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Monday, December 10, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Things Kevin Payne found in his new office

"Hi, I'm here to pick up a Billy bookcase for Mr. Payne..."
Starting a new job is never easy. Starting a new job where your predecessors did their best to inadvertently drive the business into the ground is even harder. Nonetheless, Kevin Payne has embarked upon arguably the most challenging job in Major League Soccer - fixing your Toronto Eff Cee's. As the new man settles into BMO Field expectations are already high but while supporters itch for his first big move, Payne himself is simply moving. It's never fun to occupy someone else's old office, and after seven years the new boss has some clearing up to do...

11. Two giant boxes of black-and-white Adrian Cann Glamour Shots

10. A steamer trunk full of empty Twinkie wrappers with the name "Senor Collin Samuel" embossed in gold on the lid

9. Dwayne De Rosario's giant unsigned imaginary cheque

8. The secret chamber where Mo Johnston used to hide away from the media for months on end

7. A 25-pound bag of BitchyChow (TM)

6. Preki

5. The vowels needed to finally complete Raivis Hscanovics name

4. An old telephone with all ten speed dial buttons permanently set to Barry MacLean's office

3. A monkey in a shearling coat

2. A big red button under his desk with the word "MANAGER" on it that swings open a trap door

1. Four 5-Year Plans

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