THE MATCHUP: Reds seek Empire strike back

TFC's defence shows its mobility

VANCOUVER WHITECAPS VS. TORONTO FC
NUTRILITE CANADIAN CHAMPIONSHIP
FINAL - 1ST LEG
　
EMPIRE FIELD - WEDNESDAY 10PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET (ALL REGIONS)
　

NUTCAN WARS

　

Episode II

　

STRIKE BACK AT THE EMPIRE (FIELD)

　

It is a dark time for Toronto FC.

　

Although Mo Johnston has been destroyed, The NutCan has driven the Reds forces from the safety of BMO Field and pursued them across the country.

　

Overcoming the humiliating Opening Match embarrassment, a group of cup contenders led by Stefan Freiwalker has travelled to a temporary base in the remote pot-smoking world of British Columbia.

The evil lord Darth Lenarduzzi, obsessed with one-upping Toronto, has dispatched thousands of hipsters in Lululemon gear into the far reaches of Empire Field....

　

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "Return of the Redi"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH (aka 'WITH THE FORCE')
THE DARK SIDE: Jay DeMerit, Alain Rochat, Eric Hassli
REDI KNIGHTS: Julian de Guzman, Stefan Frei, Joao Plata
　
THE ODDS
- Adrian Cann's ball dribbling skills compared to "an AT-AT Walker with a football": 10-1
- Teitur Thordarson revealing he is the Nash brothers' father: 100-1
- Aron Winter and Bob de Klerk dressing as Lando Calrissian and Cloud City pal LOBOT: 250-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- TFC defender Dan Gargan's form this year has caused many to wonder if he had been frozen in carbonite over the off-season
- Upon tending to an open cut Eric Hassli, the Whitecaps' physio was heard saying "And I thought he smelled bad......... on the outside"
- Vancouver's revamped BC Place Stadium is rumouored to have a vulnerable design flaw in its Hypermatter Reactor Core
　
DUTCH-ENGLISH PRONUNCIATION OF THE MATCH
"May de Forsh be wit you... alwaysh"
　
TAUNTAUN THORDARSON SAYS: 2-0 Vancouver
R2deGU SAYS: 0-0 Draw
HEADLINE: "TOTAL FOOTBALL STILL FAR, FAR AWAY"
　
Many Bothans died to bring us this match preview.

Winter and de Klerk head to Empire Field