THE STARTING 11: Special features during Toronto FC's "Support The Troops Day"

Paul Mariner. Next Saturday.



If you are attending next Saturday's match versus New England at BMO Field you may notice fatigues. No, not the fatigue of supporting TFC but military fatigues as MLSE has designated the match as a "Support The Troops" day - a feature they have tried with their two other stellar professional clubs. Now it's up to you if you want to see this as a genuine thanks to the hard-working Canadian military - or as a cynical bathing of MLSE's brand, in order to deflect criticism, through the feigned wrapping of themselves in Canadian patriotism (see the Conservative Party of Canada) - your call. Either way, there will be a whole host of military personnel and their families on hand because... how better to celebrate Canadian Defences than by forcing them to watch a team that can't defend? As part of the day, there will be a few extra features to distract your fatigue(s)...
　
11. Promotional T-Shirt cannon... an actual cannon
　
10. Paul Mariner to dress as 19th Century British officer
　
9. TFC to be camouflaged... as a competitive team
　
8. Tom Anselmi's football credentials to remain A.W.O.L.
　
7. World War II veterans in attendance allowed to call Torsten Frings "that bloody Jerry!"
　
6. Adrian Cann to sing "In The Navy" at Halftime
　
5. Reds to honour The War of 1812 by losing 18-12
　
4. Supporters to aim 21-gun salute at MLSE corporate suite
　
3. Jim Brennan to dye soul patch khaki
　
2. In a salute to Canada's fine armoured divisions - TFC to tank
　
1. Ship Buttys
　

And... since Adrian Cann sounds a bit like Grover and the ownership are a bunch of muppets...