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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

“The Gents” with Stan Bentley – “Canary of the Year”

Welcome to "The Gents" with Stan Bentley - The Yorkies' regular advice column for our valued readers. Bring your modern day problems and have them answered by the most valued voice - a 1950's journeyman footballer. "Back of the net!"
TFC just hired a new president and changes seem likely - did you ever end up with a tough new boss unexpectedly?
Rick - Alliston, ON
I feel your pain Richard (King's English please) - some new gaffers are just plain nasty pieces of work. Old Stan was having a cracker of a year at Norwich City. Was headed for the luxurious "Canary of the Year" award until that old curmudgeon Norman Low was put in as the new boss. Honestly, you train for nearly two hours a week, cut down to a pack a day and even switch from the stout to the ale - and for what? One late night out at his daughter's 18th birthday bash and I'm in the reserves! Norman Low got his though - ended up in the Americas managing something called the Cleveland Stokers in an NASL - which was possibly some type of television programme. Ah, stokers - fabulous things - blowing away to keep the fire alive. Wonder what happened to young Bernice Low? Good luck with the new chief Ricardo!
Hi Stan!
Where do you see yourself five years in the future? Thanks!
Cindy - Ottawa, ON
Well you are an excitable lass aren't you? That's an unreasonably heavy dosage of the exclamation marking lady. Are you taking LadyMedications? Anywhats, Old Stan makes it a point to never look too far into the future. Why fret over things you can't change? Live for today Cindy - the future is a vast unknown. That being said, in two quarters of a decade you will most likely find yours truly circling overhead in his personal gyrocopter looking down sadly at Communist-controlled Moonlandia as the great apes fight for the last remnants of nuclear-scorched terrain againt the evil robot-machine overlords. Either that, or on a small boat in the British West Indies. Live for today... and use less irrational typography.
Hi Stan,
What do you think about dating older women? Appreciated,
Warren, Oakville ON
My pleasure Warren - about thrice an hour. Oh sorry... "what"... not "when". Aye up, start over. Don't be so fickle Warren! The older woman can be worldly with exotic experience and may have learned some very interesting things along the way. Especially if she's from Derbyshire... if you catch my tail. As long as the lady you are pondering fills out a frock in the right regions and knows the her way around the business end of a shepherd's pie, Old Stan says don't think thrice about it. Go forth and experience the charms of the older woman. After all, the 22-25 year old set deserves some affection as well!
Have a problem, question or comment for Stan? Send him an email at or leave a message in the comments section below and it may be featured in a future issue

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