THE MATCHUP: Wretched are the cheesemakers



MONTREAL VS. TORONTO
　
OLYMPIC STADIUM - SATURDAY 12PM ET
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Finally, after years of teasing each other in the Canadian Championship, our "real" league derby is on tap. No offence to Columbus... but, yeah... not-so-much. With the centuries of socio-political, geographical and... ugh, yes hockeylitical, disputes between our two great cities far too deep to chronicle (despite this being a serious news website) - let's just say it will be massive. Arguably, there will be no rivalry in MLS with as much historical emotion attached as "The 401 Derby". The massive crowds, home-and-home Canadian Championship date on tap and you know... Toronto being an awesome city and all that... likely makes this fixture as good as it gets in Major League Soccer.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The 401 Derby"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
MONTREAL: Davy Arnaud, Sanna Nyassi, Donovan Ricketts
TORONTO: Julian de Guzman, Richard Eckersley, Ashtone Morgan
　
THE ODDS:
- TSN taking Leafs vs. Habs comparisons into the thousands: EVENS
- "Qu'est-ce que vous chantez" chant ironically done in English: 10-1
- Impact fans outdoing Toronto's Dichio seat-cushion phenomenon buy tossing Saputo brand provolone slices at Patrice Bernier: 25-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
The historic city of Montreal was founded in 1567 by the infamous brie smuggler and pirate Mo Riel. The city has grown to be the largest French-speaking metropolis outside of France and is the perennial leader in the UN's moustache-to-toque ratio. With a bustling cultural scene featuring Mitsou and Bonhomme du Neige, Montreal has shaken it's industrial past as Canada's poutine and withering looks leader to become a cosmopolitan centre in line with Auckland, Brussels and Minneapolis. See also: strippers; cigarettes; Jos. Louis
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "FIERCE RIVALRY REBORN - OLYMPIC STADIUM STILL STANDING"