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Sunday, September 18, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Mo Johnston regrets

Regrets, we've had a few... hundred

There was a special, almost spiritual, occasion in the world of Toronto FC last week. No, it wasn’t the club’s first ever win over Columbus, nor the hoisting of the illustrious Trillium Cup - it was an anniversary of a momentous date in TFC’s history. It was a year ago last week that Mo Johnston was finally fired from his post as “Director” of “Soccer” thus marking the actual start of Toronto FC as a club. Despite the “Founded 2007” stamp on the club - under Johnston it was simply a bumbling comedy of suspicious errors for four-and-a-half years and it wasn’t until his very overdue departure that the building of the club could begin. Yes, it has left fans with regrets over a lost half-decade at BMO Field but what about the man himself? What regrets could the much-maligned Johnston have considering he never got to see out his magical “5 Year Plan”?
11. Never got to complete Jim Brennan’s training in the art of making a good mocha latte
10. Sure he forgot to let those Ivorian trialists out of his basement
9. Couldn’t persuade Brad Pitt to play him in his self-penned autobiographical film “MoneyDraft”
8. Wasn’t allowed to tell people he helped the CSA draft their new blueprint for success
7. Never got around to answering the bags of threatening letters from Glasgow
6. Didn’t get a chance to wear his new “Master of the Draft” embroidered silk kimono
5. Never mustered up the bravery to reveal his true romantic feelings towards Barry MacLean
4. Couldn’t convert his DeLorean into a 5 Year Plan Time Machine
3. Failed to convince “Just For Men” to add the colour “Ginger Bastard” to its range
2. Didn’t get a chance to force Rick Titus into retirement - hastily add his name to the Wall of Honour
1. Misses Preki’s smile

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