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Monday, March 28, 2011

THE STARTING 11: TFC-themed GolTV programming for 2011

You should see them shake down Huggy Bearsh!

It came as a surprise to some when Toronto FC decided to put most of its matches on the relatively small cable outfit GolTV. While the channel, which is of course owned by club owners/ human sport hunters MLSE, has carried TFC matches in the past, it has never broadcast such a big share. MLSE is aiming to boost the network, which currently reaches the same amount of homes as this blog, with live Reds action but they still need to fill a 24 hour schedule. Nothing to fear though with this new line-up of TFC-related programming - coming soon to a digital cable box near you...

11. A small squad in the age of reality TV? Vote early and vote often on... "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN PASS CANADA"

10. Keeping the beaches and pension funds of Toronto safe while Tom Anselmi runs slowly in red Speedos, stay tuned for... "BAYSTREETWATCH"

9. He's the man who can build a weapon from things found in his hair, it's... "MACGUZMAN"

8. Wholesome kids programming about a magical hourly train that always leaves too early on... "SHINING TIME GO STATION"

7. Broken by the evil GordonElbow 2000, he was put back together with male model good looks. We have the technology for the...

6. What happens when a tiny Ecuadorian moves into a swinging bachelor pad? Hilarity ensues as Joao Plata stars in the new sitcom... "ZERO AND A HALF MEN"

5. It's the motormouth high-stakes game show where you can risk it all! It's time to play... "YOU BET YOURASSOWSKY!"

4. A roundtable call-in show for all long time Reds supporters... "CURB YOUR TFC ENTHUSIASM"

3. Ballin'! Catch up with the antics of Snoolsy, The Cannituation, Jav-Woww and Zavarise on the next... "LAKEY SHORE"

2. He's signed air-cheques, he went to Scotland - will he use his "phone a friend"? It's time for... "DE RO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE"

1. Mild mannered coaches by day. Tough jive-talkin' detectives by night. Aron Winter and Bob de Klerk patrol the streets of Amsterdam in... "SHTARSHKY & DUTCH"


  1. high 5 for Macguzman and Baystreetwatch

  2. So you think you can pass Canada? Brilliant.


  4. Deposed ex-TFC general manager accepts demotion with a smile, and denies any knowledge of a Celtic trial ... My Name is Earl