THE MATCHUP: KC at bat

Drugs are out? Aw, this match just gets worse.



TORONTO VS. SPORTING KC
　
SKYDOME - SATURDAY 1:30PM
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
"The boys are back in tow-ow-ow-own!" (GUITAR RIFF!) Well in town... but a little too far to the east as the Nanny-State protects us from the evils of 7 Degree Celsius weather (or potential ice-slippage lawsuits) by "shoving" 26,000 of us into SkyDome. And yes we know it has another name but our tax dollars paid for the original one. It shall be Argostastic. Foghorn anyone?
　
If the spread-about crowd and horrendous turf weren't enough of a downer for TFC's "home" opener, then facing one of the league's best teams should bring the new-look-again Reds down to synthetic earth. This is not the rainbow clad Wiz of the Preki & Mo Johnston era but rather a balanced and pretty complete squad with strong defenders, a potent attack and a couple of local villains in Teal Bunbury and Jacob Peterson. Fun.
　
SPECIAL ALERT TO TICKET HOLDERS: Kick-off is at 1:30PM...
BE THE F*CK ON TIME!
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The PrekiMo Testimonial Match"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Danny Califf, Robert Earnshaw, Hogan Ephraim
SPORTING KC: Teal Bunbury, Claudio Bieler, Graham Zusi
　
THE ODDS:
- Preki added to SkyDome Level of Honour: 1000-1
- Mo Johnston added to SkyDome Level of Honour: 500-1
- Preki and Mo "spotted" in SkyDome Hotel window: 10-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Sporting KC and ex-TFC midfielder Jacob Peterson may be much maligned around these parts but he's really not the redneck, raging xenophobe that some make him out to be guys. Talking to USA Still #1 Today, Peterson looked forward to returning to Toronto and visiting some of his old haunts. The Michigan-native recalled that his favourite (or favorite as he demands) spots of "Canadiana" were his old local McDonald's, a Wal-Mart, the site where American Forces invaded during the War of 1812 and the American Consulate.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE:
"ECKS NOT BECKS NOT ZUSI"

BREAKING NEWS: Toronto FC officially announced the loan signing of Tottenham Hotspur property John Bostock. The 21-year-old midfielder could see time tomorrow if his international paperwork clears before kick-off.