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Friday, September 28, 2012

THE MATCHUP: Red Bull gives you wings... Reds bull; without Frings

"The Champagne of Football Clubs"

NEW YORK VS. TORONTO

RED BULL ARENA - SATURDAY 7PM ET
TV: GOL TV ----RADIO: THE FAN 590
 
THE KICKABOUT:
A late-season trip to New York (well industrial post-apocalyptic New Jersey) inevitably stirs up memories in TFC supporters of that fateful match on the last day of the 2009 season. As we all remember, The Reds were on the verge of their first playoff appearance and with all on the line and a big effort needed - they laid a giant 5-0 sized egg.
 
Massive and immediate changes were needed after that match but instead of dispatching the Highlands Moron and his Gang (some who still pull strings at TFC), the club instead ripped out its guts by dispatching Carl Robinson, Marvell Wynne, a promising young coach in Chris Cummins and a rookie who had the balls to tell it like it was (while the existing "captain" told the world there were no problems at all) in Sam Cronin. Now, as TFC head towards (yet) another crossroads, supporters are once again wondering what changes are ahead. Will they be positive moves forward or a fruitless cull to protect the employment of "company men"?
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Sam Cronin Testimonial"
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
NEW YORK: Tim Cahill, Thierry Henry, Dax McCarty
TORONTO: Quincy Amarikwa, Terry Dunfield, Darren O'Dea
 
THE ODDS:
The following players regretting their dismissal form TFC...
Sam Cronin: 5000-1
Marvell Wynne: 5000-1
Carl Robinson: 5000-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
When the Red Bull Corporation bought New York MetroStars and re-branded them, many thought it would start a wave of corporate-branded clubs in MLS. Toronto FC has had its share of beverage suitors but as their prestige declined annually so has the level of potential re-branding sponsors:
2007: FC CANADA DRY TORONTO
2008: RC COLA FC
2009: CRYSTAL PEPSI TORONTO SOCCER CLUB
2010: PC DIET COLA TFC
2011: FC POP SHOPPE TORONTO
2012: BRIO CALCIO TFC
2013 (pending offer): NEILSON EMPTY BAG OF HOMO MILK FC
 
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS WELCOMES CLUB THAT NEVER QUALIFIES"


And... Since it's Friday and "We Heart Symbol NY"... here's a "love letter" to NYC (but maybe change "Staten" to "Harrison")...


4 comments:

  1. Mo was from Glasgow and NOT the highlands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apologies to all Scottish Highlanders for besmirching their good name and geography with his association. We are guilty of Scottish profiling.

      Is Ibrox a slightly higher elevation than Celtic Park?

      Delete
    2. I think you'll find Ibrox in a bit more of a hole these days then Parkhead...at least financially. Hey-ooo!!

      Delete
  2. Do you love Coke or Pepsi?
    ANSWER THE POLL and you could receive a prepaid VISA gift card!

    ReplyDelete