THE MATCHUP: Reds ride into DeCe'sario

Pity the fool that doesn't own this on VHS



D.C. UNITED (12th) VS. TORONTO FC (17th)
　
RFK STADIUM - SATURDAY 7:30PM ET
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
- Will TFC's Pan-Continental travel finally take its toll on the squad?
- Can midfield new boys Peri Marosevic and Ryan Johnson continue to click going forward?
- Will Dwayne De Rosario play the part of pantomime villain and put his former club to the sword with goals?
- If he has another bad game, will Julian de Guzman make a cheque-refund motion?
- Will Columbus Crew trade Tony Tchani to D.C. United for De Ro moments before kick-off?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The 1812'er" (Return Leg)
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
D.C. UNITED: Dwayne De Rosario, Chris Pontius, Josh Wolff
TORONTO FC: Torsten Frings, Ryan Johnson, Danny Koevermans
　
THE ODDS:
- TSN delaying the game broadcast by 45 minutes when "Provincial Amateur Women's Junior Powerlifting Preliminaries" runs long: 10-1
- D.C. United hiring Real Esteli's groundskeeper - nurturing pitch to a lush 3 feet high: 20-1
- Charlie Davies' play earning him a spot on the 2012 U.S. Men's Olympic Diving Team: 30-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- United have tried to put a positive spin on their long and unsuccessful venture to build a new stadium by entering the team in next year's "Homeless World Cup"
- The White House has downplayed rumours that President (and footy fan) Barack Obama did De Ro's patented post-goal celebration around the Oval Office after the recent debt ceiling bill passed
- United were rumoured to be unveiling a new alternate yellow and checkers kit for Saturday's match to honour "D.C. Cab Night" at RFK. The celebration of the classic 1983 comedy film has the Capital buzzing over possible appearances by the film's stars Mr. T and Gary Busey as well as anthems sung by Irene Cara
　
THE WAGER: 2-1 D.C. United (2011: 18-13 with 6 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE:"DE RO TIGHTENS NOOSE IN CAPITAL PUNISHMENT"