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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Ways Toronto FC will change under Dutch influence

Because PSV Torontohoven just wasn't funny

Winter is upon us! So are years of "winter" puns! Yes, the news travelled quickly across the Atlantic yesterday that Dutch legend Aron Winter was on the verge of joining Toronto FC. In what capacity we are yet to know for certain - at the time of writing it could be Technical Director, Head Coach, GM, starting midfielder or head groundskeeper. ML$E of course has kept their mouths shut on the topic until a press conference is held, most likely on Thursday. By that time we expect Earl Cochrane to have heard the news. Of course there is still the added possibility that England's Paul Mariner is in the mix but either way, Winter's arrival (along with his pal Bob de Klerk) will be seen as Toronto's "Oranje Revolution". But how else may the Dutch influence be felt around TFC?
11. New "Amsterdam-style" coffee house opened near Gate 3
10. 70% of BMO Field's power to come from windmills
9. New training facility built in Ajax... Ontario
8. All BMO Field ketchup replaced with warm mayonnaise

7. Club re-branded as "Go Ahead Beavers"
6. PA announcer constantly putting down Belgians
5. Julian de Guzman to market line of athletic wooden clogs
4. Club ownership will be pronounced "ML-esh-E"
3. Chad Barrett to change name to Chohan Bruyff
2. Dan Gargan told to grow 1980's style Ruud Gullit dreadlocks or be released
1. Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!


  1. WHat about the turf girls dancing behind glass windows? lolz - good list

  2. Turf Girls + DJ Tiesto (Apparently he's Dutch) = Shyexshy futbol! Shyexshy shyexshy shyexshy!