THE MATCHUP: Hot Rapid-on-Rapid action!

---------------It takes days for The Rapids to get to Toronto

TORONTO FC (7th) VS. COLORADO (5th)
　
BMO Field - Saturday 12PM ET
TV: CBC
　
There hasn't been this many rapids in football since Colorado Rapids held the Marcelo Balboa Testimonial match against Rapid Vienna in a raft on actual rapids... and played quickly... er, rapidly. Toronto FC's Preki-motivated 2010 rebuilding plan was to collect as many former average Colorado Rapids as possible and fit them into the Serb's workman like socialist manifesto. Colorado in the meantime just took two really talented Reds off of Toronto's hands and let them play... well.
　
Rapids, the MLS' equivalent to tapioca pudding, splash down (see what I did there - Rapids? Never mind.) into Toronto after winning the home leg of the tie 3-1 back in April. TFC have improved somewhat since then but lately the vaunted "Fortress BMO" has only been good for draws. Indeed, the house on Lakeshore is more a "House of Ties". Not "House of Lies"... his office is upstairs at BMO. The transfer window is yet to open, so like a dog whose owner left him in the car, TFC will have to suffocate through the stifling offence of Barrett and O'Brien before a friendly Mista can come by and open the scoring. Weird analogy yes... but it's a heatwave. My brain is woozy. Yo homes to Bel-Air!... See.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Red-Rapid Re-Run"
　
Re-Rapids: Nick La Brocca, Dan Gargan, Ty Harden, Adrian Cann
Red Redux: Conor Casey, Marvell Wynne, Jamie Smith (well a Red trialist at least!)
　
THE ODDS:
- Confused ex-players to score multiple own-goals: 3-1
- Altitude-junky Rapids to be confused by sea-level Toronto: 5-1
- Teams to transfer four more players at the half: 10-1
- Homesick Marvell Wynne to go on pre-match syrup, Timbits and Chip Butty bender: 6-4
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Noon kickoff means an early morning start back in Colorado where all of the Rapids' die hard supporters will watch the match over breakfast. Hi you four - how's the bacon?
- Rapids owner Stan Kroenke is still aiming to buy the controlling shares in English club Arsenal and thus continue his quest to own the world's most boring football clubs
- Rapids were voted 17th most popular Denver sports team just behind the Colorado Peeks pro-bird watching club and the Denver Windwmillz of the X-Treme Mini Golf Association
- Colorado has not one, not two... but four fluffy club mascots! (See for yourself) Not shown is former mascot "Rapidman" (pictured below) who is rumoured to appear on the next season of "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew"
　
METRE HIGH CITY SAYS: 1-0 Toronto
MILE HIGH CITY SAYS: 0-0 Draw
HEADLINE: "FANS SHOCKED AS HARDEN, LA BROCCA AND GARGAN JOIN INTO GIANT ROBOT 'RAPIDTRON' - CITY IN RUINS"

-----------------------Rapidman: working on issues