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Monday, April 30, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Positives of Toronto FC's 0-7 record

"Oh Bob, we didn't need you after all"

Times are indeed tough in the land of the Torontos. Supporters of the local side have had more than their fair share of heartbreak over the last six years but this time around just feels... well, sad. Last year's poor results were forgiven for the most part in patience for the inevitable improvement that was to arrive under Aron Winter's system but as we all know too well - it hasn't really worked out. While being on the very bottom of the league (again) is shameful for such a well-supported club, being the bottom-dwellers does have a few advantages...

11. Aron Winter's "Total Possum" system is succeeding by making all other clubs not take us seriously

10. Mo Johnston's fragile self-confidence has really been repaired

 9. MLSE will easily be able to market next year's 70% ticket price increase but comically switching the digits in hilarious promotion

8. Supporters get to debut their new chant "The 'O' Face"

7. Big new shirt sponsor "Dollarama" about to be lined up

6. Liverpool would have never wanted to play a 1-6 club

5. Club can finally stake a place in the Guinness Book of World Records without making Bob de Klerk wear that beard of bees

4. You can't spell "Soolsma" without a bunch of O's

3. TFC received a lovely bouquet of flowers and a glazed ham from the 1999 Kansas City Wizards

2. Owners can now market club as "The Record-Breaking TFC"

1. BMO Field was too crowded anyway


  1. I was hoping that the "Starting 11" would make me laugh but, sadly it didn't. It's not that it's not funny...!!!! It's just too depressing.

    Mo Johnston is probably say'n "O and 7... Ha!!!" while dusting off his shoulders.

    My fave was "1. BMO Field was too crowded anyway".

    Well's here's to 0-8!!!!!

    1. And with the overcrowding problem solved we can sit wherever we want! *silver lining*.

    2. We apologize! Gallows humour was the best we could do!