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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Winter out as Toronto FC fails to fire Tom Anselmi for sixth year running

"The Teflon Tom"

There was a great temptation today to go back and simply re-post whatever it was that we wrote when Mo Johnston "moved upstairs", John Carver "stepped down", Chris Cummins was axed, Preki was sacked and Nick Dasovic was tossed aside. We could have done that - but pressing "Ignore" in spellcheck every time "Anselmi" popped up would have been exhausting. So, instead of adding to the large amount of analysis that will surround Aron Winter's "resignation" today, we will honour the one mainstay of the past six years, Tom Anselmi, by just breaking today down into easy to digest press conference tidbits. Some are true, some maybe not-so-much but all have about the same value. For those of you expecting some longer deep analysis... maybe next August when new head coach Paul Mariner is fired we'll give it another go.
- Aron Winter "resigned" today despite being offered an opportunity to stay with TFC
- The job offered to Winter involved a Swiffer WetJet
- Winter and Tom Anselmi "mutually agreed" that it was best for the Dutchman to step down
- Despite being classy, Winter had a league record of 7-20-15
- Paul Mariner takes over the head coaching duties immediately
- Jim Brennan texts Anselmi "WTF! I thought we had a deal?"
- Tom Anselmi claims that team record was "not good enough"
- Tom Anselmi was in a sleep chamber for the last three months
- Mariner proclaims that existing players "good enough"
- Mariner refuses to say what they are "good enough" for
- Aron Winter actually left team to start boy band "The 5ive Year Planz" with Carver, Cummins, Dasovic and Preki
- Mariner backs away from Winter's preferred 4-3-3 formation - adds that "talk of systems annoys the piss out of him"
- Season ticket holders chomping at the bit to tell ticket reps that the ML$E circus "annoys the piss out of them"
- Bob de Klerk invented Dub Step
- Anselmi claims "the buck stops with him" but passes the buck quickly every time the media asks him a tough question
- Anselmi tells fans "not to see it as losing a head coach but more like gaining a future ex-coach"
- Club to play attractive "Total Plymouth Argyle" style
- Mariner says he is "very confident in his abilities"
- Hey! Liverpool are coming!
- Playoffs are very unlikely in 2012
- "Caribbean Carnival Night!"
- Six years, seven coaches...
- "Oktoberfest at BMO Field!"
- One of the few remaining employees from TFC Day One is still holding press conferences
- "Support The Troops?"
- Anselmi ends the conference by being carried out in a gold carriage while being fed grapes... waves hand with a flamboyant flourish and says "See you same time next year valued customers!"
We will have more in the coming days about the "End of Winter" but for now, if you want to re-live six other "Major TFC Announcements" go here. Or just wait until next summer. It's your call.


  1. Agreed....what a shame, perfect case study of how a man (Anselmi) singlehandedly killed the golden goose

  2. From another blog...worth sharing:
    "I've said it before, and I'm saying it again: it's time to fire Tom Anselmi.

    I don't know how easterners do their business, but having absolutely zero clue as to how to run two major sports teams (and leading them to very little success in the process) shouldn't be grounds for promotion to a higher role -- that's the ticket for a pink slip. Today's sacking of Aron Winter should be the last straw for Anselmi for all supporters.

    I've already gone on my diatribe before, and I don't think it bears repeating any more -- we're now on our seventh coach, and Paul Mariner isn't exactly the sparkling example of successful coaching. And as long as Anselmi remains at the helm, we have virtually no chance of getting the TFC house in true order.

    The cancer has been identified -- it's time for supporters to call for the surgery to begin at last. We've suffered more than enough: it's time to show MLSE in any way possible that Tom Anselmi, the man who has no clue how to run a soccer club, needs to be run out of town to join the six other coaches he's sacked.

    And heaven help me if he's given that promotion to "get him away" from handling TFC -- the man deserves a one-way trip out of Toronto instead."