The Price is Red

We really could have used a 10...

When the annual salary report is released by the MLS Players Union it leads to all kinds of financial naval gazing among the clubs' supporters. Who is money well spent? (Cough, Bendik. Cough, Boss. Cough, Osorio) Who isn't worth their inflated salary? (Outcasts of the English Championship. Splatter.)

 

You will find all types of analysis in the near future regarding the market value of players, defender to midfielder algebra and a player's ability to make the moneyz rain. The closest we here at this site come to financial advisers is wearing "BMO" on our replica kits so instead we offer an alternative view on the value of the current squad. A simple look at what you could buy for the price of one of your Tee Eff Cee's guaranteed salary.

 

Whether you would keep the player over say... what is behind Door # 2 is up to you...

 

GALE AGBOSSOUMONDE - $53,166.67 or... 224 vowels on "Wheel of Fortune"

KYLE BEKKER - $67,750 or... 4234 new Presto transit cards

JOE BENDIK - $46,500 or... 4.3 Stefan Frei's

ASHTON BENNETT - $46,500 or... 5412 Chicken Roti dinners

JOHN BOSTOCK - $99.996 or... 208 sets of replica kits from his former clubs

JUSTIN BRAUN - $114,700 or... 1274 replica John Stockton jerseys

DANNY CALIFF - $165,000 or... 1100 hours with a tattoo artist

TERRY DUNFIELD - $120,000 or... 8571 sets of sock tassels

ROBERT EARNSHAW - $155,150 or... 5172 adopted whales a year

RICHARD ECKERSLEY - $310,000 or... 31000 bottles of SPF 60 suntan lotion

LOGAN EMORY - $48,400 or... 5377 autographed photos of Dustin "Screech" Diamond

HOGAN EPHRAIM - $180,000 or... 2250 seats to QPR's final Premier League match

STEFAN FREI - $200,000 or... 8333 protective face masks

JEREMY HALL - $90,000 or... 4500 "Best of Arsenio Hall" DVD's

DONEIL HENRY - $62,083 or... 41389 "Oh Henry!" bars

DANNY KOEVERMANS - $1,663,323 or... 43,772 "The Settlers of Catan" games

MATIAS LABA - $200,000 or... 114, 285 stamps for regretful letters back to family in Argentina

REGGIE LAMBE - $70,000 or... 389 (95lb -109lb) live lambs

ASHTONE MORGAN - $72,000 or... 5161 bottles of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum

TAYLOR MORGAN - $35,125 or... 2517 bottles of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum

DARREN O'DEA - $456,250 or... 58,870 pints of Guinness to drown post-match sorrows

JONATHAN OSORIO - $46,500 or... 203 nights in the Montevideo, Uruguay Radisson Hotel

RYAN RICHTER - $46,500 or... 924 scales

QUILLAN ROBERTS - $46,500 or... 193 pairs of tickets for "Avenue Q" on Broadway

DAREL RUSSELL - $109,874 or... $21,974 for each of Darel's names in his full name

LUIS SILVA - $105,400 or... 10,450 cover charges at Club Escobar

EMERY WELSHMAN - $46,500 or... 2906 new Presto transit cards

ANDREW WIEDEMAN - $65,000 or... 2167 "New Era" baseball caps