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Thursday, August 5, 2010

TFZ: BMO Field security to rock out with their hawk out?

"Bitch Squad Alpha report to Section 112 immediately!"

What time is it? It's TFZ: The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone time... yo! Word. Your # 1 source for Toronto FC rumours with zero sources! You just ordered a Rumour Sandwich... hold the truth!
This week on TFZ...
- Tensions have been rising at BMO Field and the security team may have the answer. An elite band of the finest rent-a-cops at BMO will soon form "The Bitch Squad" who will dress in costumes designed to mask themselves as "Bitchy" the BMO Field hawk allowing them to sneak up on streamer felons and their shirtless ilk. S-hawk and awe!
- TFZ reader Jeff wrote in and said that his brother used to mow the old Field Turf at BMO and told him that the reason Edson Buddle was traded back in year one was because "he hurt the goalkeepers feelings in practice with all that goal scoring" Sensitive!
- A former Toronto FC defender is going to release a shocking tell-all book about his time with The Reds. "Rick Titus: 1 Match in Hell" is due for release in time for Christmas. Words!
- TFC supporters could be hit in the pocketbook soon. Danny Dichio has instructed the law firm of Cellino, Barnes & La Brocca to go after the rights for "The Dichio Song" and to collect on due royalties from supporters who have used his intellectual property for three years. Stingy-oh!
- There's no new DP on the cards but Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment will likely unveil 6 new kits for the Champions League Group Stage. Also in the works are an "affordable" CCL ticket package (when you buy two Marlies season tickets) and the limited time only "Spicy CONCACAF Butty" for $7.99! Cheap as chips!
- MLSE is trying to negotiate a new radio deal with The Fan 590. The new agreement would only see TFC matches pre-empted by Blue Jays baseball, the Argos, Toronto Rock lacrosse, High School curling, Senior's Lawn Bowling quarter-finals and "This Week in Mini-Golf" Tune in!
- TFC angered the mayor of Tegucigalpa, Honduras, Senor Antonio "Tony" Motagua, when they refused to stay at his recommended hotel - "El Villa Dos Gringos Morte" in the city's Caliente Diablo neighbourhood. Mayor Tony Motagua was quoted in the El Daily Lobo newspaper saying TFC "were stinking cock-a-roaches". Ay dios mio!
TFZ: Truth just lost 3-2 on aggregate

The Mayor: "Say hello to Tegucigalpa"

1 comment:

  1. Rick Titus - lolz!
    Fan590 sucks.