Noriega: Panamanian. Not likely in attendanceTORONTO FC (3rd) VS. ARABE UNIDO (4th)
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GROUP A
BMO FIELD - TUESDAY 8PM ET
TV: GOL TV
There's a lot of nights when being a D-List blogger for a C-list team in a B-list league can be rewarding... this is not one of them. The final match of the CONCACAF Champions League Group Stage promises to have all the excitement, importance and passion of a pre-season friendly - minus a big name opponent like Charleston Battery. In all likelihood, this match will feature two sides full of youth players and fringe grinders in front of the smallest crowd in TFC's home venue history. Hurray. If you think this is an important fixture... don't read on.
Here are some matches with higher importance on Tuesday's football calendar:
- Schneider's House League Final: AC Bologne v Wienerstadt
- Co-ed Gay Pride League : All-Man City v Sporting Lesbians
- Bobby (Age 10) v Billy (Age 11) Subbuteo Table Football
- Desert Island Semi: Harlem Globetrotters v Robot 11
- Sexy Ghost Friendly: George Best v Bikini-Clad Angels FC
- Yorkshire Dog League: Sheffield Thursday v Sheffield Monday
- Dyslexic World Cup Final: Zarbil v Mergany
If this isn't serious enough for you we will pause and give you the chance to enjoy a great feat of engineering and the pride of our opponent's homeland - Panama. Enjoy this timelapse crossing of the Panama Canal...
Wow. Fascinating.
Can I be serious for a moment? This may be the last chance to see many of the "stars" of TFC 2010 at home. If by some chance, ML$E actually hires a legitimate, respected Director of Football, let's take the time to say goodbye to: Raivis Hscanovics, Maxim Usanov, Ty Harden, Nick Garcia, those wacky Gambian kids, Martin Saric, Jacob Peterson, Mista, O'Brian White, Gabe Gala, Fuad Ibrahim and most of the coaching staff. If however, ML$E does their usual and hires from within... say goodbye to... Frank - the guy who makes the souvlaki in the south end of BMO. Thanks for the memories/ garlic sauce Frank.
Ladies and gentleman... Van Halen!
Big thanks to David Lee, Eddie... those other two... for performing the Panamanian national anthem.
Enjoy the match everyone! For those of you heading to BMO Field, remember... protest early, protest often. Don't forget though - next time you see TFC will be in the spring... and they will be signing trialists and out-of contract guys from the Moldovan league (Hi Rohan Ricketts!). So cherish these moments.
Sing it one last time (because Vancouver's going next year) "The Chaaaaaaam-pionnnns!"
Posts
OK, I'm sorry but quite possibly the funniest blog post I've read anywhere all year. Too many to mention, but the D-List Blogger comment was solid humour; the List was awesome and the shout out to Halen for Panamanian National anthem still makes me giggle.
ReplyDeleteLet me just finish by saying: we're gonna miss you, Frank.
C.
Damn, I'm in tears. Frank always squirted a little extra sauce for my wife when she asked for his sausage.
ReplyDelete....sniff
Frank was overrated! That guy always cheaped out on the tzaziki sauce. It's time to rebuild at the Greek stand. Come on you gyros.
ReplyDeleteGreat post - wil Adanac ever make the dyslexic cup?
All-Man City vs Sporting lesbians. gold! that's A list stuff right there.
ReplyDeleteHow, sir, will you occupy your time in the off-season? Your blog is the best part of this season.
ReplyDeleteHowever, is it worth coughing up the $6750 for 4 tix for 2011? Maybe Frank can finance me...
I may be a D-list blogger but you my fine friends are A-list readers! Thanks for the kind words... for this humble blog and for poor Frank. "No Beer-oh's No Gyros" Campaign anyone? No, i think we have enough on our plate too.
ReplyDeleteNo worries about the off-season though. I think there will be lots to occupy the time: From BMO hosting the Dallas v San Jose MLS Cup Final in a blizzard, the naming of Jim Brennan as GM to the signing of Kenya's 122nd best player a week before the season starts... Oh God, I need a drink.
Stay tuned later as The Yorkies' main man in the South Stand brings you the Panamaniacal match report. Me, I'm off to look at my Sporting Lesbian trading cards. Cheers!