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Monday, October 15, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Sort of, kind of almost true facts about Honduras

Pranksters. Like that's a real name.

Tomorrow marks one of Canadian football's most important fixtures in years - an always difficult trip to Central America to face Honduras in a "winner-takes-all-but-Canada-also-takes-it-in-a-draw" showdown! In football, preparation is everything (well goals are everything, but preparation is okay too) and since Toronto FC are on international break we thought we'd enlist their expertise to help the Canucks. We asked the combined forces of TFC's world-renowned scouting department to find some important factoids about the mysterious "Land of Honey"... Honduras. You're welcome Stephen Hart.
11. Sporting spirits are low in Honduras as fans bemoan the second straight month of the National Cockfighting League lockout
10. In 2011, the country's main exports were mercury, parrots and coup d’états
9. The five stars on the national flag each represent one of the permanent members of 1980's hair-metal band Whitesnake
8. They put the 37th man on the moon
7. The capital city's name is actually Hondurasville. The name "Tegucigalpa" was just a national prank against atlas makers that got out of hand
6. Football supporters have kindly replaced the vile practice of throwing Ziploc bags full of urine at the opposition with the friendly and festive act of presenting them with piñatas... full of urine
5. Van Halen's 1984 hit "Panama" was originally entitled "Honduras" before a lawsuit successfully blocked David Lee Roth from ever uttering the nation's name in public
4. The runway at Tegucigalpa’s infamously dangerous airport Toncontin International (see safety video below), doubles as a local flea market between arrivals
3. Honduras had a torrid two-year extramarital affair with Belize in the 1970's
2. The United Nations ranks Honduras as # 4 in "Menacing Hand Gestures per capita"
1. Translated from Latin, the nation's official motto reads: "Sitting on Nicaragua's head since 1838"

The screaming you hear is Iain Hume looking out the window as Canada's flight arrives in Hondurasville....


  1. Can you now do a post mocking Toronto, BMO and our gutless National team players?

    1. But they do such a good job themselves! We don't want to steal work from them now do we?