THE MATCHUP: De R'0' and 7

Keeping the memory of Raivis Hscanovics alive since 2010



TORONTO VS. D.C. UNITED
　
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 4PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONTARIO-----RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
No matter the result, this one practically writes itself. Toronto FC either breaks their duck and ruins the "homecoming" of their most productive player ever - or - that player, Dwayne De Rosario, and his teammates from the American capital (including the alarmingly offensive ex-Red Maicon Santos) put The Reds to the sword and damn them into infamy. Win, lose or draw - the sideshow will be in full effect.
　
The plight of The Reds in MLS this season is well documented of course but many seemed to think that Wednesday's draw against Montreal in the Canadian Championship was some type of "turning point". Aron Winter sure made it clear that he was "satisfied" with the result and many think that he intentionally took it easy to give players a chance to win on Saturday. Others however, think that Wednesday's result was more one of inability and luck but they will be proven right or wrong when D.C. arrives after a long trip in from California.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "De Returnario"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO FC: Adrian Cann, Milos Kocic, Reggie Lambe
D.C. UNITED: Dwayne De Rosario, Chris Pontius, Maicon Santos
　
THE ODDS:
- Aron Winter unveiling his new defensive system "Total Preki": 5-1
- Reds taking sole possession of the "MLS Worst Start" record - proclaiming afterwards that it is a "baby step" towards success: 15-1
- No matter what - Winter being "satisfied": EVENS
　
WHO ARE YA?
After his famous "cheque signing" motion in 2010, Dwayne De Rosario started a local craze amongst his impressionable fans who wanted to mimic his actions. The charade-like performances were taken to a new level by people who "did a De Ro" by pretending to put a token into TTC boxes, leaving with unpaid groceries after punching in pretend pin numbers into invisible Interac machines, filling in imaginary tax forms and even trying to enter Mexico by waving around a phantom passport. Of course, after being gunned down in a hail of Mexican bullets, that fan brought an abrupt end to "doing the De Ro". But still, good times.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "ANSELMI MAKES IMAGINARY CONTRACT RIPPING MOTION TOWARDS TFC BENCH AFTER LOSS"

And well, if TFC do lose another match... Aron Winter may be ordered one of these...