THE STARTING 11: Mo Johnston election campaign promises and slogans

Yes We Can't

It's spreading like wildfire - election fever is gripping the nation! Ok, it's actually spreading like a vaguely humid breeze - and it's more of a sinus congestion than a fever. Either way, Canadians are headed to the polls with a choice of three bland leaders (four if you're Quebecois, five if you like trees, more if you're one of our Marxist readers). The lack of vibrant personalities made us wonder if Toronto FC had any potential politicians to step into the vacuum. But who, in TFC's history, can politically massage the truth, spout vague sound bites at periodic press conferences, disappear on mysterious international trips and do nothing of significance for four years? Oh yeah - that guy... “5 Mo Years! 5 Mo Years!”

　
11. Go on annual winter trade missions to Brazil
　
10. "Because all of Glasgow can't be right!"
　
9. Jim Brennan to make coffee for every Canadian once a year
　
8. Will ban Field Turf from every Canadian farm
　
7. Tax breaks for parents afflicted with ginger children
　
6. "A 5-Year-Plan You Can Believe In"
　
5. Replace pesky Senate with Gambian trialists
　
4. "A Butty In Every Pot"
　
3. "We've got our eye on 3 or 4 countries to invade"
　
2. Minister of Defence: Preki
　
1. "Read my lips... no new strikers!"