The Playoffs: TFC's march to justification

The long-shot prospect of Toronto FC making the 2014 MLS playoffs represents one glorious opportunity for those that control this club from up high. No, it is not to reward the most beaten-down of all MLS supporters - it is justification.

Already, many fans have come to loathe the four-week "must-win" campaign that has devolved into the "we're still mathematically possible" reality we have today but as annoying as the internal club promotion may be - TFC is still in with a tiny chance. The best-case playoff scenario would see The Reds flail backwards into the fifth spot in the East and a shot in the wildcard "play-in" match. The question is: should we want them to?

The refrain that "anything is possible once you're in the playoffs" isn't completely hollow. There have been a few instances in the past where an unlikely club battles their way deep into the semi-finals or even finals but these are mostly the exception to the rule. For the most part, the cream rises to the top and it would be hard to find too many TFC supporters who would put their money on the line to back the locals in a one-match do-or-die, away to either New York or Sporting KC.

"But why would that be bad?" you may ask. "Don't we deserve a crumb of the post-season?" Yes. We all do… but the problem comes afterwards. The problem becomes how ownership may use that potential future and the most likely answer is again: justification.

Tim Leiweke & Co. made bold statements that the playoffs were the goal this year. No asterisks involved. Nothing about how far in the playoffs they would travel - just the playoffs. TFC's eight-year Valhalla realized. It is not difficult to imagine TFC squeaking into that wildcard match and - even if they re-produce an effort not unlike Saturday night's miserable display at Red Bull Arena - being trumpeted as a successful completion of the stated pre-season goal. Your first-ever post-season TFC! "We gave you what we promised! Now we need to talk..."

A mere appearance in the league's post-season will give MLSE the ammunition to go forward in two ways. On a team level, the so-far greatly underwhelming Greg Vanney and his inexperienced staff who lead a squad rife with imbalance and shallow depth may no longer seem to require an urgent fix. “Surely if this young(ish) squad made fifth this season then better can be achieved with the experience and a transfer window that Vanney has gained” will be the likely refrain. The cracks, and there are more than we'd like to believe, will not necessarily receive the care they require this off-season. However, the real justification that MLSE seeks from a post-season appearance may be more personal to you, the supporter.

After rolling back season ticket prices to 2007 levels and having to then freeze those prices, the owners must be bursting at the seams to put things right in their eyes. Giving you the absolute bare minimum on the pitch so they can squeeze the bare maximum out of your wallet is the trophy that they seek most. On a raft of promotions and slow motion videos of The Reds "historic post season march", your 2015 tickets will undoubtedly reflect this grand "achievement". Leiweke has told fans in the past that they would not ask for a raise until they did what they said they'd do. No matter how brief an appearance - this would be trotted out as proof.

Seeing The Reds in the post-season is nearly a decade-long wish for all supporters. The sweet, unknown experience of the playoffs is such a tempting prospect that it is easy to say we will worry about the future when it happens. Unfortunately that will most likely all happen very quickly. This club is not currently built for a run at the Cup. Does the potential of 90 extra minutes resembling this past Saturday suit the expected reward the club will ask of you in return?

Despite "how close" the current manager likes to tell us this club is to succeeding, it is increasingly difficult to see this. TFC, as is, can't compete on a consistent basis with the better clubs in this league. Without an off-season where the club's feet are held to the fire because of their failures this year, this potential playoff blip could simply usher in another long barren spell.

This club is not yet good enough. There are holes now and more to open up over winter with the imminent departures. Having the club emboldened by the absolute minimum modicum of success - and raising prices to watch it in 2015 - could be a far worse long-term hindrance than missing the playoffs again this year.

Yes, anything can happen in the playoffs. The reality points to TFC's possible appearance producing little more of the same on the pitch followed by an off-season of indifference, reinforced by the corporate jewel of being a "playoff team". Any TFC fan can be forgiven for not caring about that right now just to get a taste of what we have deserved for so long. However, is this incarnation of TFC, one which would be justified in its own mind to pursue the status quo albeit at a much higher expense to you, worth 90 more minutes of your time?

A bloody big loss? How Tim Leiweke's departure may hurt Toronto FC

Much like the carnival hucksters surrounding BMO Field during the CNE, it is the "step right up" shtick of Tim Leiweke that has excited and frustrated TFC supporters in equal measure. The brash American CEO was brought in to fix the eternally stumbling Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment corporation on a wave of success that included wins for both the LA Kings and LA Lakers as well as the delivery of David Beckham to North American football. Unlike his MLSE predecessors, his monorail promises definitely put Toronto FC in a place of prominence next to their bigger brothers, the Leafs and Raptors - this was a new experience for TFC supporters.

While some of his bluster towards TFC has been cringe-worthy, few can argue that he really has had his eye on fixing the floundering club since day one and has backed that up with a top-to-bottom renovation that is beginning to show dividends. High-profile DP acquisitions, poaching a league wonderkid as GM and giving good lip service to supporters has healed many of the very deep wounds fostered by the likes of Tom Anselmi and his merry band of idiots who "lead" The Reds prior to Leiweke's arrival. All of which now leads to a big question: "what happens to TFC now that he's leaving?"

The whispers emerged earlier this week and today were confirmed that Tim Leiweke will indeed be leaving MLSE by next June at the latest. So just how could this affect the delicate balance that is the still-rebuilding TFC going forward? There are a few areas where fear amongst TFC fans may be warranted:

CLUB MANAGEMENT
For years, TFC's front office was the justified lightning rod for TFC supporter frustrations. A rotating group of on-the-job trainers with little (or expired) connections to the league, let alone the greater football world, always left observers with the feeling that the lights were on but no one was home. They were mostly correct. The installation of MLS bright spark Tim Bezbatchenko, with Leiweke as the money man above, has been a tonic to seven years of rudderless leadership.

So what will happen to this branch of the MLSE Empire? Will the new CEO have TFC in his wallet and leave the day-to-day operations and team management to Tim Bezbatchenko? Will the young T-Bez be elevated to a higher "team president" role? These are questions that could have great impact on the club moving forward. Most supporters will agree that T-Bez seems like a very bright and well-connected steward who knows MLS intimately. Having someone like him as the "leader" of TFC would probably calm many nerves but his relationship under a new CEO will dictate that potential success.

Alternatively, a more hands-on CEO with an eye on ruling all of MLSE's properties with an iron fist may end up upsetting the fine balance and/or feel the need to install "his own men" into managerial roles. The best case scenario would seem to be allowing Bezbatchenko to grow into a club leadership role with greater autonomy under a financial overlord.

THE STARTING 11: Things that Toronto FC supporters gain from 'Argos To BMO'

"You'll never know we're here sakker fans..."



2014 marks the seventh year of us writing about Toronto FC/Mo Johnston-baiting on this here site. Not one year has gone by without us getting our knickers in a twist about the potential move of the Toronto Argonauts PointyEgg Club packing their nomadic hobo sack and landing in "Our House", BMO Field.

Well, as is all too obvious now under the stewardship of MLSE prez Tim Leiweke - the move is on. Set eyeballs to stun as the amazing architectural plans will be tailored to tickle your manbits and/or ladybits into submission. 20% of them will come to fruition. To dispel the rumour that we are completely negative about this eventuality (We are. Get used to it.) we put together one of our trademarked Starting 11's to list all the advantages that you, the loyal TFC supporter, will gain from this huckster's scheme to pave the NFL's journey to Toronto benevolent gift to us.

11.

10.

9.

8.

7. A roof during inclement weather.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

　
And... Since "BMO Field 2: Pinball Clemons Boogaloo" will need a chant befitting the pitch for TFC matches...

Touch-downer! Argos sale to MLSE to mark the end of BMO Field as soccer specific stadium

Why is this man smiling?

That thud you heard this morning was TFC supporter's hearts collectively hitting the ground. A TSN report claiming that the Toronto Argos are on the brink of being sold to MLSE and/or Larry Tanenbaum brought home the worst fears for many of The Reds' faithful. The Argos are moving to BMO Field.

When (not if) this long-rumoured deal comes to fruition, there will be no more "will they or won't they move here" - it will be a done deal. The little, imperfect yet genuine soccer stadium we have taken more-or-less for granted will be gone. In its place will be a new, multi-purpose facility. "This Is Our House" will be nothing but words on an outdated poster.

Don't be fooled TFC supporters - in the very near future you will be tempted with dazzling architectural diagrams of BMO 2.0 with a roof, retractable seats and the kicker... a pristine soccer pitch. Do us a favour and take a piece of chalk and draw in fully faded CFL markings over this pitch to see the eventual reality.

Fear-mongering and over-reacting you say? Well show us one single gridiron/football (real football) groundshare that works on actual grass (or hybrid for argument's sake) where the football team plays on a smooth, gridiron-line free surface. We're not talking a Wembley Stadium that hosts one or two NFL matches but a full season of linebacker pounding.

Some hopeful types trot out the fact that some UK football grounds share with a rugby tenant. A fair argument but leaning towards apples and oranges. I have yet to see a rugby match with lines every ten yards, a Toronto Sun logo in the centre circle, coloured end zones and Rona ads in every quadrant. Rugby also has more horizontal movement as opposed to gridiron's "up the middle" motion. Also, there is a far deeper purist sentiment in the UK that would not put up with a marked/destroyed pitch. That level of concern from MLSE would be surprising.

This issue has been a thorn in TFC fans' sides for seven long years and their fears are genuine - not irrational. Looking at the concerns and how MLSE will attempt to appease fears will be the dominant controversy of this season and likely many going forward.

THE PITCH: Tim Leiweke has been downright adamant that grass will stay at BMO Field and that apparently some amazing new peel-off paint science is available. Uh-huh. Show us where Tim or are we to believe that MLSE has a team of scientists working on a completely unknown technology? Amazing! Hot air too. As for the pitch, we give it half-a-season of Argo-sharing before the choice to move to at least a plastic hybrid is no longer a choice but a necessity.

THE INTIMACY: Another area where #LeiwekeLeaks has made bold promises. The "soccer experience" will only be enhanced... apparently. As citizens of the South Stand since 2007, we know that maintaining our current distance to the pitch while housing a CFL end zone would have to include retractable seats. This would mean a complete tear out of the current South Stand and concourse, a major excavation and re-build and the likely diversion of Princes' Blvd. We are talking a construction of that section alone that may rival BMO Field's original cost. In other words, the first likely candidate in cost-overrun chopping.

A ROOF: Hard to argue. Any TFC supporter who has suffered through extreme cold then extreme heat then extreme cold again over the course of a season wants one. Too bad we weren't important enough to get one without the Argos. This is what you will be sold on - if being dry and watching footy on gridiron lines is your thing - you'll be pleased.

With all this being said, we are not organizing a bonfire night for your season tickets yet. Everyone has to ask themselves what they are willing to put up with. If they day comes where you show up for an August TFC fixture and you can't quite tell where the penalty box is due to CFL paint then it is entirely up to you if you want to stay. We will not be there - we tend to believe quite a few of you won't be back either.

We desperately want to be wrong about these worst-case scenarios but fear we are not. Suddenly the big signings that breathed life into this corpse of a football club seem a dark, cynical ploy to appease us, get us to renew our season tickets and then drop a bomb on us.

Prove us wrong Tim Leiweke and MLSE. There is no "oops it didn't really work" once you have shoehorned in the Argos into "Our House" - just an MLS franchise akin to an expensive NY/NJ MetroStars that many notoriously "top level or nothing" Toronto fans will turn up their noses at.



#LeiwekeLeaks putting our security at risk

"So many microphones... sweet, sweet microphones"

 

Just when TFC supporters thought they could have an off-season full of optimism about a bright future, the Foghorn Leghorn of sports executives went at it again.

Tim Leiweke just can't stop.

In his ongoing intense, steamy love affair with any open microphone, Leiweke was bathing in the Winter Classic success that was the Maple Leafs vs. Red Wings in Ann Arbour, Michigan on New Year's Day. His epiphany? To expand BMO Field to a monstrous (MLS monstrous) 40,000 seats by 2017 to host that year's version of the game and perhaps even... wait for it... a Grey Cup.

How conveeeeeeeenient! CFL football at BMO Field! Why it's almost as if the 40,000 seats in this "big, big money" (big, big public money) expansion were to cater to a financially floundering, soon to be homeless local CFL team and has absolutely NOTHING to do with the current and original tenants.

Tim Leiweke just can't stop.

But we must. We have written about this Argos to BMO garbage since 2007. We will never be positive about it. (just click the tag TORONTO ARGONAUTS or ARGOS at the bottom of this piece for reminding) It is a terrible idea with only one group paying the penalty of the folly - the TFC supporter.

Instead, we recommend you read these two interesting pieces (here and here) for more in-depth analysis of the latest flurry of #LeiwekeLeaks.

Tim Leiweke just can't stop.

So, until there are concrete things to talk about on this truly never ending story, we will simply offer nature's embodiment of Tim Leiweke seeing a hot mic.
 


Just one heads up Mr. Leiweke, no amount of Jermain Defoseses will ever cover up CFL markings on a ruined BMO Field pitch. We will leave. Many others will too. You will patronize with words about "not declaring war" on TFC supporters but it is just words because if you think we are so incredibly stupid to believe an expansion costing more than the stadium itself is for our benefit... we must not have your respect.

Ass.
(Pictured above.)
(What did you think we meant?)

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC executives' reactions to the MLS Cup Final

Cool! The MLS Cup Lego set!

One of the neat-o perks of being a hanger-onner executive at a football club (or national association *cough* CSA *cough*) is that you get to jet around to cup finals even if your team has no place even being mentioned in the same sentence as "championship". *Cough* TFC *cough*. Anycraps, there were surely a suited and booted phalanx of "important" MLSE executives at Saturday's exciting yet frigid final in Kansas City. You have to wonder though... what did they think of during the whole big show?

11. "We don't get it - how did these two franchises get so good without an expensive, washed-up European DP?!"

10. "Look at how much extra official merchandise these fans snap up when they are freezing cold!"... "Hello Mr. Garber? Yes - we fully support your winter schedule idea."

9. "So you're saying we can't really use 'BEST FANS IN THE LEAGUE' in our pandering PR anymore? But it's all we had!"

8. "I have no idea why TFC fans always want a roof like this one - the boxes at BMO Field always keep me warm and dry. Whiners."

7. "Wow the attendance is so good here, I wonder what immigrant community they are pretending to honour tonight?"

6. "This chip butty tastes like brisket."

5. "Jeez, look how well Sporting KC has treated their supporters - we should be so ashamed of ourselves." " Do you think we could charge $20 for beer next year?"

4. "This stadium is pretty nice but it sure could maximize its profit margin if they moved a CFL team in. Just sayin'."

3. "Personally, I feel that avoiding these nasty cold weather playoffs is a kindness to our fans. I'd go as far as saying we're heroes. We are heroes."

2. "Oh I hope Jermain Defoe isn't watching this and getting his hopes too high!"

1. "What is this MLS Cup thing anyways?"

 

EDITORIAL: "It's all gone quiet over there!" TFC adopts a quiet approach to the off-season

You have no idea how hard it is to find a mouth-closed picture.

Perhaps Tim Leiweke and his posse down at BMO Field have been listening to Rob Ford's faux-bravado "actions speak louder than words" phrase - or maybe they're all on crack. It's your call. One thing few TFC supporters won't deny though is the strange sound coming from the local football club... silence. While the off-season is still young, the usually overly verbose club has been noticeably muted. 　

Now this is not in any way a complaint, we are definitely fans of substance over style but it is a glaring difference from the past seven years. While there has so far been little to speak of surrounding the club (apart from the latest high profile DP to turn their nose up at The Reds) it is unusual for the Lakeshore House of Promos to stop flapping their gums for this long. Is this an unexpected maturity from the club or is there more to it? 　

The front office has indeed had a change of personality, with the likes of former public faces such as Paul Beirne and the well-liked Asif Hossain moving on to greener pastures, but other aspects of TFC winters are missing as well. Gone are the pub crawls, post-season wrap parties and often hilarious town halls of years past. While we here have never been massive fans of any of these glad-handing events, other fans have rightfully enjoyed them. Some of these fans are now feeling a lack of "personal presence" from their club.

EDITORIAL: "It's all gone quiet over there..." But does TFC really care?

The blurst of times.

With apologies to the majority of the BMO Field population (circa 2007-2013), Toronto FC's image was built in large part on the visage of the South Stand. Now in no way are we claiming that the supporters in the south are more valuable or important than any others in the ground but it was the sizzle of the "European atmosphere" that TFC immediately harnessed to carve their place in Toronto's crowded sports entertainment market.

For the first few seasons, the club and its "benevolent" owners were handed a sweet gift from PR heaven - an organic (for the most part), grassroots supporter culture that was the talk of the town. Nary was a TFC ad or promo seen without the obligatory smoke-strewn, flag-waving, streamer-laden "Ultra" supporter that most other MLS markets lacked at the time. Word was out - Toronto had "the best fans in the league (TM)" and MLSE was more than happy to bottle it. The team thingamajig could come later.

Sadly, in true MLSE fashion, their promotional eyes grew too big for their belly and the fervent support they were so happy to promote was not rewarded... but rather milked. BMO Field ticket prices rose and game day expenses grew while expensive friendlies were shoehorned in on the back of this seemingly unquenched thirst for local football. Again, all while failing to meet the one request their fiery fans salivated over - a competitive side of their own.

Seven long and very unfruitful seasons later and the South Stand is a shadow of its former self. Large patches of empty seats and most noticeably an atmosphere that has gone from "European" down to "USL" levels. It is not a from lack of desire, no, TFC fans deserve all credit for still even discussing this team, rather it is the death by a thousand cuts of broken promises, greed and sheer drudgery. With the lowering in volume in the south, the rest of BMO Field has followed to become a fairly passion-free ground. The question is: do TFC and their owners actually care?

"It's not us, it's you" - The fun has left BMO Field as TFC's only claim to fame fizzles

"Can you feel the passion? Umm...guys? Can you feel it?"

It was always going to be this way. As far back as the first home fixture in 2007, Toronto FC was based on a house of cards that was "the great atmosphere". It didn't help when the assembled North American football media got in line to stroke the club and its supporters’ egos for managing to introduce a "European match atmosphere" to MLS. The club, so wrapped up in this unexpected phenomenon, took a path that would see them bathe in their fans' "ultra" imagery and lean on this as the be all and end all of Toronto's re-born football scene. This golden calf invariably lead them to doing the one thing that would eventually slay this unexpected idol - they didn't bother to build a football club for it.

　
This is old news to 99% of you reading this. The many re-births, the conveyor belt of management and the eternal continuation of "Five-Year Plans" have become the stuff of local farce. Until recently however, the supporters who have graciously, and against all odds, continued to attend TFC matches met the club's lifelong struggles with gallows humour and a frustrated resilience. The once exalted atmosphere, while steadily decreasing, seemed strong enough to at least allow the ground's denizens a fun day out. For those of you who go to TFC matches regularly are likely aware, and as a note to those that do not, the fun has gone.
　
It is palpable in the air. Joviality towards our lovable bumbling squad has turned into hostility and - far worse - deafening apathy. There is not an ounce of blame available to put on a single supporter or group who still attends due to their genuine affection for TFC (or at least the sport) as most are all out of spirit. The club has beaten it out of their fans through a battle of below-mediocre attrition that few fans would be willing to endure. Yes there are fans of other clubs around the world who have suffered through worse but they likely support a club with history and past glories to lean on. In Toronto, supporters can only lean on paper-thin promises of better days ahead. A Herculean sales pitch that MLSE likely didn't expect to have to make.
　
The question thus becomes - how will the club sell a day out at a match? There is a palpable fear that the ownership will begin to panic soon. The original recipe for success was selling a football experience that was as close to "old world" sensibilities as you could find in North America. There was a refreshing lack of bottled Arena Football-esque bottled atmosphere. The near organic supporter culture papered over the rapidly exposed ills of a poorly managed team. But when this is gone, how will an ownership that has a PhD in "Sizzle over Steak" react?

Kevin relief.... wait....

Jump up. Jump up. Wait for it.... and get down.



A landmark occasion for Toronto FC supporting and punning as the club concluded its seven year exhaustive search today by naming Kevin Payne as Club President and General Manager. As reported here yesterday - as well as in almost every other football medium in North America - the worst kept secret in Major League Soccer was officially unveiled this afternoon. Payne, long-time president of D.C. United, has accepted what is arguably the most challenging of roles in MLS - clearing up six seasons of absolutely wasted time and resource and finally putting the "C" in TFC.
　
After years of expecting the worse from this club, and more recently having press conferences leaving heads shaking for days, today turned out to be a surprise. A pleasant one. From the moment Emperor Palpatine Tom Anselmi stopped talking and Kevin Payne began, it was like witnessing TFC grow up before our eyes. Gone was corporate double-speak, off-the-cuff ramblings and snarky blame-gaming instead replaced by thoughtful, assured and most importantly, professional answers delivered by a man who actually looks and sounds like a leader.
　
Yes, we have all been on the TFC False Dawn train before so it is hard to give in to the positive feelings fully - but - you couldn't help feel optimistic over Payne who claimed that "this is the only job in MLS he would have left D.C. for". Expectedly, the new President and GM said all the right things about the owners and the existing staff but we were left with the feeling that fools won't be suffered gladly for long at BMO Field. Those wishing for an unrealistic massive overhaul of personnel will be left wanting and indeed things may not improve on the field immediately but for today, and for the first time since 2007, many TFC fans believe that the man in charge actually knows what he's doing. Time will tell of course, but a bit of belief is more than we've had in a very long time.
　
Now MLSE, leave the man alone to do his job. Yours truly… everyone.

A sudden blast of Winter

Odd man out

The man could always "pity" a disappointing result while managing TFC but apparently he can't pity the fools he claims are now in charge. A day after being repeatedly thrown under a transatlantic bus by Paul Mariner and Earl Cochrane, former TFC bench boss Aron Winter spoke to Sportsnet's John Molinaro (here) to give a glimpse into his side of things.

 

While the Dutchman had no negatives to say about the club, the city or even MLSE and Tom Anselmi he was about as charitable with Mariner and Cochrane as they crassly were with him at yesterday's end of season press conference. "…those guys aren't good enough. I don't think they can do good things for the club" said Winter who claims his sudden break in silence is over genuine concern for the club's future.

 

The former boss also threw down a gauntlet of sorts to the shockingly over-confident Mariner & Co. by adding "If they think they're so great, let's see them do it. But I don't think they're good enough. They don't have quality,". This of course less than 24 hours after Paul Mariner gruffly announced to the gathered media "I'm very good at what I do."

 

Opinion will be split over this latest exchange. Sadly, TFC supporters' and observers' feelings on the Mariner vs. Winter front have become as hard-lined as American Democrat vs. Republican election banter. Lots of shouting involved but very little listening. Those who think Winter deserved more time and feel his plan was being sabotaged will find vindication while Mariner backers will see this as nothing more than a bitter failed manager trying to save his reputation.

 

One thing every TFC supporter should agree upon is that it is a crying shame that yet another managerial regime has ended under a mysterious cloud of supposed backroom subterfuge. In the grand tradition of John Carver, Chris Cummins and well... anyone in a TFC coaching capacity - this is once again an ugly stain on Toronto's reputation. One that prospective manager's of the future will long keep in mind. Whichever side of this argument you tend to side with - you have to agree that this is not good for this already wounded club.

THE STARTING 11: Other places to lay blame for Toronto FC's woes

Stupid playoff-wrecking low high pressure weather front!



Ah, Fall in Toronto. Glorious foliage, golden sunsets, and the annual pointing of fingers. Nowhere does the passing of the autumnal buck waft as beautifully as through the corridors of Toronto FC. For anyone with a limited knowledge of this tumultuous club (but reading the local newspapers over the last few days) you may be lead to believe TFC's failures were down to: an oppressive New York-based conspiracy; professional footballers being forced to wear suits over flip-flops; the agony of being paid to watch game film to improve one's game; or... shock-horror... a fat player having to play some extra minutes with reserves to shed pancake-weight. Oh the huge manatee! It is hard work trying to lay blame on a scapegoat while running a club into the ground at the same time so we offer TFC these handy other blame-ternatives...
　
11. Pressure from the violent and oppressive Bermudian Government regime to use their players... or else!
　
10. Busy trying to figure out if it should be spelled "Five Year Plan" or "5-year-plan"
　
9. Damn Raivis Hscanovics never fulfilled his abundant potential!
　
8. Hard to get over the long-lasting disappointment from the lacklustre sequels to "The Matrix"
　
7. No time to prepare for next season when you have to give unattributed interviews to local columnists every day!
　
6. Handshake deals no longer being upheld by the Supreme Court
　
5. The greedy NHLPA keeps blocking our plans
　
4. The crippling European Debt Crisis and the resulting shortage in full-length trousers
　
3. HURRICANES!!!
　
2. Don Garber's childish War of 1812 grudge
　
1. Had to get rid of all those loud fans at BMO Field before we could properly concentrate
　
And… since we love to listen to our readers’ suggestions… here is a piece of suitable classical music we should have used yesterday but still suits this special occasion… the new TFC Anthem…

"OMG! Rollback prices are like sooooo 2007!"

"Keep rollin', rollin' rollin'..."



We haven't had to eat a lot of crow in regards to Toronto FC over the years but today they prepared us a wee Crow Butty. While most supporters have been very vocal in their demand for lower prices on season tickets in 2013 before renewing - we had little belief that the club would actually come through. For a change, they proved us wrong. Very wrong.
　
In a seemingly spontaneous (but obviously not) media gathering today, MLSE President Tom Anselmi announced a major rollback in season ticket pricing which will see existing TFC season ticket holders pay the same amount they did for their seats in 2007. Claiming a need for a renewal in the club's "relationship with the fans", Anselmi introduced the scheme which among other incentives will include a ticket to the season opener... in Montreal's Olympic Stadium. The MLSE Board Meeting where this was all hashed out must have been spewing painful, money-losing fire and brimstone.
　
Jokes aside, we give kudos to TFC/MLSE for making the right decision for their fans. It is a move that will staunch the bleeding of season ticket holders and just maybe give supporters less of a feeling of being used and abused by the ownership. That being said, short-term forgiveness will not be followed with forgetfulness from fans as it was six years of bumbling that forced MLSE’s hand today – not jolly goodwill towards men.
　
Indeed, all football sins will not be dismissed by supporters but a reprieve may be offered in 2013. Many who weren't going to return to BMO Field may do so now but they will still require one more solution in the long-term… better football. While Anselmi offered few details beyond post-season analysis of the on-field product, he definitely did not go as far as offering Paul Mariner & Co. a vote of confidence. Some media in attendance have taken this as a broadside for further personnel changes before 2013 but that remains to be seen.
　
You did a correct move today Toronto FC. Supporters will appreciate it for the most part. But... it was "A" move and not "THE" move necessary for restoring the once vaunted BMO Field "atmosphere" that Anselmi referred to today. Use the goodwill you got from some supporters today as a springboard to fix the club on the pitch next - don't rest on financial laurels... again. Give us wins and we will give you more atmosphere than you can measure. Prove us wrong again please. We will happily eat more tasty, tasty crow.

Sink or sail? Pros and cons of a solo Mariner

The Good Ship TFC: "We're not sinking... we're resting"

When Canadian Soccer News reported yesterday that Paul Mariner and Earl Cochrane would be the go-ahead guys at TFC in 2013, the news was met with a resounding "meh". Overall, little will change on the outside with likely tweaks to job titles which will reportedly see Mariner in more of an old-school "manager" role - responsible for player acquisitions and football decisions - while Cochrane will be a "general manager" but only in a contract, salary cap and MLS Miscellany vein. Tumbleweeds.
　
While yet to be formally announced, immediate reaction from TFC supporters has been tepid at best. "More of the same" when many are baying for (yet another) overhaul. However, there IS apparently a big asterisk on the proposed "shuffle"... if Mariner and Cochrane can't manage to steer The Reds to the playoffs in 2013, then it's the axe for both. This will obviously not be announced or written into any contract but is not hard to believe. So, full steam ahead with the (Increasingly) Ancient Mariner... but will it be smooth sailing or yet more rough seas?
　
MARINER'S VISION
PRO: The days of the solo manager may seem like an old British relic to some. Most large clubs today employ some form of a Director of Football role or in the least a management backroom committee. While the single manager seems more like the structure of lower division English clubs, for a team like TFC that is pretty bereft of football knowledge, perhaps having one determined footballing vision is at the very least, stabilizing.
CON: The negative side of putting all our eggs in one Englishman (ew.) is how much we trust said manager. Is Paul Mariner the footballing tactician and man manager you would trust with your club? Many TFC and MLS observers seem to think that given time, the bombastic ex-Tractor Boy will make good but there are increasing voices lately who are very concerned that his overly simplistic (or lacking) tactical prowess, emotional outbursts that lead to some strange exclamations (see Andrew Wiedeman's finishing) and man management is questionable.
　
THE BLAME GAME:
PRO: Over the years at TFC a common post-disaster theme has been to blame either your predecessor or some "shady" dealings behind the scenes which got in the way of implementing your "plan". From the days of Mo Johnston trying to play "puppet manager" over John Carver and Chris Cummins up to rumours of Aron Winter's Coch-blocked player acquisitions, there has always been an X-Files feel to the TFC backroom. With Mariner as the main man, there would be only one man with the footballing decisions at his feet - and only one man to blame if it all goes wrong (again).
CON: Once again, this harkens back to trust in Mariner. If he will indeed wield all of the power in squad and tactical development - is he the man most suited? Is it a danger to give Mariner this "absolute power" with few suitable experienced football men surrounding him to balance his choices?
　
PLAYOFFS OR BUST
PRO: As mentioned above, a big asterisk over this "promotion" seems to be that it is playoffs in 2013 or the sack for "The Marine Cochologists" (again, ew.). While "making the playoffs" seems to be MLSE's sad zenith of success, we can visit that mediocre reality another time. In the here and now, perhaps having that clear goal and the baby steps of progress that would be necessary to achieve that, is a manageable goal for 2013. Anyone planning an MLS Cup parade would be dreaming in Technicolor.
CON: Our friends at Waking The Red look at this point well in further detail but the danger of setting this goal could be the club's very future. If Mariner knows that grabbing 8th Place is all he needs to keep his job, will he be willing to sell the farm as next summer's transfer window shuts to achieve it? Would his and Cochrane's personal employment status force their hands into making "quick-fix" decisions that could gamble away TFC's future? Would draft-picks and/or prospects be scuttled away for an aging fixer to simply grab the last spot in the Conference and a chance to lose 4-0 in the 1st Round?
　
THE EARL NECKLACE
PRO: Having long-term company-man Earl Cochrane, who many will go out of their way to tell you is an MLS and salary cap maestro, as Paul Mariner's economic nuts and bolts man could be very helpful to the manager. In a perfect scenario, this could leave Mariner to put his 100% attention into footballing decisions while an in-step Cochrane could take care of all the numerical headaches of contracts, salaries and whatever other alchemy Major League Soccer throws at its clubs.
CON: In many circles, Earl Cochrane represents much that is wrong with MLSE as an ownership. A man that has managed to survive years of worse than mediocre results while apparently overseeing some of TFC's more embarrassing snafu's (De Ro "not being" in Glasgow; Plata "not being" in Ecuador and, ahem, Nathan Sturgis for a 1st Round Pick). With TFC's backroom again being similar to the KGB, Cochrane's level of involvement is never fully clear but to many, he carries the label (fairly or unfairly) as Tom Anselmi's acolyte who manages to always come out smelling like roses while a more experienced football mind still goes missing at the top of TFC's management hierarchy.
　
THE MANAGEMENT STABLE
PRO: The only constant through six years of TFC seasons is change. The instability has been a bane of the club's existence for many years with one clown car pulling up just as the last one leaves. More managers than you can shake a chip butty at and a front office that can briefly boast the football genius Jim Brennan as one of its higher-ups is the running joke of MLS. While the Mariner/Cochrane combo isn't exactly a footballing dream team, it may give the club stability and familiarity in which will be a true "make-or-break" off-season.
CON: The unholy trinity. Ask many TFC supporters (who are still unsure if they will renew season tickets) what is wrong with the club and they will rifle off the names: Tom Anselmi, Earl Cochrane and then (with a bit more distance) Paul Mariner. While the club can dress up this proposed management shake-up with new titles, new roles and a new sense of urgency - in the end, those same fans will look at the club and say (a more hidden) Tom Anselmi is still calling the shots while Paul Mariner is running about like a chicken with his head cut off (wearing shorts) while Earl Cochrane tries to end up with no blood on his hands awaiting his next internal promotion.
　
As with most things TFC, only time will tell but the over-arching theme with these proposed moves is "well, what else can we do?" There is no Sir Alex Mourinho waiting outside of BMO Field waiting to fix everything and no one is really in the mood for another grand plan only to see it abandoned in 15 months’ time. It is what it is, and there is something about Mariner that many fans would like to see succeed in Toronto. We hope that the affable and flammable Lancashire man can indeed steer TFC into smooth waters because if he doesn't - the "bust" side of "playoffs or bust" may very well be the club as a whole.

Balls of String: Stories to watch as Toronto FC plays out a lost season

"Today's attendance is 19,575... thank you fans"



Getting casual fans to watch TFC matches when times were good... well at least fun.... was a challenge. Now, as yet another season enters the "playing for next year" phase, even getting the most ardent supporters interested grows harder. For those of you who know they are addicted to this club and will be back next year despite 2012, finding a reason to watch a futile string of matches may be frustrating. So, if you need more reasons to watch a match aside from hearing Thomas Rongen's Dutch "donkey hitting his foot on a rock" analogy - here are some stories that you can keep your eye on...
　
FRINGS AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE
When we last heard, the club whispered under its breath that club captain Torsten Frings had suffered a hip injury and had headed back to Deutschland to visit some BundesDoctors. The wording seemed to hint that Frings may be shut down for the year and if that is the case - is it unreasonable to think that TFC may cut ties with the Bavarian talisman? Frings has definitely lost a step this season (possibly due to injury) but with only a year left on the pricey 35-year old, will the club look in a different direction? Also see: Danny Koevermans
NOW UPDATED WITH 50% MORE HORRIBLE TRUTH (HERE)
　
EL MILAGRO DE LA CONCACAF
Most sane Reds supporters would concede that TFC's 3-1 loss to Santos Laguna at BMO Field all but ends the club's quest to progress in Champions League. While all signs point to "no way Jose", could TFC pull out a miraculous double of victories in Mexico and El Salvador AND get help to steal their CCL Group?
　
4-4-?
While not exactly blessed with a plethora of football knowledge in his starting eleven, Paul Mariner's tactics as manager have been described (sometimes fairly, sometimes not) as "dump and chase" or "hoof ball". Decried as a relic of 1960's English football, the style has even drawn mocking from opponents and without the scoring prowess of Danny Koevermans has not been effective. Will Mariner try to massage a little more "football" into his soccer in an attempt to separate the wheat from the chaff in his squad?
　
THAT ONE'S A KEEPER
It seems pretty evident that a TFC keeper is being frozen. No, not by an opponent from the penalty spot but by the coaching staff. After Stefan Frei went down with a major injury, Milos Kocic became the defacto # 1 but recently he has been replaced by very raw Bermudian Freddy Hall. Is Kocic's benching a sign that his TFC days are numbered and is Frei headed back to his place as The Reds' main man in goal for 2013?
　
END OF THE ROAD?
We may only see them if garbage minutes allow but it would seem as if 2012 may mark the end for a few old faces. Adrian Cann and Ty Harden have been phantoms (even when not injured) and do not seem to fit into Mariner's plans while other names such as Eric Avila have been surprising in their omissions. More than a few Reds may be down to their last few weeks with the club.
　
PETER OUT OR "PAUL" UP?
The on-field performance lately has been far from inspiring. Lack of talent is one thing but coming out flat is just downright infuriating for fans to watch. With little to play for except clichés, will we see a scrappy TFC inspired by their manager - or, will heads and effort levels drop in unison as other teams prepare for the playoffs?
　
CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE?
Will the blend of injuries and general lack of talent on the club allow Paul Mariner to "audition" the younger members of the team for 2013? While a few veterans will be necessary to give the appearance of "trying" to win, the remaining fixtures may be an opportunity to see what youngsters can really cut it at the MLS level. While the likes of Ashtone Morgan and Luis Silva have solidified a future, names like Aaron Maund, Quincy Amarikwa, Matt Stinson and Logan Emory still need to show they have the consistency to demand a salary next year.
　
BIT OF A HASSLI
The imposing Frenchman avec le tattoos du neck was brought over to TFC as something of a panic buy after Danny Koevermans went down for the season and beyond. As far as panic buys go, he's a fairly good one - despite likely being able to snatch him for free at the end of 2012 if the injury hadn't forced Mariner's hand. However, Hassli has yet to find any consistency and has been far from the replacement needed up top. The Reds once again find themselves desperate for a consistent goalscorer but will Hassli find the form in the last few weeks of 2012 to warrant his pricey return?
　
TICKETS! WHO NEEDS 'EM, WHO WANTS "EM?
Oh to be a TFC Season Ticket Rep over the next few months. Not an enviable task. Through no fault of their own (except guilt by association), these poor souls will have to convince TFC season ticket holders to hand over wads of cash for yet another season that is yet to hold promise of much different. Many Day One ticket holders are finally calling it a day and casual support is bleeding on a weekly basis. Will MLSE have the Saputo-prodded smarts to lower season tickets across the board? GASP! Will they freeze ticket prices once again? Can they offer anything to the long-abused to avoid TFC matches from resembling FC Dallas matches? This is a question that only time will tell.
　
C.O.-OH NO!
The inevitable coronation of Tom Anselmi to MLSE's COO (aka head virgin sacrificer) will have many TFC supporters rolling their eyes. How a man so directly involved with the slaying of a golden goose is exalted to one of North America's highest sports management positions is beyond us, but hey. Maple Leafs and Raptors fans are suddenly screaming that "the sky is falling", but to them we say... "you are absolutely right". Welcome to our world. From a TFC slant, it will be interesting to see if Anselmi continues his iron grip over the club or if in a move of appeasement, an actual football man (not looking at you Earl Cochrane or Jim Brennan) is put into place as a TFC "President". Either that or the new owners move the Argos into BMO, get us a fluffy mascot, thundersticks and the TFC City Dancers. Whatevs.

THE STARTING 11: Special features during Toronto FC's "Support The Troops Day"

Paul Mariner. Next Saturday.



If you are attending next Saturday's match versus New England at BMO Field you may notice fatigues. No, not the fatigue of supporting TFC but military fatigues as MLSE has designated the match as a "Support The Troops" day - a feature they have tried with their two other stellar professional clubs. Now it's up to you if you want to see this as a genuine thanks to the hard-working Canadian military - or as a cynical bathing of MLSE's brand, in order to deflect criticism, through the feigned wrapping of themselves in Canadian patriotism (see the Conservative Party of Canada) - your call. Either way, there will be a whole host of military personnel and their families on hand because... how better to celebrate Canadian Defences than by forcing them to watch a team that can't defend? As part of the day, there will be a few extra features to distract your fatigue(s)...
　
11. Promotional T-Shirt cannon... an actual cannon
　
10. Paul Mariner to dress as 19th Century British officer
　
9. TFC to be camouflaged... as a competitive team
　
8. Tom Anselmi's football credentials to remain A.W.O.L.
　
7. World War II veterans in attendance allowed to call Torsten Frings "that bloody Jerry!"
　
6. Adrian Cann to sing "In The Navy" at Halftime
　
5. Reds to honour The War of 1812 by losing 18-12
　
4. Supporters to aim 21-gun salute at MLSE corporate suite
　
3. Jim Brennan to dye soul patch khaki
　
2. In a salute to Canada's fine armoured divisions - TFC to tank
　
1. Ship Buttys
　

And... since Adrian Cann sounds a bit like Grover and the ownership are a bunch of muppets...

End of Winter leaves a flurry of questions

Goodbye sweet pun-maker.



As a warning, this article will leave you with far more questions than answers but a day after Aron Winter's "mutually agreed" departure from Toronto FC - we can't help but being left with many queries. The Dutchman's tenure, which started with such excitement upon his arrival, never gained enough momentum to build upon the small successes until it reached a point where the club's record made his dismissal inevitable. There were random bright spots which many thought would usher in a new era of success but most turned out to be false dawns. Why Aron Winter, by all accounts a very bright football mind, couldn't find the answer to bringing winning football to Toronto FC will likely be debated at length but for now, we are dogged with these few questions...
　
DID ARON WINTER FULLY "GET" MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER?
It's a funny league, this MLS. In simplistic terms it is mostly a push-and-run type league played at a pace and ferocity not too unlike the lower portion of the English Championship. While there are dashes of highly skilled and technical play on some of the clubs, the winning formula usually comes down to pace, athleticism and hard-nosed defending. However, apart from style comes the necessity to understand how to build your squad within MLS' very unique squad structures. With the salary cap and international restrictions hampering a new coach's choices, did Aron Winter ever get his head around the fact that he needed to use existing MLS talent as part of his rebuild? Few MLS clubs have met success without having a few established MLS "stars" in their starting eleven.
　
WAS "TOTAL FOOTBALL" TO AMBITIOUS FOR MLS?
While he never referred to his chosen "Dutch-style" as "Total Football" it was an easy way for the lay-person to get their head around Winter's plans. One has to wonder in hindsight though - did Winter try to run in this league before he could walk? While the idea of bringing the Ajax structure to Toronto, from our youngest Academy players up to the First Team, was one that had Reds' fans dreaming of a North American superclub - was it perhaps naive? Did Winter need a transitional system to usher in his complete system that could have seen a few more instant results while the bigger picture was gradually brought in?
　
WAS WINTER TOO STUBBORN?
This was a criticism held in many circles. Despite loss after loss and a full 2011 season that only saw six league victories, Winter doggedly stuck to his 4-3-3 formation. While you can almost credit the man for having such conviction in his beliefs, there were many times that the squad on the field simply couldn't handle the responsibility and high football IQ needed to effectively play that style. If Winter could have found a little flexibility in his tactics would he still be manager today?
　
WAS ORIGINALLY HIRING PAUL MARINER A RECIPE FOR DISASTER?
"One of these men just doesn't belong..." seemed to be the tune associated with the picture of Winter, Bob de Klerk and Paul Mariner when they were hired together. While Mariner seemed to be "the MLS mind" put in place to help the two league newbies wade through North America, just how well could they mesh? As far as footballing backgrounds go, two men reared in Ajax philosophy couldn't be further from a man who played in the long-ball era of English football and got his coaching chops in North America and Football League One. Was this a triumvirate that could never truly see eye-to-eye?
　
WAS THERE A POWER STRUGGLE?
TFC is run like a secret society so these questions will never be answered for certain but there seemed to be enough rumours being leaked to believe fractures had formed in the front office. As results and success continued to elude the club, was there a philosophical borderline drawn at BMO Field? Were there indeed two sides, one continuing to push for the Dutch system implementation with the other calling for a return to a more tried and tested "MLS style"? If this was the case, could success ever have been achieved by Winter?
　
WAS WINTER BLOCKED FROM MAKING MOVES?
One of the biggest side rumours that came out of the above mentioned rift was that Aron Winter was being stymied when it came to making player moves. Rumours swirled recently that Earl Cochrane still had a great deal of influence over transactions (and the backing of Tom Anselmi), and as an acolyte of the "MLS style", was making it difficult for Aron Winter to bring in players that would suit his tactics. If it is true that the club is pushed up against the salary cap as much as expected then there wouldn't be too much that Cochrane or anyone else could do to make things more difficult, however, any scenario which didn't see all members of the backroom staff pulling in the same direction would surely be a toxic environment.
　
DID THE DP SIGNINGS RAISE EXPECTATIONS TOO HIGH?
While few would find fault in adding players like Torsten Frings and Danny Koevermans to the squad - did their presence (and salary) change what was expected from Aron Winter in the eyes of fans and the ownership? Winter let it slip once in the off-season that the playoffs in 2012 were no certainty but when you add two expensive players with little peak time left in their careers, isn't there a feeling that immediate results should be forthcoming? It certainly mustn’t be easy for a player with a winning pedigree like Torsten Frings to see his career peter out in such circumstances but did having him on the team put expectations of immediate success on a timetable that was quicker than Winter could handle?
　
WAS THE JIM BRENNAN MOVE MADE TO NUDGE WINTER OUT?
When the vastly under experienced Jim Brennan was placed into to Assistant Coach's role a few weeks back, many TFC fans saw a much darker Machiavellian maneuver. Not only was a well-known "company man" being put into the # 2 role on the bench but it was also in the place of Aron Winter's friend and confidante Bob de Klerk. It is impossible to say if there was a souring of relations between Winter and de Klerk since that move was made but it must have put Winter in a very uncomfortable position. But was that the point? Did the ownership - so weary of the bad optics of firing another coach - want Winter to get so frustrated that he would walk on his own thus leaving Anselmi & Co. with no blood on their hands?
　
WHAT DID MLSE EXPECT BY NOW?
Amidst the smug platitudes dished out by Tom Anselmi at yesterday's press conference was the admission that things were "not good enough". Few TFC supporters would argue that things were even close to great but what did the owners want as of June 2012? Did they believe that four previous years of stunning mismanagement allowed under their watch would be erased in a year and a half? While most of us would have liked TFC to be in the playoff hunt this year, many also saw that it was an outside shot. No one here will overestimate MLSE's utter lack of football knowledge sat around their luxurious boardrooms but did they truly believe "this was the year"? Considering that their near-playoff appearance (mistakenly said to be in 2007 under John Carver!!!) was trotted out as a sign that "things aren't so bad" you can't think that their aims were sky-high - or was it the ever decreasing crowds (and revenues) that led them to wanting to appear "proactive"?
　
WAS WINTER'S DISMISSAL TOO QUICK?
A little bit of success under new manager Paul Mariner will erase lingering frustration with Aron Winter over time but we will never know if the Dutchman's grand dream could have ever worked. Yes, his time here left a legacy of greater importance on the Academy and homegrown players but whether or not we could have seen TFC playing "beautiful" Dutch-style football in MLS is lost. His firing is not unjustified - few managers in football would have survived a 0-5 start let alone a 0-9. However, it's hard not to believe that Aron Winter truly felt that he would be given, at the very least, his full three years to make his dream a reality. At the end of the day there were not enough signs that pointed to things heading in that direction. As TFC looks set to return to a more tested North American style, the one last question we may have when we one day look back on Aron Winter's tenure as TFC manager could be "what if"?

Winter out as Toronto FC fails to fire Tom Anselmi for sixth year running

"The Teflon Tom"

There was a great temptation today to go back and simply re-post whatever it was that we wrote when Mo Johnston "moved upstairs", John Carver "stepped down", Chris Cummins was axed, Preki was sacked and Nick Dasovic was tossed aside. We could have done that - but pressing "Ignore" in spellcheck every time "Anselmi" popped up would have been exhausting. So, instead of adding to the large amount of analysis that will surround Aron Winter's "resignation" today, we will honour the one mainstay of the past six years, Tom Anselmi, by just breaking today down into easy to digest press conference tidbits. Some are true, some maybe not-so-much but all have about the same value. For those of you expecting some longer deep analysis... maybe next August when new head coach Paul Mariner is fired we'll give it another go.
　
- Aron Winter "resigned" today despite being offered an opportunity to stay with TFC
- The job offered to Winter involved a Swiffer WetJet
- Winter and Tom Anselmi "mutually agreed" that it was best for the Dutchman to step down
- Despite being classy, Winter had a league record of 7-20-15
- Paul Mariner takes over the head coaching duties immediately
- Jim Brennan texts Anselmi "WTF! I thought we had a deal?"
- Tom Anselmi claims that team record was "not good enough"
- Tom Anselmi was in a sleep chamber for the last three months
- Mariner proclaims that existing players "good enough"
- Mariner refuses to say what they are "good enough" for
- Aron Winter actually left team to start boy band "The 5ive Year Planz" with Carver, Cummins, Dasovic and Preki
- Mariner backs away from Winter's preferred 4-3-3 formation - adds that "talk of systems annoys the piss out of him"
- Season ticket holders chomping at the bit to tell ticket reps that the ML$E circus "annoys the piss out of them"
- Bob de Klerk invented Dub Step
- Anselmi claims "the buck stops with him" but passes the buck quickly every time the media asks him a tough question
- Anselmi tells fans "not to see it as losing a head coach but more like gaining a future ex-coach"
- Club to play attractive "Total Plymouth Argyle" style
- Mariner says he is "very confident in his abilities"
- Hey! Liverpool are coming!
- Playoffs are very unlikely in 2012
- "Caribbean Carnival Night!"
- Six years, seven coaches...
- "Oktoberfest at BMO Field!"
- One of the few remaining employees from TFC Day One is still holding press conferences
- "Support The Troops?"
- Anselmi ends the conference by being carried out in a gold carriage while being fed grapes... waves hand with a flamboyant flourish and says "See you same time next year valued customers!"
　
We will have more in the coming days about the "End of Winter" but for now, if you want to re-live six other "Major TFC Announcements" go here. Or just wait until next summer. It's your call.

CHANTS ON GOAL: Dutch cats, fat cats and cats on tin roofs

Suarez Soolsma in da house!

Welcome to our newest regular feature "Chants on Goal" where we bring our Yorkies' flavour to TFC terrace songs and chants. We're not trying to reinvent the BMO Field choir-wheel but giving you a few of our ridiculous favourite "hits" for you to enjoy and, if you feel the musical urge, bring them to your corner of the stadium. While there may be an absence of "ole's" allez" "Reds" "rouges" "love" and/or "f*cks", we hope they may inspire your inner BMO-balladist!
　
Enjoy Nick Soolsma and his love for his pet cat Suarez? This feline fancy-tune may scratch that itch!

SOOLSMEOW MIX (to the "Meow Mix" theme song)
He likes chicken
He likes liver
Soolsma, Soolsma,
He delivers

meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow,

(optional second verse for you go-getters!)

Cat named Suarez
He's our winger
Soolsma, Soolsma
He delivers

meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow


　

Not feeling the love from the owners? No Beer! No Gear!

ROCK THE ML$E (to the tune of "Rock the Casbah")
Anselmi don't like us...
Don't stuff his cashbox!
Don't stuff his cashbox!

(repeat until everyone gets it)


　
　
Love everything from Salford including ginger defenders and Coronation Street? Put on your Deirdre glasses for this one..

ECKERNATION STREET (to the "Coronation Street" theme)
Oooooooh, Richard Eckersley
Plays right-back ginger-ly
Signed from Burnley
Richard Eckersley...



Got a song or a chant you tthink TFC supporters need to hear? Email it to us at theyorkies1812@gmail.com or send us the idea on Twitter @theyorkies1812 and we may feature it in a future "Chants on Goal"

THE MATCHUP: “Union Day" at BMO Field!

Danny Callif's button went unclaimed



TORONTO VS. PHILADELPHIA
　
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 4:30PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Okay. Is THIS the real "new beginning"? After every cup victory for TFC this year, much has been made that the result would be the catalyst for much needed league success. As we all know, that has yet to happen but if the team spirit isn't right after snagging the club's fourth Canadian Championship on Wednesday evening, it may never be. The timing may be right for The Reds to break their league duck as Union are as close to a fellow struggler as we could find. But... what if it doesn't happen? If TFC falls back into old habits and... gasp... go 0-10... what next? The ever cool Aron Winter doesn't seem too worried but with no more cup matches until Champions League, the league is where they must now find victory.
　
While we rarely rant in a pre-match (we leave that for every other post and Twitter), we nearly choked on our own prognostication when TFC emailed their "valued" season ticket holders yesterday to inform us of the exciting "Caribbean Carnival" and Oktoberfest" promotions on their way. We have always joked that when BMO Field got to be half-full that a truckload of thundersticks, the "TFC City Dancers" and adorable mascot "StrikerPup" (TM) would emerge but we didn't expect ML$E to bite so soon. This is exactly the kind of garbage that a club that is far more interested in profits than product pulls. The lack of this stupidity is what drew genuine football fans to TFC in the first place. BMO Field was NOT like most of the other MLS stadiums that were drowning in "family fun" promotions and thus became renowned for its "real football experience". So "Teflon" Tom Anselmi - if you want to pack the house again, cut out this promo trash and give your "real fans" what they want - a stable and successful club on the pitch.
　
If you want to read more on this very bad sign for the future of the club, we highly recommend our good friend Duncan Fletcher's article on the topic at Waking The Red.
　
Now back to regularly scheduled idiocy...
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Fresh Prince of Wales Trophy"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Torsten Frings, Danny Koevermans, Ashtone Morgan
PHILADELPHIA: Freddy Adu, Danny Mwanga, Carlos Valdes
　
THE ODDS:
ML$E gameday promotion on Saturday will be...
- "United Steelworkers present "Union Day": 3-1
- "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air-A-Palooza": 10-1
- "Snakes in the South Stand Day": 25-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
The Danny Koevermans-billed "Worst Team in the World" moniker has gotten TFC into some hot water as basketball's Washington Generals are contemplating legal action. The Generals, best-known as the Harlem Globetrotters' whipping boys, make their living off of the "World's Worst Team" angle and are unhappy at TFC's claim to infame. Luckily it seems like a compromise will be found as ML$E's promotions department is adding a special gameday event where The Generals will play a "soccer-basketball" friendly vs. Toronto FC. The Generals will dress as Caribbean Germans while TFC will wear their special "Support the Troops" camouflage kits (soon available at RealSports for $129.99). Members of Liverpool FC's reserve squad will be the game officials. "All For One $"!
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "UNION THUGS CROSS TFC LINES"

And now... because it's Friday and the Union have a snake on their badge... what else would we play? But since Duran Duran are unionized - here's some dude named Wilson from 1985...