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Saturday, March 9, 2013

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto vs Kansas City... or Does everyone have their name tags?

Hello, my name is Mark and I am a blogger for The Yorkies. This may be new to you, but for us, this is old hat. Why, every year we welcome almost an entirely new side to the home opener. This year's crop is almost as large as the first one. Enjoy your stay and if you play poorly, you'll get a nickname and we'll make stuff up about you. Except Usanov, he still punches everything.

Ok, the tutorial is over, time for some live footy. 

Folks, what we have is a mishmash. A pot-pourri if you will. We have no idea if this curry of footy will produce appetizing football, or the usual gruel that we've been expertly served and overcharged for the last 3 seasons. All I know is that we need time to let this gumbo stew. It can go either way but understand that mediocrity is anticipated and brilliance is hoped for. 

The match last week was a bit of an eye opener, in that it wasn't bad, but far from great. Bekker will be on his way to Blackburn Rovers in two or three years time to a solid career if game one was any indication of progress. The football was aggressive when possible, had some creativity and a solid back four. 

Starting XI

Eckersley - O'Dea - Califf - original Morgan
Bostock - Dunfield - Hall - Lambe
Ephraim - Earnshaw

On to the match:

3' - Terry F'ing Dunfield gets a half powered attempt at goal but easily caught by Nielsen

3' - GOAL - running onto a poor clearance, Earnshaw picks it up and buries it left side

Once a Bluebird escaping the dragon, now a Robin

Beautiful prose, that is.

21' - PENALTY - Bostock gets hauled down in the penalty area after making two KC defenders look pathetic

21' - GOAL - Earnshaw sends Nielsen the wrong way and calmly pots it

Yeah, that's happening.

HALF TIME MOOD - bewildered. I understood the potential but we need time for the chemistry blah blah blah holy shit son!!!

53' - Califf lays a ball off to original Morgan and though his cross is deflected by a defender, the ball finds an open Lambe who pops it over the bar. Heady stuff

Quote of the Match

It sounds like I'm standing in front of Jabba's Palace and I'm the fat blue elephant
~ @theyorkies1812 on standing in front of Tribal Rhythm Nation

61' - Bendik gets bailed out by the crossbar as KC start applying pressure

77' - YELLOW - Califf goes into the books for standing up to KC for mugging Eckersley

77' - GOAL - Bieler catches the Robins defense napping as a pass flies into his path and he buries it past a helpless Bendik

Oh dear...

82 - SUB - Dunfield makes way for Osorio

85' - SUB - Bostock comes off for Russell

87' - SUB - Ephraim off for Bekker

88' - goal mouth scramble... panic... panic... ahhh nooooo!... OK, everything is OK.  *sigh*

5 minutes of extra time

Wha... for what?  Idiot refs.  Is this the new scam or something?

90+4' - Bendik punches away a curling free kick.


Man of the Match : despite my protestations, Earnshaw did the brace and that's good enough though I felt my argument for Bostock was solid.

Goat of the Game : Lambe's feet seemed to stop working for a solid chunk of the second half.

Ref Rating : 2 out of 5. They were on their way to a solid 4, but like Toronto's second half, showed signs of questionable logic.

Kit Spotting : We saw, ironically, a Blackburn Rovers one.  No, Nelsen's name wasn't on the back of it.

The game was clearly a match of two halves.  The first half was an aggressive, creative, free flowing side that had its opponents pinned down for long periods of time.  The second half was a little sloppy, a little cowardly with not much comfort on the ball under pressure.  If you PVR'd the match, you can just skip the first 35 minutes of the second half.  You're welcome.

Bostock was amazing in the first half.  He worked his ass off, took on defenders without a care as to who they were and created opportunity.  Understanding that this is only one match, the eternal optimism that gets suppressed by the years of underperforming is bursting to break through.  Hope there is this much to gush about next match.

If the right video can be procured, there is a meme which will be started by this very website involving Jimmy Nielsen.  He had not one, but two infantile and very animated tantrums.  A bunch of us were sitting around the table over a pint or two (name dropping @theyorkies1812, @kzknowles, @DuncanDFletcher and @RedWineRoz) and we talked about rivalries.  The two teams that always seem to inspire frustration and hatred for me are Dallas and KC.  There's just something about their players that just raise the ire.  Couldn't care less about Columbus, care little of Montreal or Vancouver.  Between the whining of the players, unsportsmanlike conduct with throw ins, over-pandering to the referee it just makes me want to physically harm a player in their stupid pajama-blue kits.  Nielsen needs a few open handed slaps in front of his family for his behavior.

OK, see you in Montreal next week.

Player Ratings : Bendik 6, Eckersley 6, O'Dea 6.5, Califf 6, original Morgan 6, Bostock 7 [Russell N/A], Dunfield 6 [Osorio N/A], Hall 6, Lambe 5.5, Ephraim 6.5 [Bekker N/A], Earnshaw 7

@ignirtoq is usually more animated during games, but less animated after them.  You get 2 pints of cider in him and he starts getting insane and a bit wobbly like an amateur.  Follow him on twitter for any reason you like.  He won't mind.  Much.


  1. Fools seldom differ dept. home game episode 1

    Agree with KC animosity, they were less than Sporting

    Disagree with robins as your long time hope for a nickname, red rockets, squirrels, grenadiers, condos, casinos?

    Loved Coach Nelsen's post game conference - closing out a game with a goal lead was his favourite as a player. Talk about a refreshing change to TFC culture and saying farewell to old woes.

    1. I'm just hopeful for something a little less generic than the 'reds', but going for something that's both passive yet doesn't sound like an Arena (hut hut) Football name.

      Even though this team needs to gel and it's far too easy to get hopes high, there has been a bit of a culture overhaul from the attitude on the pitch to how the club is conducting themselves.

  2. Usually it would be the usual Winter presser rant about the refs screwing us after an inevitable league loss.

  3. great match report. spot on with KC whining and thanks for letting me know I wasn't the only one laughing hysterically at Neilson in goal acting like a 3 year old told he couldn't have the bag of cookies at the grocery store....what a twat.

    For Bostock he had my vote until the second half where he didn't contribute much. I rewatched the game though and it wasn't his one passed to him......

    CJ sapong needs to be closely guarded when he plays.....carved us open and almost scored a bunch of times.....

    1. If I could make an animated gif of his hissy fit, I would...

  4. The Guy from Section 125

    I have been following your blog off and on for the last 3 years. Keep up the good work.

    Comment. Each year I sell more of my tickets to reduce my cost of holding season seats. But really, its to dilute the terrible football entertainment I am accustom to seeing played at BMO field to date.

    Yesterdays game was no more entertaining then seeing my local rep team play.

    My goal this year is to convince enough fans...(yes fans, since the south east side does not consider me a support due to my criticisms of the team)to stop chanting Danny Dicchio (SP) at the 20 something minute of each game.