THE MATCHUP: "60% of the time, we win half of the time"

Burgundy's in town

TORONTO (17th) VS. COLORADO (5th)
　
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 1:30PM ET
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Good day Toronto FC supporters, we're The Yorkies.
Tits McGee is on vacation.
　
After a demoralizing display against Pumas UNAM in Champions League play on Wednesday, can The Reds bounce back at home against The Burgundys? Rapids are looking solid as they head to the playoffs while TFC are looking banged-up and ready to end a miserable 2011 campaign. Last time Colorado walked on BMO Field's grass they had the MLS Cup in their hands - will they relive that glory or can The Reds muster some late-season heart and give their deserved supporters a show? We're in a glass case of emotion.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Sex Panther"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Eric Avila, Torsten Frings, Milos Kocic
COLORADO: Omar Cummings, Caleb Folan, Sanna Nyassi
　
THE ODDS:
- Richard Eckersley throwing a trident at Marvell Wynne: 10-1
- TFC trainers realizing too late that "milk was a bad choice": 20-1
- Andy Iro bagging a classy lady with tickets to the gun show: 30-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Bob de Klerk: "Founded by the Germansh in 1904, they call them Rapidsh, which of courshe in German meansh a whale'sh vagina"
Aron Winter: "No, there ish no way that ish correct."
BdK: "I'm shorry, I was trying to impressh you. I don't know what it meansh. I'll be honesht, I don't think anyone knowsh what it meansh anymore. Shcholarsh maintain that the transhlation was lost hundredsh of yearsh ago."
AW: "Doesh it not mean a fasht moving river?"
BdK: "No. No."
AW: "No. That ish what it really meansh. Really."
BdK: "Agree to dishagree."
　
THE WAGER: 1-1 Draw (2011: 20-19 with 6 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "AFTERNOON DELIGHT!"