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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Late-night re-runs on TFC TV

If BMO ever decides to pull their sponsorship from Toronto FC, we'd like to make a suggestion - Nyquil. The nighttime syrup has nothing on a TFC road match for helping you get your Z's. The Reds went to Los Angeles on Saturday night knowing that all of their close rivals for the post season had dropped points earlier in the day. Add to that, the exciting debut of the club's first DP - Julian De Guzman! Surely this was the night that TFC would finally break it's road woes and stick it to Beckham & Co. right? Right? The line-ups were announced... the excitement was buzzing... Chad Barrett was starting. WHAT THE F**K?!!!

So the coaches' pre-game meeting went something like... "we just signed a great new distributing midfielder... how can we totally nullify his contribution? Yes, # 19 will do nicely." We are really tired of beating on Chad Barrett but a striker with 4 goals in 25 games is absurd. Chris Cummins claims that no one works harder in practice than The Chad, but hard work isn't always enough. You know what else works hard? Mules. But you still wouldn't enter a mule into the Kentucky Derby. Barrett wasn't the sole reason for tonight's 2-0 loss to Galaxy but his constant, useless inclusion is a symptom of what has become entirely inept management by Cummins (aka Mo Puppet) and his team.

TFC managed a decent start and De Guzman did show glimpses of his passing quality but then a beautifully crafted goal by David Beckham in the 9th minute changed the tone of the match completely. The Reds looked immediately deflated, lost what little shape they had and degraded into a bunch of guys with no form and no chemistry chasing after a ball. The 1st half petered out and the 2nd half only had a brief flash from Ali Gerba to rouse the viewers back in Toronto. As a reward, Gerba was a victim of Chris Cummins' sudden rash of confusing substitutions which added nothing, but did manage to confuse the formation that much more. The manically used subs also made it impossible for a cramped De Guzman to leave the game - brilliant. Galaxy controlled much of the play and Edson "I Could Still Be A Red - Idiots" Buddle scored the second goal late to nail TFC's Hollywood coffin shut.

Somehow, Toronto are still not mathematically eliminated from the playoffs which is more of a detriment as sane supporters will still have to hear phrases like "playoff push" for another week. Not to worry though, another road game next week, this time in Chicago, and no doubt another Barrett start, means that the math will inevitably catch up to this baffling squad. If you, like many of your Toronto compatriots, fell asleep in the 2nd half only to wake briefly at the end to hear Dobson and Forrest enthuse that TFC put in a "good" effort - its not true. After three years and countless line-up changes, "good efforts" would equal more than 1 out of 12 points on the road during a so-called "playoff push". I need the jumbo-size Nyquil so I can sleep through the next road match too.

3 comments:

  1. Hi,

    I am Portuguese and a football tickets collector and I am looking to enlarge my collection.
    Are you going to watch football games? Have you some tickets and programs that could send to me?
    serafimteixeira@gmail.com

    Thanks
    Teixeira

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi,
    I am a Torontonian and I collect long shot playoff pushes and wish to enlarge my misery.
    Are you going to cheer past midnight on a Saturday? Have you some goals scorers and cross connectors that you could send to Toronto? Do you wish Craig Bellamy could play for TFC for one game and punch Edson Buddle? EB does seem like a nice guy, it's just as a symbol of my frustration that I threaten...
    Thanks
    stillkickingeira

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi,
    We are a blog and we collect excuses of millionaire owners who raise ticket prices by 15% and wish to enlarge our depression.
    Are you going to give them all of your hard earned money or lose your ticket forever? Do you have promises of grass, stadium expansion and trophies that could send me through an arrogant Scotsman?

    Thanks
    Yorkieseira

    ReplyDelete