THE MATCHUP: HOU are ya?

"Joe Bendik. Let me tell ya' - Joe Bendik... no respect!"

TORONTO VS. HOUSTON
　
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 4PM
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Tarting up a TFC v Dynamo fixture is like putting lipstick on the proverbial piggy. Try as we might, there is so little marketable friction between these two "Eastern Conference rivals". Even between the two cities there is nowt to fluff. We can only use "Houston we have a problem", the fat dude from Running Man and Warren Moon gags so often. Club Escobar was a nice brief treat.
　
Thus, the highly unhilarious narrative for this match is entirely football related (go figure) and centered on TFC's prospective squad selection. With the big Voyageurs Cup semi-final 1st Leg vs. Montreal next Wednesday, will Ryan Nelsen elect to rest some regular starters? Despite TFC's new resilient play in 2013, playoffs are still considered a very long shot and the V-Cup likely provides the club with its best shot at glory. If the importance of national gloat rights, which we in Toronto enjoy immensely, is evident to the new management then perhaps names like Ryan Richter, Doneil Henry and Justin Braun see more minutes on Saturday. This damp squib fixture may get damper in the quest for some silverware. Did we mention Club Escobar?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Adrian Serioux Testimonial"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Joe Bendik, Robert Earnshaw, Luis Silva
HOUSTON: Giles Barnes, Brad Davis, Kofi Sarkodie
　
THE ODDS:
- TFC wins - considered a "fluke": 10-1
- TFC loses - considered "business as usual": 5-1
- TFC grabs a draw - blamed on the weather: 2-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
One of the most pleasant TFC surprises in 2013 has been the play of 'keeper Joe Bendik. The unexpectedly solid displays have made Reds supporters take notice but the same can't be said of Major League Soccer. Despite numerous point-grabbing stops, Bendik is only ranked 185th in the league's "Castrol Official Performance Index". While being lauded by motor oil is not all that important in the grand scheme of things, those ranked above him are just unjustified:
# 30:- Carlo Cudicini - GK Los Angeles
# 78: Bobby Shuttleworth - GK New England
# 92:- The left goal post at Crew Stadium
# 113: FC Dallas mascot "Tex Hooper"
# 129: A pylon
# 154: An actual bottle of Castrol motor oil
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "ORANGE YOU GLAD YOU STAYED HOME?"



Never forget.