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Monday, April 2, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Changes to Montreal's Olympic Stadium for Impact matches

Don't wave so hard - the roof can't take the breeze!

Canada has a checkered history with domed stadiums and football (proper football, not Flutie Egg football). BC Place was, for many years, the Metrodome's poor cousin until its recent orange-seated, drop-top "renovation" made it "good" for Whitecaps matches. Toronto's SkyDome of course was an engineering marvel that people were in awe with for at least 15 months before it became an unfashionable white elephant. It's still a bit of fun when full - but that's only on Blue Jays opening day and when TFC shows up. 

Most maligned of all is Montreal's Olympic Stadium. Sneered at in both official languages by Montrealers, "The Big O" is a concrete eyesore and a long-term financial disaster. With L'Impact du Montreal avec le Fromage having to wait for summer to play in revamped Stade Saputo, changes were made to make "The House That the Rest of Canada Built" a decent home.
11. Non-Smoking section expanded to two seats in upper deck
10. Security frisk you to the sultry music of Edith Piaf
9. Le Butty Provolone
8. Water fountains only feature Pepsi-Cola
7. Seat cushion giveaway actually just a bag full of stale Jos. Louis snack cakes
6. Players randomly replaced by actors from "Just For Laughs Gags"
5. Stadium ushers are the 1987 Expos
4. The St. Hubert Chicken takes a dump on a Swiss Chalet quarter-chicken dinner during halftime show
3. Fans hold referendum during second half to decide whether Impact should separate from MLS
2. Giant stripper pole behind away goal
1. Roof collapses reduced by 20%!

1 comment:

  1. God, you're such an unfunny loser, it's ridiculous. Toronto has no personality or anything of distinct originality in sight. You're so lame. TFC is a fake team from no where. At least the Lynx were semi-respectable. So lame.