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Friday, March 30, 2012

THE MATCHUP: "The New Soft" - Now with 50% more softer!

"Crue don't like us... we don't care"

TORONTO VS. COLUMBUS
 
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 2PM ET
TV: TSN
 
THE KICKABOUT:
The derby we have always referred to as "The New Soft" (opposite of "Old Firm") suddenly seems softer. After single-handedly creating an actual atmosphere out of a league-created "rivalry" (with the "Trillium Cup" as reward), Toronto fans can be forgiven for now feeling less "rivalistic" against Columbus. With Montreal now part of MLS, The Reds have their true rival along with a derby that has real social and geographic roots to give it gravitas. Many in Toronto will still harbour some animosity for Crew with the cross-border chopping of the last few seasons fresh in memory, but really... they are a distant second to our Francophone cousins down the 401. So, Columbus will just have to go back to being xenophobic, "Billy-no-rivals" while we still go through the motions of "caring" about the Trillium Cup.
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The New Soft"
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Miguel Aceval, Danny Koevermans, Luis Silva
COLUMBUS: Will Hesmer, Chad Marshall, Emilio Renteria
 
THE ODDS:
- Away supporters thinking we still care about them: 3-1
- Crew losing 1/4 of their 1/3 away kit: 10-1
- TFC forgetting where they left The Trillium Cup: 25-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
After being without a shirt sponsor for a period, Columbus managed to acquire Barbasol, maker of men's grooming products, to grace their kit. It wasn't without controversy though, as the shaving cream empire requested that Crew also change their infamous "Three Erotic Construction Workers" logo to match their product. Barbasol wanted the three mens' faces to reflect the stages of facial hair left-to-right from fully bearded to "Barbasol Smooth".
 
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "CLOSE SHAVE FOR SMOOTH REDS"

1 comment:

  1. we really need a W today, that home opener was laughable

    ReplyDelete