THE WORD: Trials And Errors

Maybe part of Mo Johnston's rumoured contract extension includes a Eurail Pass because all of a sudden TFC is being linked with Central European based players. As reported in THE WORD last week, European press are claiming that The Reds are close to signing Haitian defender Lesly Fellinga, last of Holland's SV Heereveen (Gone Tomorrow) and that the player is on trial in TFC's secret bunker.

This week, the EU quotient is being upped at BMO with the apparent trials of Dutch midfielder Dominique "Not Wilkins" Van Dijk and Czech striker Michal "Cherry Flavour "Pospisil. Now who dares say Mo's map of the continent was torn anywhere east of Newcastle! Somebody's been in geography class.

Van Dijk is a 29 year old journeyman who may or may not own a windmill but has played for one of the world's best named teams - Go Ahead Eagles. Love them. Read it like a 30's gangster: "Go Ahead Eagles... do your worst, see!". His best years were with lower divisie SC Cambuur - which may also be a type of vegetable. He would be dirt cheap... " a stunning player" says MLSE's accounting department.

Pospisil is not a delicious frozen treat on a stick but rather another journeyman, this time Ceski! Ahoj Michal...Pivo? (It means "Hello Michal...Beer?" My time in Prague really did wonders) Pospisil has had some decent years up front especially during spells with Slovan Liberec of the Czech Gambrinus Liga (Gambrinus is a marvellous pivo by the way) and with Hearts in the Scottish Premier. Oh, now i get it Mo.. Scotland. Either way, he'd be a bit cheap too... "great work rate and a top-notch soccer scoring striker type of guy thingy" says MLSE's accounting department.

It seems unlikely that TFC would be ready to hand out this many international slots but word is they are on trials at The International House of Cut-Rate Players aka BMO Field. Maybe Mo figures 4 or 5 mediocre players equals the one good one he was never really going to... I mean tried really hard to sign.

WORD FACTOR: 5 / 10

MO JOHNSTON GEOGRAPHY FACTOR: 2 / 10