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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

THE MATCHUP: On the ropes

Danny Koevermans' retirement plans are going well

SANTOS LAGUNA VS. TORONTO
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP 1
 
ESTADIO CORONA - WEDNESDAY 8PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE
 
THE KICKABOUT:
A Canadian side heading down to Latin America... in midweek... in a do-or-die situation. Nothing can go wrong now! While we don't expect an 8-1 Tegucigalping like those other Reds, not too many pesos are being bet on TFC in their final Champions League Group Stage match against the mighty (CONCACAF-mighty) Santos Laguna. Needing a 3-0 victory or better while playing some of the worst football in the club's history really only leads to one outcome - elimination.
 
No one is really all that shocked to be honest. A win in this group was always going to be tricky but if The Reds could have avoided being bullied by Santos Laguna at BMO Field earlier this year - it could have at least been interesting. It's impossible to say if Aron Winter could have done better in Champions League like his squad did last year but the safe bet is "no". Keeping the ball on the deck definitely helped in continental play but this squad wasn't (and isn't built for success) against the likes of their Mexican foes. In the end, tomorrow just marks another conclusion in the seemingly Neverending Story (Ah-a-ah! Ah-a-ah! Ah-a-ah!) of TFC 2012.
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"Journey to the Centre of Sanders' Lagoon II: The Lagooning"
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
SANTOS LAGUNA: Herculez Gomez, Juan Pablo Rodriguez, Oswaldo Sanchez
TORONTO: Eric Hassli, Reggie Lambe, Luis Silva
 
Since this match is pretty much "El Forgone Conclusion" we thought we'd offer TFC an option if they didn't think this whole football thing was worth pursuing. As they say "When in Rome, do as The Romans do. When in Mexico, become Mexican wrestlers." It's a phrase, ok. With that - a Lucha Libre card for our failed footballers and future luchadores!
 
LUCHA DICHIO PRESENTAR...
 
MATCH UNO
"RJ INCONSISTATO JR." VS. "ULTIMO PROSPECTO"
(Ryan Johnson)--------------------------- (Luis Silva)
 
MATCH DOS
"LA ERA MODERNA" VS. "EL GRINGO AFRO"
(Andrew Wiedeman)----------- (Logan Emory)
 
MATCH TRES - TAG TEAM ACCIÓN
"SENOR PLAN QUINQUENAL" & "SGT. PANTALONES CORTOS"
VS.
"PAPA TRIPLETICO" & "EL ROJO NEGLECTICO"
(Tom Anselmi & Paul Mariner)-- vs.-- (Milos Kocic & Eric Avila)
 
EL MAIN EVENTO
"GORDO NETHERLANDA" VS. "LA GINGER DEMON"
(Danny Koevermans) --------------(Richard Eckersley)
 

POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "HASTA LA VISTA CONCACAF"

And... since this match preview couldn't be further from a tactical football preview already... and since this season has been totally "fhqwhgads"... a video from our favourite Luchadore "Strong Bad"...

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