THE MATCHUP: Reds need XBOX 180

Who needs Halo when you can have Zaxxon?

TORONTO (14th) VS. SEATTLE (5th)
　
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 7PM ET
TV: GOLTV
　
THE KICKABOUT:
- Have TFC improved since they were drubbed 3-0 by Sounders at Qwest Field back in April?
- Can TFC take the 1st Half from New England and the 2nd Half from LA and combine them into a full 90 Minute performance?
- Does Julian de Guzman go right back into the starting 11 despite the recent workmanlike performances of Nathan Sturgis?
- Can young Doneil Henry continue his composed play on defence?
- Is Kasey Keller the last active footballer who fought during WWII?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El Coleco Classico"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Alan Gordon, Doneil Henry, Stefan Frei
SEATTLE: Osvaldo Alonso, Kasey Keller, Fredy Montero
　
THE ODDS:
- Supporters actually noticing a difference in the midfield with Julian de Guzman's return: 20-1
- Sigi Schmid's circumference expanding by 1/3 during match: 50-1
- Microsoft XBOX approaching Aron Winter and Bob de Klerk to do voice-over on their new video game "Grand Theft Auto: Hot Amshterdam Nightsh"
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Seattle's star striker Fredy Montero has angrily resisted calls for him to "Americanize" his name by adding a second 'D' to 'Fredy' calling it blatant "racial alphabetization"
- Toronto supporters are trying to re-energize the old fighting spirit by refusing to listen to Soundgarden, wear Xavier McDaniel jerseys or eat tossed salad & scrambled eggs for a full week
- Due to the gulf in talent on the two clubs, BMO Field's most creative chants on Saturday will again revolve around the CN Tower's phallic prominence over Seattle's Space Needle
　
THE WAGER: 0-0 Draw (2011: 13-7 with 4 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "SOUNDERS VISIT BMO - SOUNDGARDEN SALES PLUMMET IN TORONTO"

"C'mon 8-Bit de Guzman - move your ass!"