys". No. We know football. We know our football team is not good. We want TFC to put 100% effort into making them good.
　
TFC management fiddles while Roma burns them.

THE STARTING 11: Things overheard at the Toronto v Liverpool friendly

Match highlights were hard to find

They came, they saw... they played their reserve team. The Merseyside circus has packed up its travelling roadshow as Liverpool FC move on to their next North American port of call... likely with a full squad. While Toronto fans may have felt a bit ripped off with the quality of players offered by those Reds, many did manage to have a good time at a fairly entertaining 1-1 draw. As the match and the SkyDome roof drew to a close, you couldn't help but overhear some interesting chatter amongst the Reds supporters (Canadian and English species) in blue seats...

11. "Rogers Center... Brendan Rodgers. Brendan Rodgers... Rogers Center."

10. "God Bless Amerikwa!"

9. "I think Luis Suarez just said something Canadianist"

8. "Our B-Squad is as good as their C-Squad!"

7. "I was so looking forward to not seeing Andy Carroll score"

6. "Adam Morgan ain't no Ashtone Morgan"

5. "I'm pretty sure Rafa Benitez just sold me a pretzel"

4. "No, I'm not Bruce Grobbelaar. Yes, you can stroke my moustache."

3. "It's just like being at Anfield... But after the match the tires are still on your car!"

2. "This is boring... let's go watch Eric Hassli and Craig Bellamy fight in the parking lot"

1. "You'll Never Walk Alone... You'll Always Pay Full Price"

Not Necessarily THE MATCHUP

"You'll Never Dome Alone"



We've already made our feelings clear (here) about Toronto FC and useless, often perilous, mid-season money-friendlies that see actual MLS fixtures re-scheduled to accommodate. So, in apathy rather than any type of misplaced protest, we will forego any kind of regular match preview or post-match report. Except of course a short piece on Sunday when the MRI scans on Ryan Johnson, Torsten Frings, Milos Kocic and Luis Silva reveal season-ending injuries.
　
If you are a local Liverpool supporter - go and enjoy your Reds. If you are a Toronto FC supporter who paid extra to spend some more time with your club - go and enjoy your Reds. If you could care less about the whole thing... here's a monkey in goal. Wearing red....


　
Paul Mariner softened the blow for any TFC fans that paid far too much money and expect to see a full squad face Liverpool by calling local supporters "smart". If Mariner is smart - and we seem to think he is - Toronto FC should line-up like-so...
　
GK - Quillan Roberts
D - Miguel Aceval
D - Ty Harden
D - Dicoy Williams
D - Aaron Maund
M - Matt Stinson
M - Oscar Cordon
M - Reggie Lambe
M - Eric Avila
F - Andrew Wiedeman
F - Keith Makubuya
　
To ease your pain at the thought of watching that team try to score against a Liverpool FC squad who will want to jog for 90 minutes here is a Panini sticker of LFC legend and sexy moustache engineer Bruce Grobbelaar... (not an actual sticker - don't try to peel screen)

　
All in all Reds supporters (of both varieties)... have a larf, pray for no injuries to TFC, don't make fun of Andy Carroll's pony-tail out loud and whatever you do - don't tell Luis Suarez that the ONLY Suarez in this town is Nick Soolsma's cat.
　
For those of you who wouldn't fathom spending a dime on this match but don't want to feel left out... here is footage from another Liverpool friendly with about as much importance...

THE MATCHUP: A Fish Called Wanderers (Now with 50% more results!)

Welcome Wanderers. We made you your own town.

TORONTO FC VS. BOLTON WANDERERS
　
BMO Field - Wednesday 7:30PM ET
TV: No, probably poker ----RADIO: You're kidding right?
　
Now that we got that whole Spain vs. Netherlands malarkey out of the way, let's concentrate on a true classic football contest - The Carlsberg Cup! Yes, the annual match between Toronto FC and the affordable opponent of their choice is here and while other MLS clubs arranged friendlies with the likes of Tottenham, Valencia and Sporting Lisbon, BMO Field will host "The Outer Greater Manchester-area Galacticos" - Bolton!
　
No offence to the mighty Trotters but even lower division English sides would turn up their noses at a pre-season friendly against Owen Coyle's side. Bolton will never be mistaken for one of football's glamour teams - but hey, Toronto doesn't exactly play champagne football so we have no right to be cocky.
　
For those of you who just love and crave the usual "The Matchup" features, we're sorry - just can't squeeze the mustard for a friendly. Mista, TFC Academy blah, blah. There you go. Instead, we bring you a list of other football contests that had more significance than Torontos versus Boltons on a Wednesday night.
　
- New York Cosmos vs. Harlem Globetrotters on a deserted island
- Michael Caine, Sylvester Stallone, Pele et al vs. Nazi Super Squad
- Sheffield Virtual Wednesday vs. Sheffield Robotic Uprising (Carlsberg Cup 2037)
- Residents of Bolton, Ontario kicking stones towards the Toronto
- Johan Cruyff vs.11 Dutch circus midgets
- Zombie Toronto Metros-Croatia vs. Ghosts of Bolton Wanderers 1923 FA Cup Winners
- All-time Diseased Monkey 11 vs. Arsenal
- Diana Ross vs. the World Cup 1994 Ceremonial Ball
　
BOLTON, ONTARIO SAYS: "There's a soccer team in Toronto?"
BOLTON, LANCASHIRE SAYS: "What?... Oh, sorry we were asleep."
HEADLINE: "ONE WONDERS WHY WANDERERS WOULD WANDER WESTWARD"
　
FINAL MATCH SCORE WILL APPEAR BELOW… if you care.

FINAL SCORE:
TORONTO FC 1 - BOLTON WANDERERS 1 (Bolton 4-3 on PK's)

They're no Alliston Rovers FC

EDITORIAL: MLSE are a supporter's best friend-ly

-----------------One block east of Lower Expectations

There can be no one reading this anywhere near the City of Toronto who can still truly believe that Toronto FC's owners, Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, are really concerned about building a winner. If you are one of those disillusioned oddballs: stop reading this immediately, wash your brain out with soap and run, don't walk, to your nearest mental facility. No, MLSE don't build winners, they carefully gauge marketing trends and consumer spending and make their decisions accordingly.
　
Give credit where it is due, the Bay Street marketers know this game, and they are very good at it. They troll the message boards and they "listen" to fan concerns - but not for the purposes we would wish for. No, they aren't figuring out a way to improve the team's fortunes but how to manage expectations and make more profit at the same time. So what has been their modus operandi? That would be the money spinning "good will" of an international friendly.
　
MLSE realizes that TFC is a different beast than their other properties. The Leafs are a sell-out lock for the foreseeable future; the Raptors can get by due to the fact that the "right man" is in charge; however, TFC has a rabid support who are louder and complain vociferously. MLSE however aren't concerned with "the thinkers" in TFC's support - they want to distract the easily swayed supporter (you know the guy) who will forget how bad Toronto FC is and instead talk about an upcoming friendly for months, while TFC continues to lose and spin into mediocrity. Real Madrid anyone?
　
With this in mind we can probably judge how pleased with themselves MLSE is with the BMO Field vibe. The better they feel the club is being received - the less glamorous the friendly opponent. If it is tanking - "hello UEFA? Send us the special please." Here is a handy chart for you to refer to for 2010 - MLSE's TFC Inc. vibe followed by the corresponding possible opponent. (Based on those coming or rumoured to be coming to North America in 2010)
　
"Excellent - souvenirs and beer sales are brisk":
CLUB AMERICA

"Good - some mumbles but how 'bout those new white kits?":
RED STAR BELGRADE

"Fair - some hiccups but they're still singing their little songs":
FIORENTINA

"Bad – why are these people so obsessed with winning… and goals?":
MANCHESTER CITY

"Awful - Chip Butty sales are way down! Red Alert!":
AC MILAN

"Tanked - Wow they really hate that Scottish guy, gimme the phone":
MANCHESTER UNITED
　
The only thing getting in the way of this prediction is MLSE's amazing ability to naval gaze as they sharpen the axe next to the golden goose. If any of this does come true - think twice before you comment anywhere that "it's a crap season but at least (insert club here) is coming" because you are being played. Again.

Back To Real-ity

Los Galacticos have left los building. No need for a match report, no need for analysis. It was an all-star skills competition at BMO Field and ended as predicted. It is no secret that Real Madrid is in a different class from TFC, and that's no insult to The Reds. Real are in a different class to all but a handful of teams in the world. 5-1 was the final and despite the ticket price, Real Madrid did as advertised. They played their stars who scored pretty goals while looking pretty. Kudos to Toronto's Gabe Gala who notched the home side's only goal. The kid looked like he just scored the World Cup winner and in his short career it may be similar. The strike also gave the TFC supporters in the crowd, and yes there were a good number, a reason to cheer for their outmatched home team.

Now that the circus leaves town, the real (not Real) questions can resume. Where does TFC go from here? Does a real push for the playoffs start now or does this team continue to sputter through the rest of the MLS season? Next, does the media spotlight which has been shining so brightly on BMO Field this week have any residue? Will the media stick around and start asking hard questions about actual issues such as the lack of new signings, the poor showing as of late and the lack of investment from MLSE after recent huge profits? Or, is the self proclaimed "Highlight of the Season", tonight's friendly, the best that supporters get this year?

It is a bit of a crossroads for The Reds right now. The only thing left on the schedule are gruelling late season matches and long road trips. There are no more glamour friendlies, no Champions League and if things don't pick up in a hurry - no playoffs. It's just football from here on out and it's time for the head office to make this team ready for the rest of the season and the near future. Hopefully Mo Johnston's magical "5 Year Plan" includes real transfers and isn't only about collecting draft picks and mapping out big name friendlies for the next two seasons while the club wades through mediocrity.

"Real" Greed Makes MLSE Kaka

To brand Friday night's friendly against Real Madrid as a negative would be an ignorant thing to do. To imagine that MLSE brought the Nu-Galacticos here to further the "beautiful game" in Toronto would be a far more ignorant line of thought. The fact that our local squad, comparable in stature with a second division European club, gets to test their skills against the reserves of one of the world's Top 5 clubs is great in theory. The way the event was created, and the why it was created, is an exercise so steeped in corporate greed that it must even make some MLSE execs blush - and their bar is quite low already.

The bad taste for some supporters started early when the match was first announced. The immediate excitement that Real Madrid was this year's friendly was amazing. Then the bottom fell out. This was not the free match, instead, season ticket holders were given the privilege to get a bank loan and pay four or five times the regular price of their ticket to see a no contact, no hustle friendly. Inevitably the match sold out, there was little doubt about those chances, however, the very fans who make the noise and atmosphere that the ownership uses so deftly to promote the team will mostly be absent. The great unwashed got the distant second place award of a night with River Plate. Instead, the average rabid TFC supporter will be supplanted on Friday by suburbanites in Cristiano Ronaldo jerseys and corporate hangers-on who might watch the odd "soccer" game every four years. Some BMO Field regulars will be apologists and tout the "once in a lifetime" aspect of the match but real Reds' supporters are far more interested in the remaining MLS schedule and still very angry at the team's pathetic Champions League elimination.

It is no secret in Toronto that MLSE is not in the trophy-winning business. The Bay Street Bankers are in the profit business and they are perennial champions. But, even in their wildest dreams the board could have not seen this coming when they paid a pittance for the expansion fee and weaseled their way into a nearly free stadium. Sold out crowds (who can pound back the Carlsberg), merchandise wearing fanatics, transfer fee windfalls and now this - the multi-million one night only jackpot! It's no wonder that MLSE has been pushing this as the "be all and end all" of football extravaganzas, for them it is. An approximate profit of $3 Million for the match itself and for the cherry on top, an approximate $225,000 gate from tonight's Real Madrid open practice. And that's before refreshments and merchandise! The giddy giggling you hear from Bay Street is The Board of Directors rolling in a big pile of money taken from those "crazy soccer lovin' sons of immigrants!"

Toronto FC, despite its name, is not a club. To it's fans it is, to the suits it is very much a franchise - part of the corporate branding in MLSE's sports entertainment catalogue. It is just the latest product to be sure that all of the Toronto area's market demographics are covered. Results on the pitch are of no consequence to the boardroom. Win, lose or draw, BMO Field is full. MLSE collects just enough men in red shirts to manage expectations and to field an opponent for "big" football teams to visit. This is most reflected by the tone of MLSE VP Bob Hunter who when asked about the grass being installed for Real Madrid said the surface "reflects the quality of the team we're playing...". If that's the case, then the Field Turf, which now looks like a pair of old man's polyester green slacks, must reflect the quality of the team who plays on it the rest of the year. Complain all you want Mr. De Rosario - you are just the pin-up boy for TFC Inc. - your thoughts on the turf do not matter.

The saddest part of this whole fiasco is how a friendly, what most real clubs play in their pre-season, is being sold to the dimmer lights of TFC support as "The Highlight of the Season". For supporters, that should send a collective chill up the spines. There was barely a peep from TFC/ MLSE about the Champions League debacle, there is a glossing over of the wall that TFC has hit and the rapidly disappearing play-offs, the Director of Football has spent most of the transfer window watering a falsehood about Julian De Guzman signing while not actually signing anyone, and yet what is the PR machine churning out and the media eating up? “Kaka is here!” Indeed it is.

Real Madrid will come and go and MLSE will have a giant $3 Million dollar-plus cheque in their hands. That’s a similar amount to the fee they got from the sale of Maurice Edu last year, which was apparently going to be spent on club improvements. Is temporary one-day grass covered in the Edu fund? TFC is turning into a very lucrative little jewel in the MLSE Empire and has given the execs the one thing they didn’t think was possible – “Leafs Nation” 12 months a year. The “Leafs On Turf” may wear red but the bottom line will never share the same hue. One more similarity TFC will share with its MLSE cousins on ice and hardwood… an empty trophy case.

The South Stand Report - Toronto v. River Plate... or... The Battle Of Who Could Care Less

I initially thought "Awesome self, I'm not going to write a report for this one..." but I reneged because I had a damn good reason to be excited.

Gerba and O'Brien.

Oh sure, one looks like Jesus and Superman wrapped up in a Canada kit and the other one is the wonderkid that we wondered if we'd ever see.

The Carlsburg Cup is a bullsh** marketing ploy to make a sponsor happy a much anticipated fixture on the TFC calendar.

Onto the match:

12th minute - Boca Supporters show up in 113.

14 - As if it were chemistry class, we discover how to co-exist with their fervent rhythms and our played out songs. To this, the old idiom rings true...

The enemy of my enemy is my friend

Then we have the quote of the match when trying to determine who and where Gomez came from.

Ro: Who's the guy we got from San Jose?
Me: Oh, the defender with the generic Spanish name.
Ro: Yeah... Lopez.
Me: Just because it's Spanish and generic, doesn't mean you get to guess which generic Spanish name it is.
(a few seconds elapse)
Both: ¡Garcia!

28 - Gerba does this crazy leaping trailing foot in an attempt to score the goal of the century off of a DeRo cross and just misses it.

37 - Ro tells me to look up Getafe's new kit

Oh. My. Lord.

41 - Vitti beats and fights his way through to get a cross in. Robinson heads down and the River keeper makes an incredible diving glove save.

42 - YELLOW - Gala with a deserved booking on a mistimed challenge.

44 - Gerba with a great shot. Keeper with an even greater save.

HALF-TIME : Just fearless.

46 - SUB - (follow along here) Dichio, White, Attakora, Barrett and Garcia on for DeRo, Gerba, Brennan, Wynne and someone else.

That was the least confusing one.

53 - Barrett takes a free kick and gets it on target. Felt the need to mention that.

54 - Cross, Dichio header, Robinson just misses with his own header and a dangerous boot to his skull

58 - Velez with a beautiful cross has Gala putting the ball just over the bar.

61 - SUB - Brennan, DeRo on, Robinson, Guevara off. This isn't a typo, I swear it happened.

76 - SUB - Wynne for Brennan, Vitti for DeRo. It's just that stupid.

81 - SUB - Gerba for Attakora.

84 - Vitti turned TWO defenders inside out with ONE TOUCH. So pretty.

90 - Gerba chips one defender, chips a second but that lands in the hands of the keeper.

To the other MLS clubs (you too Philly so pay attention, I don't care if you're new): You are all on notice. We have Gerba and we're not afraid to use him.

So in the Useless Cup V (Villa, Benefica, Independiente and Pachuca before this), after 90 mins we go to penalties.

So here's the chart:

RP - GOAL
TFC - GOAL (Gerba)
RP - GOAL
TFC - MISS (Dichio)
RP - MISS
TFC - MISS (Vitti)
RP - MISS
TFC - GOAL (The Chad)
RP - GOAL
TFC - GOAL (Lopez... erm, Garcia)
RP - GOAL
TFC - MISS (Velez)

And TFC lose on penalties 3-2. Toronto were the better side.

Man of the Match : Vitti

Goat : To say Gomez wouldn't be fair as he had a few rough misses early, but recouped well. So nobody was outstandingly bad.

Ref rating : 4 out of 5. Few missed calls, but didn't screw up any calls that he did make. Good job.

Notes : Dear Mr. Cummins,

We are not relatives of Gabriel Gala, nor do we have a vested interest in him other than supporters.

This kid needs a few more appearances off the bench. He has heart, determination and with better service, I'm sure he could produce.

He is my favourite kind of apple. He should be yours too.

Warmest regards,

The Yorkies.

Carlsberg Cup Parade Cancelled - City In Mourning

Toronto FC fans are crying themselves to sleep tonight as the club has lost one of the most prestigious trophies in football - The Carlsberg Cup. Rated as one of the world's Top 100 Meaningless Beer-Related Football Promotional Trophies, the "CC" is highly sought after. The Reds lost out to Argentine so-and-so's River Plate who will surely dismiss all of those pathetic Argentine Championships they own, now that they've captured the mighty CC!

The match, which saw absolutely nothing happen at BMO Field for 90 minutes, was decided on penalty kicks with Toronto losing 4-3. The Reds' penalty takers did manage to put a couple of balls into Lake Ontario though, so not all was lost. Supporters who previously believed Danny Dichio could walk on water must be questioning their place in the universe as the Patron Saint of Balding/Soulful House Music, was one of TFC's less than stellar kickers. That's two years running now that teams have come in and stolen what is rightfully ours. Don't they realize how much Carlsberg we drink at BMO? For the love of Andy Welsh -give us the fake trophy - we only have one other!

If you have managed to wade through that Samuel-load of sarcasm but still want a proper match recap - sorry. Mid-season friendlies are the bastard child of football schedules. If you are really concerned about what happened on the pitch tonight - seek medical help. Ok, one hint for your kind patronage - nothing. The only interesting tidbit was when the PA announcer declared that Pablo Vitti was Man Of The Match (!!!) - he went on to thank Vitti for his hard work and service while with TFC. I don't know about you, but that sure sounds like a sentence that continues with "...your locker needs to be cleared out in 20 minutes, there's a flight to Buenos Aires at 9." Maybe not, but hey - stranger things happen, who could imagine River Plate would be 2009 Carlsberg Cup Champions? Argentina must be partying tonight.

Strike While The Plate Is Hot

Friendly matches. They are a bit like marriage. Men pretending to be interested, very little contact and any scoring usually happens by accident. Now and again, the friendly offers up something new and interesting that makes it worthwhile - kind of like when the wife has too much to drink.

Wednesday evening Toronto FC host those wacky Argentines - River Plate, in this year's Carlsberg Cup. Ah, the Carlsberg Cup - up there with the great awards like the FA Cup and the Jules Rimet Trophy - but we digress. The Reds are indeed offering up something new to their supporters. What the BMO Field faithful will get to see is a glimpse of TFC's striking (as in goal scoring not handsome) future. Not one but two new forwards will take part in the otherwise meaningless match. Strikers eh? Just like the bus. You wait for ages for your stubborn Scottish Director of Football to drive up in one - then two come along!

Indeed, Ali Gerba will make his on-field debut with TFC fresh off his strong showing at the Gold Cup with Canada and a solid 08/09 campaign with MK Dons. The very strong Cameroon-born tank will be a welcome crash-and-bang style forward in the style of Danny Dichio except able to move sideways. Gerba is a known quantity and will surely bulge the onion bag on a regular basis.

The other debut is the unknown quantity. O'Brian White, the newest member of TFC's "Scarborough Massive" is the club's top draft pick this year and comes out of the NCAA with all of college's highest football honours. He was scoring goals at a great clip and was headed towards being the 1st overall pick when he suffered a bad ACL injury. His hometown club could not resist his potential though and drafted the injured forward, immediately putting him to work with TFC's top-notch training team. The rehab is ending and the local boy is ready for the big-time.

Fans will need patience with White but he and Gerba may very well be this team's strike force for the foreseeable future. Now the questions can begin about the existing strikers. Player of the Week award aside, Chad Barrett is no better than an off-the-bench sub. His scoring ratio is simply not good enough but he comes cheap and is locked up long term. Pablo Vitti's time is simply running out. His hustle and raw talent are admirable but the numbers aren't there. Few goals and a hefty (MLS-hefty at least) wage makes the Hairy Hitman a target for the pink slip. Mo Johnston is surely thinking of sneaking him onto River Plate's plane home like a sleepy B.A. Baracus on The A-Team. Finally, the bald Messiah himself. Danny Dichio is due to hang up the boots after this season and ride off into the sunset - at least as far as Etobicoke. His future off the field with TFC seems assured - possibly team barber/ DJ.

So, on an otherwise forgettable Wednesday night by the lake, Reds' supporters may finally be getting a glimpse of the strike force they so desperately want and need. Let's just hope they are as good as former wrestling tag-team "Strike Force". In the words of Tito Santana and River Plate - "Ariba!!!"

Match Report - Independiente (ARG) v. TFC

OMG, this thing is SOOOOO LATE and there's still another one coming. Blah, blah, blah... TFC good, Independiente bad... yada yada yada, useless exhibition in a crowded schedule... OK, screw it, onto the breakdown.

Match predictions : 3-1 for either side, 0-0, 2-1 Independiente, 3-1 Independiente, 1-0 TFC, 2-0 Independiente

TFC starts the match with the reservists and Edu. Independiente also started with reservists, but they are Racing Club's reservists, AKA Independiente starting XI. Ha! Take that!

3 - Attakora-Gyan ripped the ball off of IND #7

4 - I pitch Bohemian Rhapsody as the club song to ForeverRed. He's not feeling the idea

5 - Jeeered Smeeth fires a shot just wide of the net

7 - Cunningham got a shot off, that appeared to go forward, but having no depth perception, it went straight up in the air.

8 - TFC Reservists look pretty good executing plans. I change my prediction to 2-1 Independiente, I’m that confident.

9 - IND #31 gets booked for stupid unsportsmanlike conduct ever displayed in a meaningless game

11 - Edu booked. Worst display of acting ever as once the card is shown, he gets up from rolling

13 - ¿que eres? After Idiotpendiente #7 moans over a legit offside call.

15 - goalie Edwards rushes out to make a brilliant tackle on an Independiente through ball.

16 - Ibrahim with a pretty ball to Cunningham who held it too long before shooting with no angle.

17 - Rosenlund gets rocked by a deflected ball clearing.

19 - Edwards is NOT screwing around out there

21 - IND #7 is a weak little girl who has no business pretending to be a pro. He goes down grabbing his left thigh, stays on the ground to get his right ankle treated.

- the atmosphere is piss tonight because no one brought the drum or the megaphone tonight, completely true -

29 - the fans have no clue what they're doing. Need proof? The suit named MLSinToronto has got a song sung about him. Twice.

30 - After a nice spell of control, Ibrahim is hauled down by IND#12 and gets book for his troubles

36 - ball across the face of goal, and Smeeth skied it over the bar from 4 yards out.

41 – Attakora-Gyan fired the ball just wide. Meanwhile at the other end, Edwards is yelling like its a cup final.

44 - our TFC Reservists are playing smoother than our starting XI with crazy Barcelona type passing. Magic.

Half-time mood : unimpressed, pathetic, sombre

48 - Ibrahim does a 1-2 with Gala, lays it off to Smeeth who may never score a goal intentionally. Shades of Lombardo circa 2007.

56 – IND puts the ball into the box, #9 gets to it but misses... should’ve been a goal.

58 – SUB – Ibrahim off, Rickets on.

67 – GOAL – IND free-kick, headed the ball into the box, scramble, #9 put the ball into back of net.

68 – SUB – I think Cunningham is out, Frank Jonke (#19) is in

70 - SUB – Smeeth is out, Murphy Wiredu (#8) is in apparently a CSL tryout

76 – SUB - Gala out, Gerard Ladiyou (#2) in, apparently a CSL tryout. Neither Jonke, Wiredu and Ladiyou have names on the backs of their shirts.

78 – Edo musters up a shot at net. You will notice that this was the first thing of action note 11 minutes.

Quote of the match: “If you paid $70 for this ticket, you’d be pissed.” I’ve seen better CSL games.

80 - Rosenlund took a free kick and got it around the wall, Julius James gets around his defender, goes up and damn near back-heels it from behind his body in the air (you had to see it) and just curls around the bar. THAT GOAL WOULD’VE BEEN WORTH $70. We now bring you back to your TFC Reserves.

88 – Ricketts on the wing, crosses to Rosenlund and Wiredu tries to chase down the ball, only to have the keeper grab it

90+1 – IND #22 gets booked, but Ricketts gets a shot off beforehand, ending up about 24 feet wide of the netting to the left.

90+1 – Rosenlund, half-volley, shanks it over the bar. He’s playing really really well tonight.

Thumbs Up : The ref was OUTSTANDING

Thumbs Down : I lost precious sleep for this abomination. If you are going to have a game against international opposition, could you please guarantee that the domestic side fields its best team. Otherwise, have them and give the tickets away or something.

Goat of the Match : Ummm... whoever overbooked the month of July with games. Idiot. Don’t do it again next year.

Man of the Match : Edu worked hard, but in hindsight, I’m giving it to Rosenlund. Played outstanding.

“Budgie” award for heart : Brian Edwards. He wanted to win so bad, you could feel it.