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Monday, May 6, 2013

THE STARTING 11: TFC late-match excuses

"Warm milk was a bad choice..."

The first time Toronto FC gave up a goal in the dying minutes of a match it was put down to bad luck. The second time raised a few eyebrows. Now that we're headed to a half-dozen last-minute reverse-heroics/brainfarts it has just become expected. You would be hard-pressed to find a Reds' supporter who feels comfortable in the 85th minute of a match unless TFC has a solid 5 to 8 goal lead. So yeah. But what are the reasons for such mass mental breakdowns? It may be deeper than you think...
11. Ryan Nelsen's mandatory halftime warm milk starts to kick in
10. Bermuda Triangle is playing up (Reggie Lambe only)
9. Logan Emory's new Nike Ballet Slippers not worked in yet
8. That guy in the 5th row keeps giving us the hurtful side-eye
7. We are waiting for a 34-year-old, notoriously slow-starting, just back from destructive ACL injury and major surgery to cure everything that is wrong with the club
6. So much pressure to live up to the legendary names that played defense for Toronto FC in the past such as Hscanovics, Usanov, Garcia and Braz
5. We swoon whenever Darren O'Dea yells out tactical instructions in his beguiling Irish brogue
4. Want to finish early to beat traffic
3. Still miss Torsten Frings' lovely late-match cuddles
2. Stefan Frei keeps cough-yelling "JINX!" when Joe Bendik attempts a late-match save
1. Saving all our energy for the Voyaguers Cup; CONCACAF Champions League; MLS Playoffs; The SuperDraft

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