THE STARTING 11: Interchangeable BMO Field / Toronto City Hall press quotes

"Everthing's fine."

It's not quite art imitating life. More like a "Dogs Playing Poker" painting imitating one of those 3D sailboat pictures off of 1990's mall kiosks. Life for those in Toronto who are A) Toronto FC supporters and B) not card-carrying members of "Ford Nation" - tends to be one long cringe-filled existence these days. You can't read the news without the latest on the "mayor’s" Chris Farleyesque crack antics (Alleged. Also pfft.) before turning to the sports section only to be confronted with TFC's latest result going up in smoke (Verified. Also pfft.). The only things more irritating are the hasty press conferences that answer nothing after the fact. What is surprising however are how many stock-quotes can be spouted at both miserable venues without changing a word...
　
11. "We inherited a mess..."
　
10. "We're turning the corner..."
　
9. "We need to stop being wasteful..."
　
8. "David Miller is always watching us with sad eyes."
　
7. "Going to bring in some movers and shakers..."
　
6. "Who ate all the pies?"
　
5. "We don't talk about personnel issues."
　
4. "No I am not resigning!"
　
3. "I don't smoke crack" / "I don't score goals" (TIE)
　
2. "Has been fired as football coach..."
　
1. "Anything else?"

"Everything's fine."

A tip of the hat to friends of The Yorkies Will Graham ( @BigWullieStyle ) and Kristin Knowles ( @kzknowles ) for goofing around with us on this one.