AFTER 90: Reds mow Real Esteli in turf war

TFC's ankles - Lest We Forget



IN THE TUNNEL:
With Real Esteli nabbing that crucial away goal at BMO Field, "The Train of The North" have everything to play for tonight in rural Nicaragua. A reportedly horrendous pitch, a zoo-like atmosphere in the stands and ziplock bags full of humanity's worst await our boys in red as they aim for the CONCACAF Champions League Group Stage. Tape up your ankles... it's off to Estadio Independencia
　
ON THE PITCH:
1' - The Texas Rangers tied the Detroit Tigers 5-5. Thanks Rogers Sportsnet... you are a disgrace to Canadian football. Oh and since you don't understand that... I mean soccer... Ahoy piracy!....
5' - The Nicaraguan pitch looks like the Jolly Green Giant's nether regions. Crass? Yes. Am I still seething at Sportsnet One? Absolutely.
10' - TFC with no link play to speak of, possibly due to actual molehills on pitch
17' - Hard-tackling hardman Richard Eckersley flourishing in lawless Central America
22' - Watching this match via internet feed is like playing a crappy Nicaraguan version of SimCity... with worse officiating
27' - Ball skips through the Real Esteli 6 yard box with Ryan Johnson and Javier Martina both whiffing on the play. That was a baseball reference Sportsnet
30'- Andy Iro and Danleigh Borman miss their marker and Rudel Calero misses putting Real Esteli up by mere inches. Too close.
33' - SUB: Matt Stinson in for Javier Martina for unknown reasons
35' - Nicaraguan Ronaldinho - Rudel Calero - looking far too dangerous... and dreadlocked
37' - GOAL: Out of nothing, Ryan Johnson turns and left foots a volley that flies past Esteli's keeper. A gorgeous blast at a moment where TFC looked vulnerable
REAL ESTELI 0 - TORONTO FC 1 (1-3 AGGREGATE)
42' - The once rocking Estadio Independencia has been silenced by TFC's goal
45'+ - PENALTY: Andy Iro gets dubiously called for a handball by the Honduran referee - calmly taken by Manuel Rosas and GOAL
REAL ESTELI 1 - TORONTO FC 1 (2-3 AGGREGATE)
45'+ - Crowd no longer silent as "referee" blows... for halftime
　
HALFTIME: REAL ESTELI 1 - TORONTO FC 1 (AGGREGATE 2-3)
　
47' - GOAL: Absolutely best possible start for TFC as burgeoning Reds legend Ryan Johnson picks up a loose ball and buries it in the Real Esteli goal
REAL ESTELI 1 - TORONTO FC 2 (AGGREGATE 2-4)
52' - YELLOW CARD: Captain Torsten Frings warned for some imagined infringement by the Honduran Minister of Justice
56' - If it ends like this, the King of Nicaragua who bestowed the "Real" name on Esteli will be so pissed!
58' - SUB: Ashtone Morgan's defence brought in for Man of the Match candidate Ryan Johnson who won't get his hat trick tonight but will save an ankle
61' - YELLOW CARD: Surprise! Another card for Los Gringos - this time Terry Dunfield. Possibly for blasphemy.
65' - Chances are high that a mythical beast lives under the ridiculous Esteli pitch. Possibly a chupacabra-type beast. Likely with a wispy moustachio.
70' - SUB: In a move against all expectation Danny Koevermans comes in to add a target man replacing Danleigh Borman
75' - Kocic forced to make first major open play save of the half. Solid.
80' - Nice of Real Esteli's manager Otoniel Olivas to wear his dress denims for the big match. I think they are Karl Kani's
85' - Joao Plata's mud covered kit makes him look like an 8-year old who has been bullied by The Gooch
90'+ - The match peters out despite the best efforts of the referee to change the result and Toronto FC heads to Champions League proper. Their leg joints... not so much
　
FULL TIME: REAL ESTELI 1 - TORONTO FC 2
AGGREGATE 2-4
　
IN THE BATHS:
They had to survive a pitch that would give a cow a stomach ache, a referee who was a Canadianist and craters that ate ankles like the Sarlacc Pit but Toronto FC survived a bizarre two-leg tie to advance in CONCACAF Champions League. In the end, the 4-2 aggregate was complimentary to an overmatched Real Esteli whose two goals were down to a Milos Kocic error and a dubious penalty call tonight making Toronto FC the rightful owners of a place in Group C. With ankles firmly wrapped, TFC can now look forward to matches with Mexican powerhouse Pumas, Panama's TFC - Tauro FC and most likely our old Texan pal FC Dallas. Real Esteli can look forward to buying a lawnmower. A place in the CCL Group Stage was one of the minor goals that supporters had set for TFC this season and kudos have to be given even if the road was a little bumpy.
　
Oh, and in case we didn't mention it - Rogers Sportsnet crapped the bed spectacularly tonight.
AGGREGATE: SPORTSNET ONE - INTERNET 2
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Milos Kocic 6.5 / Richard Eckersley 6.5 / Andy Iro 5.5 / Doneil Henry 6.5 / Danleigh Borman 6 / Terry Dunfield 6 / Torsten Frings 6.5 / Peri Marosevic 6 / Javier Martina 5 (Matt Stinson 5.5 ) / Ryan Johnson 7.5 (Ashtone Morgan 6 ) / Joao Plata 6.5
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Ryan Johnson
TALKING POINT: TFC (CAN) VS. TFC (PAN) - will this open a rift in the time/space continuum? Discuss.