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Monday, March 11, 2013

THE STARTING 11: Items on Toronto FC's Montreal trip "to-do" list

The hunt... Is. On.

When all is said and fini this year, TFC and L'Impact du Montreal à la Bibliothèque will have faced each other five times. The ten trips up and down Highway 401(AutoRoute quatre zéro une for our amis) start this weekend as The Reds and their jolly bunch of supporters head to that belle province to the east for Saturday's date at The Big O. Preparing for a trip is never fun but when a big club travels en masse to visit their heated rival, preparation is everything. So what do TFC have to remember to do before packing leurs sacs?
11. Remind Robert Earnshaw that front-flips need to be performed in both official languages
10. Pack Reggie Lambe's Patois-English-French-Quebecois-Quebecois Patois Dictionary
9. Make sure that Darren O'Dea's Guinness intravenous drip is ready for St. Patrick's Day
8. Bring a bocce ball set to distract Impact's old Italian players
7. Get tickets to see Maxim Usanov at the UFC event that evening
6. Offer a live chicken in sacrifice at the ancient temple of St-Hubert
5. Use up the leftover credits on Miguel Aceval and Nick Soolsma's "Club Super Sexe" gift cards
4. Give Bitchy the Hawk Youppi's scent
3. Pack two cases of Jos. Louis cakes, Pepsi-Colas and smokes to get out of any potential hostage takings
2. Always have a quality cheese knife
1. Issue press release explaining that TFC's first six seasons have all been an elaborate "Just for Laughs" gag


  1. #1...fantastic.

    Have you guys considered writing for Letterman? They could use you.

  2. Do you drink Pepsi or Coca-Cola?
    SUBMIT YOUR ANSWER and you could win a prepaid VISA gift card!